How to Be the Jerk Women Love
Beverly Hills, 90210 - S9 - E11
Gina finds heroin in Dylan's jacket. He throws out his stash to prove himself, but continues to get high. Dylan tries to visit Toni's grave, only to find that it has been moved. He buys a gun and heads for Marchette's house in the hopes of learning the new location. Kelly balks at sleeping with Matt. She helps out with David's radio show and advises listeners to take relationships slowly. She promptly spends the night with Matt. Steve puts on a seminar offering techniques on how to pick up women. His students express dissatisfaction at their results, but David scores with a line about a dead grandmother. Gina stirs up trouble between Donna and her mother. Music: ""One Week"" by Barenaked Ladies (#1, 1998)
Beverly Hills, 90210: Season 9 - 26 Episode s
9x1 - The Morning After
September 16, 1998
Brandon and Kelly sleep together the night of the aborted wedding. Brandon considers their night together a mistake, while Kelly realizes that she wishes they had married after all. A lonely Brandon goes to Kelly's apartment in search of comfort and ends up staying the night. He then rejects Kelly's suggestion that they go on their honeymoon, and declares that he wants to move on. After her HIV test comes back negative, Valerie annoys everyone with her new policy of brutal honesty. David takes her cue and issues an ultimatum to his boss, who cuts him loose. David suspects that Val is pushing everyone away to punish herself for some reason. Valerie makes a stunning confession about her father's death. He did not commit suicide; she murdered him. Donna goes against Noah's wishes by accepting an invitation to have dinner with his parents on Mr. Hunter's birthday. The evening proves to be a disaster, just as Noah had predicted. His father later visits the club and reveals that his company
9x2 - Budget Cuts
September 23, 1998
After learning that the clinic may lose funding, Kelly asks Brandon to write a story to generate publicity. They try to collaborate on the article, but find that working together is too painful. Kelly organizes an auction to raise money for the clinic. She models her wedding gown in the fashion show portion of the event, and Brandon outbids everyone for a date with her. Brandon and Kelly take a walk on the beach and decide that they are through. The clinic must still cut back its staff (even after the fundraiser), so Kelly resigns. Although David believes that Valerie killed her father in self-defense and should move on, she insists on bringing her mother to town to discuss the situation. When Val tries to confess, she learns that Abby knew of the abuse prior to her husband's death. She did not take any action because she believed that Victor would seek help. Valerie finds a connection with Abby's fiancé, an ex-policeman.
9x3 - Dealer's Choice
September 30, 1998
Abby announces that she and Carl are planning to elope in Las Vegas, and asks Val to be her maid of honor. Valerie bonds with Carl during an evening at the casino, and sleeps with him the night before the wedding. A depressed Kelly begs Val to let her tag along on the trip because she believes that Brandon is seeing someone else. She has a good time gambling and hanging out with a stranger, until the sight of a woman in a wedding dress brings her back to reality. Noah develops an obsession with his father's gun after the police return it to him. He drinks heavily and causes an embarrassing scene at the Martins' 25th wedding anniversary party. While working on Mr. Hunter's obituary, Brandon begins to fear that he will never have any meaningful accomplishments. He meets with a reporter from a New York paper, who sets up a job interview. A woman helping Donna pursue an account poses as her business partner, then steals her designs to get an in-house position with the client. Steve catches
9x4 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
October 28, 1998
Carl decides to annul his marriage to Abby because he believes that he has a future with Valerie. Valerie comes clean with her mother about her night with Carl, and confesses to killing her father. Despite Val's claims of self-defense, Abby plans to turn her in. Kelly stops at a newsstand to ogle a handsome man at a nearby table. Kelly notices that a store is for lease and decides that she and Donna should open a boutique. While looking over the space, she meets attorney Matt Durning (the guy she was checking out). Noah cannot bring himself to deliver his father's eulogy. He is arrested for drunk driving that night, and Kelly suggests that Matt represent him. Noah receives a fine and probation and is ordered to attend alcohol counseling. Kelly learns that Matt is building a child custody case for a wife beater whose spouse she once helped at the clinic. Matt insists that everyone has the right to representation, but Kelly blows him off. Steve gives Sophie a column for the Beat. The pap
9x5 - Brandon Leaves
November 4, 1998
Brandon announces that he has accepted a job with the Washington bureau of the New York Chronicle. Kelly and Donna prepare to open their store, Now Wear This. Brandon becomes unnerved by the realization that Kelly is getting on with her life, and feels threatened by Matt's presence. Kelly meets with Leah, who explains that she returned to Lenny after learning that she was pregnant, but left again when he threatened her life. Although Kelly insists that she doesn't need his help, Brandon writes a story about the custody case. Brandon decides that he wants to stay in Los Angeles, but Kelly urges him to take the job and pursue his dreams. The gang throws a surprise going-away party for Brandon. Before departing, he convinces his parents to let Steve, Val and Noah stay in the house. Donna turns to Matt for comfort as she and Noah drift further apart. Valerie seeks legal advice from Matt. She explains that the killing was an accident, but Matt warns that a jury may not agree. Abby tells Val
9x6 - Confession
November 11, 1998
Lenny receives joint custody of his daughter. After he explodes in a rage during his first visit, Kelly decides to help Leah and her daughter skip town and assume a new identity. Lenny follows them, realizes what they are planning, and attacks Leah. Matt, bothered by a guilty conscience, helps Leah obtain the necessary identification to start her new life. Valerie elects to throw a massive rave as a farewell party before turning herself in to the police. David calls Abby to inform her of Val's plans, and she intercepts her daughter at the police station. She pleads with Val not to confess and offers forgiveness, insisting that she is to blame for not intervening on Valerie's behalf. Unable to communicate with Noah, Donna begins dating Matt. She hurts Matt's feelings by ignoring him during Val's party to tend to the inebriated Noah. Noah breaks a promise to Donna by skipping a court-mandated AA meeting and continuing to drink. Sophie tries her hand at waitressing after a disastrous phot
9x7 - You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello
November 18, 1998
As Kelly and Valerie pack Brandon's belongings for shipment, Kelly discovers a letter in which Val advised Brandon not to marry her. She turns everyone against Val and gets them to boycott her Thanksgiving gathering. Hoping to help Kelly understand Valerie's behavior, David details her troubled childhood. Although Val is not interested in her pity, Kelly insists on helping with Thanksgiving dinner. Kelly and Valerie establish another truce, but Valerie suddenly announces that she is moving back to Buffalo. She apologizes for all the trouble she caused, and thanks everyone for their friendship before leaving. David has a one-night stand with an apparent groupie, unaware that she is just seventeen years old. He faces statutory rape charges after the girl confesses to her parents. Noah blacks out while driving drunk and crashes his car. He fears that he may have been involved with a hit-and-run, and turns himself in. Donna's cousin Gina comes to town with an ice show. She loses her job an
9x8 - I'm Back Because
December 2, 1998
David is arrested for statutory rape and gets suspended from his radio show. Dylan bails him out of jail, then learns from Mrs. Teasley that Denise is a troubled girl who receives little attention from her parents. Dylan confronts Denise's parents and--speaking from his own experience as a neglected teen--explains that their daughter's actions are a cry for help. Denise drops the charges. David thanks Dylan by offering him a place to stay, as Dylan recently sold his house. Steve bristles at the news that his mother is dating her much younger co-star. Steve sees the man kissing another woman at the After Dark and starts a fight. Samantha reveals that she is not seeing the man; she is actually gay. Matt experiences a lull in his business and cannot pay his rent. Steve offers to let him move into the house in exchange for legal services for the Beat. Kelly's grandfather, who suffers from emphysema, refuses to undergo an operation that could prolong his life. After Kelly tells him that Jac
9x9 - The Following Options
December 9, 1998
After Kelly's grandfather nearly dies of pneumonia, she reluctantly gives the doctors permission to hook him up to a ventilator. Jackie and Kelly realize that the machines are taking away Ed's dignity without improving his condition. They decide to bring him home to spend his remaining time with his family. Kelly grows angry with Matt when he takes a case defending a tobacco company. He drops the case and quits smoking to impress Kelly, but she kisses Dylan. Donna agrees to let a troubled fifteen-year-old girl buy a dress on layaway. The girl's fellow gang members convince her to slice up the dress and return it as damaged goods. Sonia later apologizes and offers to work off her debt at the store. Dylan takes his bullet-riddled Porsche out of storage. He impresses Gina by coming to her defense when a drunk harasses her at the club. Dylan catches the guy and his friends vandalizing the Porsche; he gets a knife away from one of them and threatens to kill him. Dylan suffers nightmares abo
9x10 - Marathon Man
December 16, 1998
Dylan whisks Kelly away to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for the day. He buys her a hollow statue so that he can smuggle drugs back into the U.S. Kelly rejects Dylan and decides to focus on her relationship with Matt. Dylan promptly takes Gina to Mexico, and again smuggles heroin in a statue. When the statue ends up locked inside the boutique after hours, Dylan seduces Gina to get it back. Sonia and her boyfriend spend the night at Donna's store. One of Sonia's friends pulls a knife on her and warns her to stay away from her man. The store is robbed, and everyone believes that Sonia committed the crime to acquire enough money to escape the gang. She later reveals that she endured a beating to keep her friends from robbing the store, and a security guard actually committed the crime. Sonia thanks Donna for helping her get out of the gang. Steve mistakenly pledges per hour for an AIDS dance-a-thon at the club; he wanted to donate a total of one thousand dollars. He tries to keep his costs
9x11 - How to Be the Jerk Women Love
January 13, 1999
Gina finds heroin in Dylan's jacket. He throws out his stash to prove himself, but continues to get high. Dylan tries to visit Toni's grave, only to find that it has been moved. He buys a gun and heads for Marchette's house in the hopes of learning the new location. Kelly balks at sleeping with Matt. She helps out with David's radio show and advises listeners to take relationships slowly. She promptly spends the night with Matt. Steve puts on a seminar offering techniques on how to pick up women. His students express dissatisfaction at their results, but David scores with a line about a dead grandmother. Gina stirs up trouble between Donna and her mother. Music: ""One Week"" by Barenaked Ladies (#1, 1998)
9x12 - Trials and Tribulations
January 20, 1999
Dylan storms into the Marchette mansion and holds a couple at gunpoint. They tell him that they purchased the house from Marchette's estate; he committed suicide a few weeks after Toni's death. Gina pushes Dylan away when he continues to use heroin. The cops pull him over on suspicion of breaking and entering, and find drugs and a gun on his bike. He calls Gina from jail and begs her to bring him drugs, as he cannot handle withdrawal. Steve's students demand a refund and take him to small-claims court. The case is heard on the television show Judge Mary. Although Steve loses, he believes that the publicity will help his business. David's new girlfriend dumps him after hearing him testify about using a pick-up line to seduce her. Donna and Noah house-sit for the Martins in order to gain some privacy. They invite their friends over for a barbecue. Matt brings Dylan to the party and suggests that he admit his drug problem to everyone. Gina reluctantly gives Dylan heroin, then stalks off w
9x13 - Withdrawal
January 27, 1999
Donna is not seriously injured, and forgives Dylan for the accident. Dylan's friends encourage him to check into rehab. Kelly acts very pushy and suggests that Gina and Matt are responsible for Dylan's problems. Dylan sneaks out the bathroom window and attempts to go through withdrawal on his own. Kelly finds him lying on her doorstep and takes him to the hospital. Matt cuts a deal with the district attorney to keep Dylan out of jail, but isn't sure that he deserves another chance. Dylan goes into cardiac arrest and has to be revived through a defibrillator. Kelly realizes that she must back off and learn to respect Gina's relationship with Dylan. Matt receives a surprising call from a woman in New York. Donna designs a gown for a famous singer to wear to a nationally televised awards show. She fears that she is ruined when the woman looks like a wreck (with uncombed hair and garish accessories). However, the teenagers who emulate the singer soon flock to Donna's store. Steve gets into
9x14 - I'm Married
February 3, 1999
Matt flies to New York to visit Lauren, who has spent the past three years in a mental institution. She returns to Los Angeles with Matt, but he is reluctant to introduce her to Kelly. David and Gina see the couple kissing on the street. Kelly angrily breaks up with Matt, then decides that she will fight for him. Matt informs Kelly that Lauren is his wife. Dylan performs community service on a road crew. He objects to the tyrannical foreman's treatment of one of the other workers, an upstanding family man. Dylan gets into a fight with the foreman; he must smooth things over to spare his friend from an unfair punishment. Dylan angers Gina by confiding in his sponsor while shutting Gina out. David meets a woman who may be his perfect match, but she seems to have stood him up. Steve and Donna engage in a war of practical jokes with Noah after they catch him cheating at strip poker. Music: ""Jumper"" by Third Eye Blind (#5, 1999)
9x15 - Beheading St. Valentine
February 10, 1999
Although he loves Lauren and feels obligated to help her readjust to society, Matt expresses a desire to stay with Kelly. Kelly tries to maintain her relationship with Matt, but realizes she must bow out following a plea from Lauren. Donna becomes furious upon discovering old photos of Gina kissing Noah at the amusement park. She agrees to pose as David's girlfriend at a business function, where they keep up appearances by kissing for a photograph. They later kiss in David's truck. Donna feels guilty and forgives Noah; Gina drops hints suggesting that she slept with him. Steve discovers an irregular mole and fears that he may have skin cancer. He vows to turn his life around and apologizes for taking Janet for granted. She sleeps with him, but he returns to his old ways after tests come back negative. Dylan tries to keep his mind off drugs by having sex with Gina in public places. Music: ""My Own Worst Enemy"" by Lit; ""Declarat
9x16 - Survival Skills
February 17, 1999
Lauren suffers a reaction to her medication. She learns that she will die if she continues to take her medication; without the pills, her schizophrenia will resurface. Lauren prepares to return to the institution, but Matt proposes that they illegally obtain more pills and spend their remaining weeks together on a second honeymoon. Kelly stops sulking about Matt long enough to buy Dylan a classic car to lift his spirits. Gina becomes extremely jealous. Donna breaks up with Noah after he confesses to sleeping with Gina. Gina later reveals that they did not have sex. Donna insults her and refuses to forgive Noah. She co-hosts David's radio show for a night and reminisces about the good times. David shows up on Donna's doorstep, and they share a passionate kiss. Steve and Janet take a pair of troubled teens on a camping trip. While trying to counsel the bickering kids, Steve and Janet end up seeking romantic advice. Janet accidentally lets her feelings for Steve slip out. They spend the n
9x17 - Slipping Away
March 3, 1999
Kelly and Dylan agree to go to Mexico and obtain medication for Lauren. Kelly has second thoughts about their mission. She sleeps with Dylan, then decides that she doesn't want to buy the drugs. Dylan confuses Kelly when he starts babbling about their relationship to the customs official. Dylan explains that he got the medicine, and needed to distract the customs official to keep him from searching the car. Lauren elects not to take the pills, as she would rather return to the institution and hope for a cure. She asks Kelly to watch over Matt and help him get on with his life. Donna agrees to a date with the persistent David. She rejects Noah's pleas for a reconciliation and asks for time to make a decision. Gina discovers that her mother spent most of the money she earned skating as a minor. Donna encourages her to sue the trustee who failed to protect her interests, and is stunned to find that it is Felice. Janet hides her relationship with Steve from her father, who only wants her t
9x18 - Bobbi Dearest
March 10, 1999
Gina decides to sue Felice for .1 million for the money her mother misspent and ""pain and suffering."" Donna, torn apart by her family's bickering, runs crying to Noah. She doesn't believe that David has a right to be angry, but later apologizes and claims that he is just lonely. He follows her advice and uses his radio show to field offers from potential girlfriends. He loses track of the woman who most interests him, and eventually discovers that she works for a cleaning service that cleans the club. Donna convinces her mother to repay Gina the ,000 she lost. Gina and Bobbi had actually orchestrated a scam to rip off Felice; they celebrate their success. Matt learns that Lauren has filed for divorce. Kelly wants to take things slowly, but cannot stay away from Matt. Dylan nearly dies in a Jet Ski accident. He tries to track down the guy who revived him.
9x19 - The Leprechaun
March 17, 1999
Noah faces foreclosure after failing to make his mortgage payments on the Peach Pit/After Dark building. He accepts an offer from a restaurant owner willing to pay much higher rent, and decides to terminate Nat's lease. Noah ignores a warning from Dylan, who buys the building so that Nat can stay. Claudia reveals that her visa will soon expire; David vows to help her stay in the country. When a job offer falls through, David agrees to marry Claudia. As a promotion, Steve has a man dress up as a leprechaun and promises a ""pot of gold"" to the person who catches him. A butcher takes the offer seriously and demands a reward, then pulls out a knife when Steve is unable to pay. The man breaks down in tears and explains that his son needs heart surgery. The paper helps finance the operation, thanks to donations sent in by readers touched by the man's plight. Kelly and Donna clash when Kelly hires a public relations guru to attract more attention to the store.
9x20 - Fortune Cookie
April 7, 1999
David and Claudia proceed with plans for their wedding, and attempt to document their relationship to avoid suspicion. Claudia realizes that David is having doubts; she elects to return to Venezuela and apply for another visa. Dylan rigs a raffle so that Kelly can have the opportunity to meet her favorite singer. Gina goes to the man's hotel room, claiming to be Kelly. She spends the night at the hotel to make Dylan jealous, although she later insists that nothing happened. Kelly helps Matt film a television commercial to solicit new clients. Matt fears that Kelly does not like him for himself, and suspects that she is hung up on Dylan. Donna designs costumes for a production at West Beverly, where an acquaintance accuses the drama teacher of molesting her during her teen years. Donna does not believe her claims, until the woman explains that she drove Donna away from the drama class to protect her. Donna and Ashley take action after discovering that the teacher made inappropriate adva
9x21 - I Want to Reach Right Out and Grab Ya
April 14, 1999
Dylan accompanies Matt to a pool hall and helps him hustle a client who refused to pay his bill. The guys return to the pool hall with Gina and Kelly the next day, and get into a brawl. The foursome's newfound friendship comes to an end after a magician hypnotizes Kelly during his act. He asks her with whom she would want to be stranded on a deserted island, and she replies, ""Dylan McKay."" Matt is angry, but decides that it isn't a big deal. Gina slaps Kelly and runs out of the club. A man tries to attack her with a knife; she escapes, but Kelly and Dylan do not believe Gina's story until the police catch her attacker. Kelly apologizes and promises to stay away from Dylan. Gina makes plans to spend time with Olympic gold medallist Oksana Baiul, a friend from her skating days, only to find that she is instead being hired as a housesitter. Donna's parents announce that they are separating. Donna blames her mother until Felice reveals that Dr. Martin is the one who wants the separation.
9x22 - Local Hero
April 21, 1999
Kelly and Dylan run into each other at the market and share a cup of coffee. They subdue a man who tries to attack a pregnant woman and her child, and help the woman get to the hospital to have her baby. When the press approaches Kelly, she identifies Steve as the hero because she and Dylan don't want to admit that they were together. Steve initially relishes the attention, but soon suffers from a guilty conscience. He confronts Kelly and Dylan and states that everyone can tell that they want each other. Kelly plans to tell Matt the truth, while Dylan considers breaking up with Gina. Gina receives an offer to become a skating commentator, but loses the job (partially because of Matt's hardball negotiating technique). Matt apologizes and offers Gina work as his assistant. Dylan cannot bring himself to break up with Gina while she is in this vulnerable state. Kelly tells Matt that Dylan was the hero, but stops short of disclosing the fact that she slept with Dylan in Mexico. Noah reveals
9x23 - The End of the World as We Know It
April 28, 1999
Kelly and Matt babysit Erin, and have sex in the living room after she goes to sleep. They do not realize that Mel and Jackie have set up a video camera to observe prospective nannies with Erin. Erin switches the tape with a copy of ""There's Something About Mary,"" and the illicit video ends up in Dylan and Gina's hands. Dylan becomes furious, prompting Gina to suspect that he still has feelings for Kelly. She believes that Dylan is trying to overcompensate by arranging a private concert by Monica, and tricks him into admitting that he slept with Kelly in Mexico. Matt breaks up with Kelly, who reminds him that he was married at the time. He forgives her after she insists that she never revealed the truth because she did not want to add to his woes. Donna asks Wayne, a good-looking pro beach volleyball player, to model her new line of men's wear.
9x24 - Dog's Best Friend
May 5, 1999
David comforts a drunken and depressed Gina outside the After Dark, and she responds with a kiss. David and Dylan spend the weekend in Las Vegas, where Dylan has a one-night stand, but lets the woman believe that he wants to see her again. David, disgusted by Dylan's behavior, gives the woman their address when she inquires about a visit. She shows up just as Dylan and Gina are on the verge of getting back together. Dylan believes that David is in love with Gina and shouts that he can have her, unaware that she is standing outside. Dylan apologizes and tells Gina that she should find a man who is capable of a relationship. Kelly arranges some dental work for Gina; Mel notices decay that indicates that she is bulimic, but Gina denies her problem. Matt shows Noah a report that proves that Mr. Hunter was aware that a new partnership would harm the environment. A devastated Noah decides to help Matt prepare the case. They discover a memo that exonerates Noah's father, as he demanded that t
9x25 - Agony
May 12, 1999
Kelly receives medical treatment and files a police report. She tells Dylan what has happened, and stays over at his house for several nights. She also confides in Donna, but cannot bring herself to tell Matt. He notices her odd behavior and suspects that she is seeing Dylan. Kelly receives counseling from a rape crisis center, but still feels extremely vulnerable. Dylan gets her a gun. Matt helps a thief gain his release through a technicality. His client is the same man who raped Kelly, and they nearly run into each other. Although Dylan warns that she is still fragile, David asks Gina on a date. He supports her as she tries out for a spot in an ice show. Gina does not emerge for her audition; she has passed out in the bathroom after purging. Wayne asks Donna to accompany him to Acapulco for a volleyball tournament. She turns him down because she does not want to shake up her life. After one of his photographs receives acclaim, Steve tries to impress Janet by becoming a professional
9x26 - That's the Guy
May 19, 1999
Kelly tells Matt about the rape. Dylan puts up a ,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the rapist. Some men try to ambush him and take the money, but Matt helps chase them away. Joe asks Matt to help him file a lawsuit charging police brutality. He goes to Now Wear This and finds Kelly working alone. When she recognizes him, he locks the door and brandishes a knife. She pulls her gun out of her purse and fires off a round of shots. Noah breaks up with Donna because he does not trust her. Believing that Donna's behavior stemmed from concern for Kelly, he comes over to apologize. He finds that she has slept with Wayne, and refuses to give her another chance. Wayne leaves for the summer to play in a series of tournaments. However, he then takes a job in Los Angeles and tells Donna that he wants to be with her. Gina confides in David about her bulimia and seeks refuge at his house. David erupts after finding Gina in bed with Dylan. Steve and Janet throw a party to celeb