1x1 - Pilot

September 27, 2001

Schwartz longs to get Eve back following their breakup, but if he can't have her, he at least wants a date to the Cobert's party.

1x2 - Let's Go to the Videotape

October 4, 2001

Schwartz wants to be friends with Eve, but a homemade sex videotape that she wants and he can't find poses a problem.

1x3 - The Pinch Hitter

October 18, 2001

Schwartz needs to find a co-announcer for a potential gig, but the guy William pairs him with is a lush.

1x4 - Event Night

October 25, 2001

At the Cobert's party, Eve's and Emily's matchmaking plans for Schwartz and Julie, respectively, go awry.

1x6 - Roommates

December 6, 2001

Schwartz dates a woman who sees more in his relationship with Julie than he does. Meanwhile, Julie sees plenty in her tenant.

1x7 - Play-Action Fake Boyfriend

December 20, 2001

Julie begs Schwartz to pretend to be her boyfriend for her marriage-minded parents. Meanwhile, David tries to do something romantic for Emily.

1x8 - Eve's Date with Schwartz's Destiny

December 27, 2001

Schwartz plays third wheel after learning that Eve is dating an NHL bigwig. Meanwhile, David wants Emily to stop doing a British character.

1x9 - Kissing Cousin

January 3, 2002

David asks Schwartz to crush his cousin's dream of being a sportscaster, but Schwartz is so smitten with her that he can't.

1x10 - It's All in the Footwork

Schwartz dates a dancer, but there's just one problem -- he can't dance. What's worse is that he worries his two left feet will lead her to think he's clumsy in bed, too.

1x11 - Service, Schwartz (a.k.a. Service, Mr. Schwartz)

Schwartz can't seem to find the right assistant, so Gene takes it upon himself to hire Julie without consulting him. Which puts Schwartz in a bind, since Julie is incompetent, but he can't bring himself to tell her so.

1x12 - Bless Me Father, For I Have Fired You

Schwartz fires Gene as St. Pita's commercial spokesman, fearing the demographic he represents is undesirable.

1x13 - He Ain't Funny, He's My Brother

Schwartz's funnyman brother, Rick, visits, and bad blood arises when he manages to steal his job at St. Pita's.