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Holby City
Season 8
Episode 38

I Am Not What I Am

July 18, 2006

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Holby City - S8 - E38

Matt tries to raise some money by signing up for clinical trials, after his landlord evicts him over unpaid rent , and Lola is angry when she receives a postcard from her globe-trotting daughter. Donna helps with a drugs audit, but ends up flirting with Bradley.

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Holby City: Season 8 - 52 Episode s

8x1 - The Outsiders
October 18, 2005
Chrissie visits Owen after taking a pregnancy test, fearing she may never be able to have children. Dean learns a lesson whilst shadowing Diane.
8x2 - Test Your Metal/A Great Leap Forward
October 25, 2005
Parts three and four of a two-hour "Casualty@Holby City" special aired in four parts over consecutive weeknights. For parts one and two, see Casualty S20E09.
8x3 - Crimes and Misdemeanours
November 1, 2005
Lola discovers there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Mickie battles against rules and regulations only to find out that they are put there for a reason. Dean relises he can't put his personal pride before a patient.
8x4 - More Equal than Others
November 8, 2005
With her eye on the Clinical Lead job, the arrival of new consultant Elliot Hope turns Connie's world upside down. Lola struggles when her daughter decides to move in with her boyfriend.
8x5 - Butterfly Effect
November 15, 2005
Mark is forced to leave the comfort of Darwin for the chaos of AAU. Elliot crosses Connie again and Donna oversteps the mark with disastrous results.
8x6 - Bird on a Wire
November 22, 2005
Ric performs extreme surgery on one of his patients, with disastrous consequences. Owen finally decides between Chrissie and Diane, and Matt bumps into a face from the past.
8x7 - Learning Curve
November 29, 2005
Diane passes her consultant's exam, but is she ready for promotion? Connie learns that Elliot can be a pillar of support. Meanwhile, Dean's future hangs in the balance.
8x8 - Comfort of Strangers
December 6, 2005
Lola finds Amy drinking heavily in an attempt to cause a miscarriage. Donna decides to contact social services, but the troubled teenager's stepfather has other ideas and secretly arranges for her to go to another hospital. Chrissie tells Owen she is leaving Holby, forcing him to finally make a choice between her and Diane.
8x9 - Prometheus Unbound
December 13, 2005
Abra returns to Holby with his nephew, who needs an urgent transplant. Ric is unable to operate because of the injury to his hand - but he relents when the patient's mother reveals a secret. Owen fears that he might get sacked for hitting Amy's stepfather, and that this could jeopardise his access to Katie. Diane tries to keep Laura from turning on her ex, but when she learns about his clandestine relationship with Chrissie, tragedy strikes.
8x10 - The Long Goodbye
December 20, 2005
Owen brings Katie to work to see the counsellor, as he is worried she is becoming too withdrawn. He also makes plans to spend Christmas with Chrissie, but when he overhears his daughter talking to Diane, he realises he must be clear about where his priorities lie. Amy is brought in for treatment following her miscarriage, and Nigel announces his intention to take legal action. However, Roz is beginning to suspect the truth about her husband.
8x11 - Deny Thy Father (2)
December 27, 2005
Part two of a Casualty@Holby City crossover. For part one, see Casualty S20E17.
8x12 - Mother Love
January 3, 2006
Two medics apply for the registrar's position, and Connie sees an opportunity to advance her own career when she learns one of the candidates has a very influential father (guest star Ronald Pickup). Mickie is offered a job as a nurse, but her mother urges her not to take it. Mark and Tricia reminisce about old times while treating a patient - but when it emerges that the woman was raped, bad memories come flooding back.
8x13 - Pride Before a Fall
January 10, 2006
Ric has plenty of problems on his hands as the new ward opens - the thermostat breaks down and he is forced to take charge of an operation personally. Diane and Chrissie get into a heated argument over Owen in front of a patient, while Donna applies for a new job. However, she is surprised to learn Mickie has already been appointed, and wonders why she didn't say anything.
8x14 - Yesterday Once More
January 17, 2006
Frank's life insurance company asks for his medical records, and Tricia is afraid Mark will find out her secret. Despite her best efforts to cover things up, she is ultimately forced to confess that Chrissie is not his daughter. Jac returns to the hospital and Ric advises Diane that she should take some time off to deal with her personal problems - though she's adamant that it isn't necessary.
8x15 - Brother's Keeper
January 24, 2006
Jess returns to work after the death of her son but finds her newfound determination put to the test when young patient Archie presents with a lacerated spleen and she suspects possible child abuse. Meanwhile, Mark tries to deal with the news that Chrissie is not his daughter.
8x16 - Roots
January 31, 2006
Connie's old school boyfriend Peter Holland arrives in the emergency department with a case of rheumatic fever and reveals childhood secrets about Connie. Mark and Lola become very involved in the treatment of two young brothers who have been beaten up. Elsewhere, Mickie loses her drunk patient Liz.
8x17 - I'll Be Back
February 7, 2006
New nurse Kyla abandons a patient during a critical period and the rest of the team want answers. Meanwhile, in a bid to get Ric's support Jac and Diane go head to head in their procedures.
8x18 - Flight of the Bumblebee
February 14, 2006
Sam performs a risky operation that he has never done before - to Connie's outrage. Elliot gets a new PA, but finds she cramps his style, while Chrissie receives a variety of Valentine's gifts from a secret admirer. Paul Nicholas guest stars as a patient whose vasectomy reversal goes horribly wrong.
8x19 - Out on a Limb
February 21, 2006
Jac's determination to have Ric choose her as the new consultant has tragic consequences. Sam bends the rules again and is brought down to earth with a bump. A determined Lola fights to keep Princess at home.
8x20 - We Gave Her All Our Love
February 28, 2006
A woman comes in for a heart transplant, and Connie persuades her to accept an experimental procedure that has never been tried before. Ric leaves Nick in charge while he is at the university, but Jac does not approve of his handling of a cancer patient's treatment and a past conflict between them resurfaces.
8x21 - Into Your Own Hands
March 7, 2006
Mark gets over involved in a case which causes disastrous consequences. Meanwhile, Nick Jordan rocks Diane's world which may affect her relationship with Ric.
8x22 - Let it Shine
March 14, 2006
When Nick learns that Ric is away from Holby for the day he is determined to get one over on him. Meanwhile, Kyla learns that the best way to be a leader is to be herself.
8x23 - Leap in the Dark
March 21, 2006
Matt's parents want him discharged from hospital to be treated at home, while Mark blames himself for the stabbing. Donna flirts with a handsome physiotherapist, though Kyla warns her to stay away from him. The treatment of a heart patient causes conflict, as Connie wants to try the manufactured pump she helped develop, but Elliot is adamant a transplant is required.
8x24 - Snake in the Grass
March 28, 2006
Nick performs an unnecessary operation in his campaign for a transfer. However, when the patient's condition worsens, Jac is forced to take matters into her own hands. Matt and Dean undergo a student assessment with Lord Byrne, but may not be up to the challenge. Mark is plagued by his secrets as he treats a woman with problems similar to his own.
8x25 - Passing On
April 4, 2006
Connie is devastated when her patient collapses and there's not enough time to arrange a heart transplant. Nick tries to get Diane on his side by letting her perform a difficult procedure for the first time, while Ric talks her into taking the research position full time. Kyla brings Max to work as he is a diabetic and she is worried about his blood sugar levels.
8x26 - Quality Time
April 11, 2006
Elliot fears for his wife, who has motor neurone disease and whose health appears to be getting worse. He also regrets their decision to keep her condition a secret from Martha - not realising she knows something is up and has persuaded Joseph to help her learn the truth. Sam uncovers a family secret when he treats a boy with two mothers who is undergoing a heart transplant.
8x27 - Honesty
April 18, 2006
Ric risks his friendship with Diane in an attempt to save her from Nick Jordan's clutches. Meanwhile, Joseph finds himself in trouble at work and Matt makes a career changing decision.
8x28 - Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
April 25, 2006
Diane is determined to prove Ric wrong about Nick Jordan and a desperate Tricia tries to keep the truth from a suspicious Chrissie.
8x29 - Short Cuts
May 2, 2006
Joseph struggles to stay in control as tension builds between Nick and Ric. Donna is thrilled to have a new man in her life but can Justin really give her what she truly needs?
8x30 - Lead Us Not Into Temptation
May 9, 2006
Helena develops complications following Nick's rushed surgery, putting Diane in a difficult position when she realises the problem should have been noticed during the first operation. Sam breaks the rules to help a recovering alcoholic who needs a heart transplant after learning the patient has a young son, and Justin tries to flirt with Kyla again.
8x31 - Games of Chance
May 16, 2006
An inquest into the death of Helena Bosman throws the spotlight on Nick and Diane. Meanwhile, Sam plays a practical joke on Joseph.
8x32 - One Tender Kiss
May 23, 2006
Diane is told to work under Ric's supervision when she is blamed for Helen's death, but she is determined to clear her name and attempts to secretly record Nick confessing to his error. A new assistant general manager starts work at the hospital, and soon invites Donna to the May ball, while Matt gets a second job in the admin department to pay off his debts.
8x33 - Abracadabra
June 6, 2006
Abra supervises Diane as he covers for Ric for a fortnight, and reveals he would be keen to work at the hospital permanently - but his determination to perform an operation tempts him to bend the rules, and ruins his chances. Tricia tells Chrissie about her relationship with Mark, and decides to have her surgery moved forward.
8x34 - Invasion
June 7, 2006
Chrissie panics when Don Bosman returns to the hospital to get Helena's body and finds out her heart was donated without his consent. Dillon's condition worsens after being readmitted, leading Sam to discover he has failed to conquer his drinking habit. Meanwhile, jealousy gets the better of Kyla, who berates Justin for behaving unprofessionally after catching him flirting with Donna.
8x35 - Promises to Keep
June 29, 2006
Elliot lets his personal feelings get the better of him when Gina is re-admitted. Sam is put on report but continues to do things on his own terms - will he learn his lesson?
8x36 - The Truth Will Out
July 6, 2006
Nic Jordan steps up his campaign to get back into CT. Mark tries to save Chrissie from a painful truth, but unearths shocking news about Tricia.
8x37 - Extreme Measures
July 11, 2006
Jordan helps Connie save the day when a black tie charity dinner turns into a disaster zone. In an attempt to ingratiate himself with Kyla, Justin offers to look after Max.
8x38 - I Am Not What I Am
July 18, 2006
Matt tries to raise some money by signing up for clinical trials, after his landlord evicts him over unpaid rent , and Lola is angry when she receives a postcard from her globe-trotting daughter. Donna helps with a drugs audit, but ends up flirting with Bradley.
8x39 - Looking After Number One
July 25, 2006
Bradley outlines his cost-cutting plans for the hospital, dividing opinions among the staff, especially when he suggests they could perform more operations to earn a Ã‚Â£3million bonus. Joseph returns to the wards, but it is clear his OCD is not under control when he insists on scrubbing his hands repeatedly and fumbles a simple procedure.
8x40 - Conscience
August 1, 2006
Lola makes a drastic decision regarding baby Leeanne's care. Reg wonders if Bradley's intentions towards Donna are honourable. Jac works closely with Joseph.
8x41 - Metamorphosis
August 8, 2006
Michael faces his appeal hearing, and uses the opportunity to try to patch things up with Connie, while Sam shares a secret with Chrissie. Lola discovers Leanne's father Steve has been admitted, and becomes convinced he is a drug user.
8x42 - Team Holby
August 15, 2006
Connie's heart battles her mind as she wonders if she should stay at Holby. Mark learns to respect the way Tricia wants to handle her cancer.
8x43 - Horses to Water
August 22, 2006
Matt arrives for his first day in the hospital as a doctor, but soon realises how hard the role will be when he begins to suspect an elderly woman is being bullied by a foster child, while Elliot meets Gina when she arrives for an appointment. Reg becomes flustered when he sees Donna walking out of the staff shower, and grows increasingly jealous of her relationship with Bradley.
8x44 - Bad Blood
August 29, 2006
Matt and Donna row over Bridie's death, with both keen to blame the other, but the arrival of the nurse's grandmother visiting her boyfriend in the hospital gives the doctor a chance to offer an olive branch. Connie offers Sam a position as trainee rep as the pair grow closer, much to Chrissie's annoyance, and a patient's dad asks Lola out on a date.
8x45 - Nothing Ventured Nothing Lost
September 5, 2006
The hospital staff have their work cut out after a car pile-up, giving Kyla the chance to earn some extra money to put toward her legal fight to keep Max. After their night of passion, Connie and Sam flirt with each other despite professional disagreements as they treat an injured couple, and Mark prepares to pop the question to Tricia.
8x46 - Better the Devil You Know
September 6, 2006
Abra returns to the hospital, but Ric is not happy to be working with him - especially when he learns the surgeon has been making promises to patients that he will struggle to keep. Meanwhile, Mickie develops a crush on a patient, but is worried asking her out may harm her chances of getting into medical school.
8x47 - Star Maker
September 13, 2006
Abra tries to help a patient waiting for a transplant by offering to operate with an animal organ, despite the procedure being illegal, and asks Mickie to help him in theatre. Elliot monitors Margaret's condition as she returns from her stem cell treatment in Singapore, believing her case mirrors that of his wife, Gina.
8x48 - Just Another Day
September 19, 2006
Lola must persuade a reluctant Ric to help her to gain custody of Leanne.
8x49 - Now or Never
September 26, 2006
Tricia becomes emotional when her attempts to reunite a dying man with his drug-abusing son are too close to home, and Mark organises a rushed wedding with the ailing nurse. Matt struggles to understand why his patient won't respond to medication, questioning whether Donna administered it correctly, while Chrissie and Kyla argue over the running of the ward.
8x50 - Taking Liberties
October 3, 2006
Gina puts Connie in a difficult position when she asks her for help behind Elliot's back. Connie must then decide where her loyalties lie. Ric's skills are tested when he has to operate on an obese woman. Matt and Reg find more evidence of drug tampering.
8x51 - If the Heart Lies
October 10, 2006
Gina again asks Connie for advice. Connie feels stuck between her friendship with Elliot and her proffesional duties. After discovering some of Bradley's actions, Ric is determined to get to the bottom of the drug tampering case. Bradley decided to help out Ric.
8x52 - Moondance
October 17, 2006
Connie accompanies Gina to Switzerland for her assisted suicide, but cannot bear the thought of Elliot not being there and calls the doctor, who immediately flies over. Bradley finalises his move to St Luke's, but angers Donna by referring to her as an 'ally', and a drug-abusing patient reminds Joseph of his own problems.

8x1 - The Outsiders

8x2 - Test Your Metal/A Great Leap Forward

8x3 - Crimes and Misdemeanours

8x4 - More Equal than Others

8x5 - Butterfly Effect

8x6 - Bird on a Wire

8x7 - Learning Curve

8x8 - Comfort of Strangers

8x9 - Prometheus Unbound

8x10 - The Long Goodbye

8x11 - Deny Thy Father (2)

8x12 - Mother Love

8x13 - Pride Before a Fall

8x14 - Yesterday Once More

8x15 - Brother's Keeper

8x16 - Roots

8x17 - I'll Be Back

8x18 - Flight of the Bumblebee

8x19 - Out on a Limb

8x20 - We Gave Her All Our Love

8x21 - Into Your Own Hands

8x22 - Let it Shine

8x23 - Leap in the Dark

8x24 - Snake in the Grass

8x25 - Passing On

8x26 - Quality Time

8x27 - Honesty

8x28 - Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

8x29 - Short Cuts

8x30 - Lead Us Not Into Temptation

8x31 - Games of Chance

8x32 - One Tender Kiss

8x33 - Abracadabra

8x34 - Invasion

8x35 - Promises to Keep

8x36 - The Truth Will Out

8x37 - Extreme Measures

8x38 - I Am Not What I Am

8x39 - Looking After Number One

8x40 - Conscience

8x41 - Metamorphosis

8x42 - Team Holby

8x43 - Horses to Water

8x44 - Bad Blood

8x45 - Nothing Ventured Nothing Lost

8x46 - Better the Devil You Know

8x47 - Star Maker

8x48 - Just Another Day

8x49 - Now or Never

8x50 - Taking Liberties

8x51 - If the Heart Lies

8x52 - Moondance

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S5: Season 5

S6: Series 6

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S8: Series 8

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S11: Series 11

S12: Series 12

S13: Series 13

S14: Series 14

S15: Series 15

S16: Series 16

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S21: Series 21

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S23: Series 23