10x116 - Hilary Swank, Jimmie Walker

April 4, 2003

Mailbag: ""Does Alan Kalter really have a twin?"" Dave points out that he does have a brother named Rick, but Alan interrupts with a chin rub. Apparently, Big Red recently discovered he has a twin sister, Denise. After catching up on lost time at a local restaurant, Alan and Denise go to his place and make out.

10x117 - Adam Sandler, The Folksmen

April 8, 2003

Dave shows a clip of Les Moonves on last night's episode of The Practice; Dave warns Steph/Monty to not ask the monkey question, but she does anyway; The Folksmen (stars of the film ""A Mighty Wind"") perform ""Old Joe's Place.""

10x118 - Lisa Marie Presley, Jamie Kennedy

April 9, 2003

Dave and Paul wonder openly what to ask Lisa Marie Presley, who is on the show tonight to promote her first solo album. Later in the show, she sings ""Lights Out.""

10x119 - Jane Krakowski, Jim Boeheim, Pete Yorn

April 14, 2003

Dave reminds us that his 56th birthday was on Saturday, but he claims it was really his 34th and CBS aged him; Dave tells a funny story about George Miller's memorial service; ""Hootie Johnson"" presents Dave with a green Masters jacket.

10x120 - Tom Brokaw, Tom Russell & Nanci Griffith

April 15, 2003

Dave announces that the Late Show (and not CNN) has the legal rights to a screen caption that reads ""Showdown: Syria""; Tony Mendez gets scolded by Daddy for abbreviating ""Dr. Phil's Words of Wisdom"" to ""Dr. Phil's Words of W"" on a cue-card; a woman who lost her luggage at JFK Airport participates in the new Hello Deli game ""What's Your Problem?"" (and she loses).

10x121 - Michael Douglas, Todd Rundgren

April 16, 2003

Dave shows footage of chaos on the streets of Baghdad that bears that striking resemblance to West Side Story; a man balancing a burning bowling ball participates in ""Is This Anything?""; Todd Rundgren performs ""Hello, It's Me"" (a song he would perform on the show again later that year).

10x122 - Anthony LaPaglia, Brian Regan, The Exies

April 17, 2003

Dave congratulates cameraman Dave Dorsett on fifty years in the biz; during Mailbag, a viewer asks why Dave doesn't throw stuff off the roof anymore, resulting in a flashback where Paul and his office supplies are thrown onto 53rd Street; The Exies perform ""My Goddess.""

10x123 - Ashton Kutcher, Jack Hanna

April 28, 2003

Due to today's weather, Dave raises the temperature inside the theater from 53 to 57 degrees; Dave comments on the Iraqi playing cards, then points out that Mickey Rooney is the 8 of diamonds; Jack Hanna brings two emus and an oryx (an African antelope) onstage.

10x124 - Ellen DeGeneres, John Malkovich

April 29, 2003

Sam Moore sits in again; Carmen Rasmussen of ""American Idol"" presents the Top Ten; John Malkovich promotes his new clothing line.

10x125 - Charlize Theron, Sue Johanson, Minus 5 with Wilco

April 30, 2003

An Iraqi Republican guard that bears more than a passing resemblance to a dazed Calvert walks by Dave right after the monologue; Dave attempts to make ""Wash it, gas it, give me the keys"" his new catchphrase; Lily Chin (the world's fastest crocheter) makes Dave half of a sweater; The Minus 5 and Wilco join together to perform ""The Town That Lost Its Groove Supply.""

10x126 - Bernie Mac, Amanda Peet

May 1, 2003

Mailbag: ""Whatever happened to the bear that mauled Alan Kalter?"" According to VH1's Where Are They Now?, the bear was fired for stealing a monitor in 1999, but he rebounded and now works in middle management for Oglivy & Mather. Dave invites the bear in to take a bow, and he runs over towards Alan in a frightening pose, then backs off and walks offstage. Also, Pulitzer Prize winner Robert A. Caro presents the Top Ten.

10x127 - Halle Berry, Don Rickles

May 2, 2003

Dave has Kentucky Derby announcer Dave Johnson on the phone so he can hear him say, ""…and down the stretch they come!""; the latest ""Rejected FDA Items"" include baloney playing cards; Don Rickles does stand-up.

10x128 - Kelly Rippa, Good Charlotte

May 5, 2003

Prompted by an audience member's request the week before, Pat, Steph/Monty, and a new employee throw stuff off the roof throughout the show for the first time since 1998; Dave meets Christy Smith, the first disabled contestant to appear on ""Survivor"" (she's hearing-impaired).

10x129 - Stupid Human Tricks, Hugh Jackson, Kelly Clarkson

May 6, 2003

Dave shows off his regular coffee mug, then a mug given to him by Dr. Phil that's almost twice that size, then the new, even larger Late Show mug; during ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a man puts pennies up his nose with his tongue; Kelly Clarkson sings ""Miss Independent.""

10x130 - David Hyde Pierce, Rube Goldberg Contest Winners, Ziggy Marley

May 7, 2003

A staffer dressed as Nightcrawler from the ""X-Men"" movies tries to hail a cab, but ends up on a rickshaw; Joe Lieberman presents the Top Ten; Ziggy Marley performs ""True to Myself.""

10x131 - Megan Mullally, Marilyn Manson

May 8, 2003

During Mailbag, Biff answers yet another question about his headset by unsuccessfully attempting to seduce the author of the letter; ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy) present the Top Ten; Marilyn Manson discusses painting with watercolors and later hangs out in the green room with the mothers.

10x132 - Albert Brooks, Jeffery Ross, The Libertines

May 9, 2003

Dave shows a CBS promo for ""Saddam Week""; a box of fish sticks and a bottle of perfume are subjected to a rare ""Will It Float?"" doubleheader; Albert Brooks promotes Finding Nemo and pretends to complain about his woes.

10x133 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Kevin James, Jenna Morasca

May 12, 2003

A high school senior in Jersey decides on his prom tuxedo, and ends up choosing a powder blue leisure suit; during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" a pink poodle sorts out blocks of different shapes; Survivor: Amazon winner Jenna Morasca is interrogated on all fronts, with burning questions from Dave, Paul, Rupert, and Monty.

10x134 - David Williams & Ronald Young, Jada Pinkett Smith, The Jayhawks

May 13, 2003

Dave reads the new disclaimer on the New York Times (""Not all articles are factual""); Chief Warrant Officers David Williams and Ronald Young, Jr. tell their incredible story of survival as Iraqi POWs; Jada Pinkett Smith promotes The Matrix Reloaded.

10x135 - Sean Hayes, Eric Ripert, Avril Lavigne

May 14, 2003

Biff walks the streets of New York City looking for celebrities, or, for that matter, celebrity lookalikes; during a cooking segment with Eric Ripert, Dave slings back a bottle of Jack Daniels; Avril Lavigne performs ""Losing Grip.""

10x136 - Rene Zellweger, Jack Johnson

May 15, 2003

Dave hypes some of the new shows that will be appearing on the networks this fall; Rupert Jee lets off a little steam on ""CBS Mailbag;"" Jack Johnson performs ""The Horizon Has Been Defeated.""

10x137 - John Goodman, D.H. Hughley, NAS with Alicia Keys

May 16, 2003

John Goodman discusses his ""promotion"" to President on The West Wing; Johnny Knoxville delivers Paul's cape; Nas and Alicia Keys perform ""Warrior Song.""

10x138 - Mark Wahlberg, Jesse James, the Sounds

May 19, 2003

Dave does the ""Charts and Graphs"" segment for the first time in over a year; Mark Wahlberg talks about his girlfriend, unborn child, and new house; The Sounds perform ""Seven Days a Week.""

10x139 - Jim Carrey, Chevelle

May 20, 2003

After Dave makes a joke about CBS' recent miniseries about Adolf Hitler, Paul and the band plays ""Danke Schoen;"" a woman is given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to call, and then hang up on Regis; Alan has a few words to say about ""American Idol;"" Jim Carrey shows off his idea for a reality show; Chevelle performs ""Send The Pain Below.""

10x140 - Regis Philbin, 3 Doors Down

May 21, 2003

Dave shows off the latest oversized Late Show mug; Regis admits his contempt for last night's comedy bit at Hello Deli; 3 Doors Down performs ""The Road I'm On.""

10x141 - Antonio Banderas, Heidi Klum, Liam Lynch

May 22, 2003

Dave announces that the unwieldy-huge Late Show mug that debuted last night is available for parties, and Dave attempts to sip some coffee out of it; Liam Lynch performs his novelty hit ""United States of Whatever.""

10x142 - Peter Krause, Jim Gaffigan, Widespread Panic

May 23, 2003

Throughout the night, Biff assembles a Weber Grill in the lobby; half the audience is comprised of sailors; Kareem Abdul-Jabbar delivers Paul's cape.

10x143 - Adrien Brody, Gil de Ferran, John Mellencamp

June 2, 2003

In honor of a recent Team Rahal victory, Dave makes car noises; Steph/Monty discusses last weekend's Indianapolis 500 via telephone; ""What's on the Barbeque"" finds Biff trying to guess what type of meat is being cooked on the grill built last week on the show; Dave tries to persuade tonight's guests to also make engine noises.

10x144 - Alec Baldwin, Tom Dreesen

June 3, 2003

Tisziji Munoz (a mentor of Paul's) sits in on guitar; Rupert and a Long Island girl play ""Stop the Slicer""; Alan introduces a video montage of what are intended to be various celebrities, but Dave criticizes him and Alan starts sobbing; Alec Baldwin tells an amusing story about his hypochondria.

10x145 - Seth Green, Amy Sedaris, Lucinda Williams

June 4, 2003

Dave mentions that Tom Arnold will be filling in for him Friday night; staffer Eddie Valk participates in ""Can a Guy in a Horse Suit Get into FlashDancers?"" After successfully enter the nudie bar, Eddie then attempts to hail a taxi but ends up annoying passerby.

10x146 - Barbara Walters, Tanya Streeter

June 5, 2003

Dave and Paul discuss skin diving; Dave makes the new Hillary Clinton memoirs the butt of several jokes; Seth Green promotes The Italian Job.

10x147 - Tom Arnold, Darrell Hammond, Karolina Kurkova, Eddie Brill, Train

June 6, 2003

Tom Arnold fills in for Dave as he takes yet another night off. Later on, Tom welcomes longtime ""SNL"" cast member Darrell Hammond and rock group Train.

10x148 - Juliette Binoche, Joe Queenan, Blur

June 9, 2003

Dave talks about a weekend onion-slicing accident involving his pinky, which results in a medical procedure live on stage.

10x149 - Bruce Willis, Chris Moneymaker

June 10, 2003

Dave and Paul play ""Millionaire or Kenny?"" Later, Barbara Gaines (making a rare on-camera appearance) receives a surprise birthday cake; Bruce Willis shows off his new hairdo.

10x150 - Lauren Graham, Marv Albert, Bright Eyes

June 11, 2003

Lauren Graham talks about her recent real estate acquisition; Marv Albert shows some of his favorite bloopers.

10x151 - Harrison Ford, Annie Lennox

June 12, 2003

On ""CBS Mailbag,"" Alan Kalter is beaten up by leprechauns, plus Dave welcomes Harrison Ford, which gives him the chance to rehash a favorite line: ""I bought my first car at ""Harrison Ford!""

10x152 - Tom Green, Jolene Blalock, Scott Stevens, Isaac Britty, Damien Rice

June 13, 2003

Host Tom Green (an Ottawa Senators fan) gets body-checked by Scott Stevens of the rival New Jersey Devils. Also, comedian Isaac Witty and singer-songwriter Damien Rice make their respective network television debuts.

10x153 - Hilary Clinton, Emmylou Harris

June 16, 2003

Dave celebrates an important milestone; Biff Henderson goes to a senior prom in New Jersey; Dave chats with Hillary Clinton.

10x154 - Rob Reiner, Paul Teutul Sr. & Jr., The New Pornographers

June 17, 2003

Rupert and Dave play ""Name That Baldwin""; Rob Reiner brags about his recent weight loss; Paul Teutel and Paul Teutel Jr. of the cable reality show American Chopper demonstrate their knack for building motorcycles.

10x155 - Johnny Depp, Christine Todd Whitman, B.B. King

June 18, 2003

B.B. King sits in with the band; Biff teaches Dave how to ride a Segway; ""Dr. William Gammons"" gives the audience advice on monkeypox.

10x156 - Sarah Jessica Parker, The Dead

June 19, 2003

10x157 - Kelsey Grammer, Treat Williams, James Earl Jones, Jamie Lynn-Sigler, Kathleen Madigan, Jesse Malin

June 20, 2003

Kelsey Grammer (aka Frasier Crane) talks about his 20-month-old daughter, then chats with fellow deep-voiced thespian James Earl Jones.

10x158 - Demi Moore, Verbana

June 23, 2003

Demi Moore promotes her new movie ""Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle,"" her first major studio movie in six years. Later, Dave welcomes singer-songwriter Michelle Branch.

10x159 - Drew Barrymore, Simon Cowell

June 24, 2003

Drew Barrymore promotes her new movie; Simon Cowell of ""American Idol"" fame talks about his new reality show ""Cupid.""

10x160 - Lucy Liu, Avigayil Wardein, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

June 25, 2003

During ""Who Asked For It?,"" Alan uses CPR as an excuse to make out with an audience member; Dave makes his first PA announcement in almost four years, telling the crowd outside the theater that they're about to be hosed with ""Mountain Dew"" (water); Dave chats with a six-year-old girl from Florida who ran a controversial lemonade stand.

10x161 - Piedmont Bird Callers, Luke Wilson, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

June 26, 2003

Dave talks about his recent trip to the dentist. Later, Stephanie ""Monty"" Birkett dresses up as a princess for ""CBS Mailbag.""

10x162 - Jimmy Fallon, Kristanna Loken, Dax, Chloe Sevigny, Bill Scheft, Rufus Wainwright

June 27, 2003

Jimmy Fallon of ""SNL"" fame sings an original composition about December-May relationships. Later, he chats with Chloe Sevigny and ""Late Show"" writer Bill Scheft.

10x163 - Lisa Marie Presley, Ryan Pinkston

July 14, 2003

Dave half-jokingly announces his candidacy for Ohio's seat in the US Senate, then flirts with Lisa Marie Presley.

10x164 - Allison Janney, Nigella Lawson, Howard Tate

July 15, 2003

George Clarke and Dave play ""Would You Like To Ride In Our Freight Elevator?"" Later, Dave welcomes an elderly (if not faithful) fan who made it to the audience after watching the show every night for 15 years.

10x165 - Barry Zito, Mandy Moore, Grandaddy

July 16, 2003

Cy Young Award-winning pitcher Barry Zito stands on the roof of the Broadway Theater, throwing baseballs at the Ed Sullivan Theater windows. Later, Grandaddy performs ""Now It's On.""

10x167 - Jeff Bridges, Alan Harvey, Joseph Arthur

July 18, 2003

Dave ventures into the audience for yet another round of ""Know Your Current Events;"" Jeff Bridges promotes the movie ""Seabiscuit.""

10x168 - Aron Ralston, Tobey Maguire

July 21, 2003

Dave chats with Aron Ralston, the mountain climber who had to amputate his own arm following a climbing accident.

10x169 - National Hollerin' Champions, Kristin Davis, Jane's Addiction

July 22, 2003

In honor of one of this summer's biggest blockbusters, Dave plays ""How Many Guys In Pirate Costumes Can Fit Into a Sandwich Shop?"" Later, Jane's Addiction performs ""Just Because.""

10x170 - Joaquin Phoenix, Blues Traveler

July 23, 2003

Following last night's performance by Jane's Addiction, ""Mr. S"" (Paul) hires backup dancers for the CBS Orchestra; Osama offers condolences to Saddam; Ten baseball greats present a special Top Ten about the perks of being in the Hall of Fame.

10x171 - Sylvester Stallone, Ben Curtis

July 24, 2003

Stephanie, dressed as a jockey, counts off the letters for ""CBS Mailbag."" (Her horse has its own way of signifying ""number two."") Later, British Open champion Ben Curtis shoots golf balls off the roof of the theater.

10x172 - Denis Leary, Queens of the Stone Age

July 25, 2003

Dave wants to know if the 500 feet of co-axial cable being used in tonight's ""Will It Float?"" is coiled or not. When he finds out that it is coiled, he demands it to be uncoiled. Later, Queens of the Stone Age perform their hit ""Go With The Flow.""

10x173 - Jesse Grabow, Jason Biggs, Robert C. Nichol

July 28, 2003

Dave meets a six-year-old bowling phenom; Jason Biggs promotes the movie ""American Wedding.""

10x174 - Eugene Levy, Eels

July 29, 2003

Pete Fatovich serenades Dave on the accordion; Rupert goes water skiing; Eugene Levy and Paul look back on their long friendship.

10x175 - Seann William Scott, Jonathan Ames, Fountains of Wayne

July 30, 2003

As a tribute to George Miller, Dave repeatedly uses his favorite catch phrase, ""In my pants!"" Meanwhile, a commercial that Dave taped reveals that California governor Gray Davis once beat a man to death with a crowbar in a convinence store.

10x176 - Melanie Griffith, Pamela Reed

July 31, 2003

Dave thinks somebody is ""monkeying"" with his chair; Stephanie dresses up as a mountie; Alan debuts his new show ""You're Busted!"" during CBS Mailbag.

10x177 - Naomi Watts, Jeff Stilson, O.A.R.

August 1, 2003

A man on fire rushes upon the stage, and Dave struggles to put out the flames. Later, Naomi Watts talks about her dog, which she has named Bob.

10x178 - Kate Hudson, Cast of Camp

August 4, 2003

A barbershop quartet interrupts Dave during the monologue; Biff plays DH for the Brockton Rox baseball team; Alan has a special message for Liza Minelli.

10x179 - Colin Farrell, Robert Randolph & The Family Band

August 5, 2003

Rupert and George Clarke square off to see who can eat the most raw oysters. Later, Colin Farrell promotes the movie ""S.W.A.T.""

10x180 - Samuel L. Jackson, Rick Reilly, Pharrell with Clipse

August 6, 2003

Dave and Paul play ""Referee or Foot Locker Employee?""; Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly talks about a lifetime of experiences as a celebrity golf caddy.

10x181 - Brittany Murphy, Carey Hart, Dashboard Confessional

August 7, 2003

Motocross ""badass"" Carey Hart does a few stunts on 53rd St.; Stephanie dons a Little Bo Peep get-up for ""CBS Mailbag;"" ""Arnold Schwarzenegger"" (Gerard) drops by; Brittany Murphy promotes ""Uptown Girls"" (and gets in a few good-natured rips on former beau Ashton Kutcher); Dashboard Confessional sings.

10x182 - David Duchovny, Brett Butler, The New Amsterdams

August 8, 2003

A pair of buglers interrupt the monologue; David Duchovny talks about how he is unintentionally scaring his daughter; The New Amsterdams perform ""Spoils of the Spoiled.""

10x183 - Chris Rock, The Star Spangles

August 25, 2003

""Grinder Girl"" Kiva Kahl fills in tonight for the Late Show Dancers; Chris Rock talks about his upcoming gig as host of the MTV Video Music Awards; The Star Spangles perform.

10x184 - Bill Murray, Pete Sampras

August 26, 2003

Rupert selects a contestant for ""Stop The Slicer;"" Bill Murrays shows off his look and plugs ""Lost In Translation;"" Pete Sampras discusses his recent retirement.

10x185 - David Spade, Bob Sarlatte, Maroon 5

August 27, 2003

Venus and Serena Williams present a special Top Ten list. Later, David Spade promotes ""Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star.""

10x186 - Tony Hawk, John McEnroe, Rooney

August 28, 2003

During CBS Mailbag, Stephanie dons a kilt, while it is revealed that George Clarke resorted to cannibalism during the big blackout two weeks ago. Later, Rooney performs ""I'm Trying.""

10x187 - Bonnie Hunt, Don Gavin

August 29, 2003