10x1 - Amanda Peet, Tom Dreesen

September 3, 2002

Dave mentions that a street is being named after Paul in his hometown of Thunder Bay, Ontario. Later, Dave plays ""How Many Guys in Alien Suits Can Fit Into a Coffee Shop?""

10x2 - Jeff Goldblum, George Miller

September 4, 2002

Dave shows a promo for Al Jazzera's new show ""Afghani Idol;"" Dave calls Paul a half-wit, then apologizes several times; George Miller comments on frozen cryogenics and asks, ""What if the person froze to death?""

10x3 - Drea de Matteo, Sarah Vowell, The Doves

September 5, 2002

Steph/Monty is on the roof with binoculars, looking for Bon Jovi performing in Times Square. Later, another one of Dave's assistants applies sunscreen on our weary voyeur.

10x4 - Peter Jennings, John Witherspoon

September 6, 2002

During CBS Mailbag, a viewer asks how Biff chose where to go during his summer tour. Biff responds by thanking ""Rand"" and ""McNally,"" who turn out to be a couple of much younger women that he's sleeping with.

10x5 - John McEnroe, Piper Perabo, Queens of the Stone Age

September 9, 2002

Dave shows a (supposed) clip from the hit movie ""SwimFan,"" then chats with Stephanie about the US Open.

10x6 - Jennifer Esposito, Marianne Faithful

September 10, 2002

Dave introduces the man that supposedly punched David Wells; Rupert's Paul Shaffer sandwich beats Europa Cafe's basil chicken sandwich in a taste contest; ""Dr."" Bill DeLace addresses the West Nile Virus.

10x7 - Bill Clinton, Nanci Griffith

September 11, 2002

Dave reflects on a certain one-year anniversary, then chats with his former monologue punching bag, President Bill Clinton.

10x8 - Regis Philbin, Linda Thompson

September 12, 2002

Dave announces the show can no longer be seen in Mexico City; Dave introduces Network Time Killers such as ""Korean Soap Opera Clip of the Night"" and ""Anton Fig's Beret of Mystery""; a dry wall joint sealer is tonight's mystery gadget on ""What the Hell Is It?""

10x9 - Megan Mullally, Rich Hall

September 13, 2002

Dave announces that any cell phones that go off during the taping will be smashed with a hammer; ""Dr. Phil"" (Gerard) tells Dave that he's deeply insane; Rich Hall comments on ""Hollywood's Nicest Couple.""

10x10 - Bruce Willis, Eve

September 23, 2002

After watching Oprah win the Bob Hope Award at last night's Emmys; Dave demands to win it in 2003; Dave gives Barbara Gaines a kiss for her heartfelt speech at last night's ceremony (five-peat!); Biff visits the set of ""CSI: Miami.""

10x11 - Jack Hanna, Tom Cavanagh, Civil War Reenactment

September 24, 2002

In observance of an incedent that occured at a White Sox-Royals game the previous week, two shirtless drunks beat the crap out of Alan. Later, a Civil War battle is awkwardly recreated on 53rd Street.

10x12 - Reese Witherspoon, Juan Montoya, India.Arie

September 25, 2002

During the annual ""New for Fall"" segment, Alan's hair changes color. Later in the same segment, he is beaten up by Harvey Keitel.

10x13 - Rose McGowan, Phillipe Petit

September 26, 2002

Artiste Phillipe Petit walks on a metal cable 12 stories up and 120 feet long across Broadway.

10x14 - Lauren Graham, Colin Quinn

September 27, 2002

Dave announces that he has ""nitrogen narcosis."" Later, during CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin recalls his harrowing experience of being stuck in an elevator for three hours... with Regis!

10x15 - Patricia Heaton, Murray Walker

September 30, 2002

Dave hollers about being the only person in the entire building who wasn't invited to a staff fondue party for Mary Barclay; billards champ Jeanette ""Black Widow"" Lee does a few trick shots; Patricia Heaton and Murray Walker promote their autobiographies.

10x16 - David Schwimmer, Avril Lavigne

October 1, 2002

Dave reminds the nation that he still definitely wants I-465 (the interstate around Indianapolis) named David Letterman Expressway, then announces that tomorrow he plans to offer the mayor of Indianapolis an enormous bribe to get the wheels turning. Later, Avril Lavigne sings ""SK8ER BOI.""

10x17 - Anthony LaPaglia, Effie Nielson, Clinic

October 2, 2002

Biff celebrates his 56th birthday in grand style; Dave kills a bug on his desk; Dave chats with a nonogenarian weightlifter.

10x18 - Edward Norton, John Mayer

October 3, 2002

Dave contacts Indianapolis mayor Bart Peterson's office via telephone, and his assistant tells him that renaming the I-465 is a possibility. Later, John Mayer sang ""Your Body is a Wonderland.""

10x19 - David Arquette, Todd Lynn

October 4, 2002

Dave says he is feeling ""bilious,"" and that he will be going to an anger management course in Pennsylvania this weekend; during CBS Mailbag, Kenny professes his love to Pat on an episode of ""Trading Spaces""; Jimmy Fallon offers Paul a cape for his weekly breakdown.

10x20 - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers

October 7, 2002

53rd Street is the stage for the Purina® Dog Chow diving competition; Dave has choice words for Don Hewitt, who disliked a ""60 Minutes"" joke from last friday's show; Dave shows ""Rejected FDA Items"" such as Elmer's® glue with ten essential vitamins and minerals, ""Goat-umms®,"" and Tums® Spicy Jalapeño; Steph/Monty takes a plunge into the doggie water.

10x21 - John McCain, David Sedaris

October 8, 2002

A recurring joke for the night (which involved an ice ball called Quaoar) is botched when Harold Larkin disappears; Senator John McCain plugs his new book ""Worth the Fighting For""; David Sedaris stands at a little podium and reads one of his hilarious essays.

10x22 - Charles Barkley, Franco Zeffirelli, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

October 9, 2002

Tonight's desk time begins with trouble. A housefly is buzzing Dave, then lands on a guest chair. Dave takes a swat at it and declares ""Late Show"" a no-fly zone. Later, George Clarke is caught consuming glue.

10x23 - Michelle Pfeiffer, Bon Jovi

October 10, 2002

America's fastest-growing whoop-tee-do, ""Stump the Band,"" has the CBS Orchestra so excited that Paul is doing his horrible Carnac impression again. Later, Michelle Pheiffer promotes ""White Oleander.""

10x24 - Johnny Knoxville, Ron White

October 11, 2002

During CBS Mailbag, someone asks ""Who is the smartest person on the Late Show staff?"" Dave points out that Late Show Film Coordinator Rick ""Shecky"" Scheckman is very well-read. George Clarke interrupts to make his case, but Dave isn't buying it. Shortly afterwards, George picks up an armload of library books, then drops them from a window onto Shecky on the street. Shecky kicks the bucket.

10x25 - Debra Messing, Pink

October 14, 2002

Dave shows a newspaper ad from Indy for the Dancers Showclub, instructing guests to take 12B off the ""Dave Letterman Expressway."" He thanks them by promoting the nudie club near the end of the show. Also, Pink sings ""Family Portrait.""

10x26 - Thandie Newton, Faith Hill

October 15, 2002

Dave announces he's been named the 17th-most-powerful person in show business; Don Rickles' torso is the supposed mystery scan on the ""Late Show Celebrity X-Ray Challenge""; Faith Hill discusses her five-year-old daughter's love of Aerosmith.

10x27 - Rudolph Giuliani, Naomi Watts

October 16, 2002

Dave walks around during the monologue; Sam Moore (of Sam & Dave fame) sits in; a giant rat flies over New York City; Naomi Watts promotes ‘The Ring.""

10x28 - Samuel L. Jackson, Santana & Michelle Branch

October 17, 2002

According to Dave, scientists have discovered a massive black hole at the center of our Milky Way galaxy. Head carpenter Harold Larkin is good enough to open the side stage door so we can have a look. The black hole sucks Harold's pants off. Later, Alan professes his love for the Anaheim Angels' Rally Monkey.

10x29 - P. Diddy, Eddie Brill

October 18, 2002

During CBS Mailbag, George Clarke receives a mint-flavored flu shot, and we learn where the blue index cards go after each show (the furnace). Later, Late Show warm-up comedian Eddie Brill does standup.

10x31 - Salma Hayek, Tori Amos

October 29, 2002

Intuitive Deborah Lynn ready for another dismal failure in ""Psychic Sandwich""; Dave looks at a Cooking Light magazine for some unexplained reason; Salma Hayek promotes ""Frida.""

10x32 - Warren Zevon

October 30, 2002

It's a somber and bittersweet night as Dave brings out longtime friend Warren Zevon as his only guest. Zevon was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, and the second half of the episode is just him performing. -- heystu

10x33 - Jerry Seinfeld, Foo Fighters

October 31, 2002

Amongst this year's ""New Halloween Costumes:"" Dr. Phil, a ""Marlboro Grocery Check-Out order divider,"" and a trio of Saddam Hussein doubles. Plus, ten drill instructors present the Top Ten, Jerry Seinfeld comments on terrorism, and Foo Fighters perform ""All My Life.""

10x34 - Don Rickles, Jim Gaffigan

November 1, 2002

During CBS Mailbag, George Clarke explains why breakfast is the most important meal of the day, while Dave has an exclusive interview with ""Lizzie Grubman"" (actually Gerard Mulligan). Later, Dave welcomes his old buddy Don Rickles.

10x35 - Stupid Human Tricks, Sean Hayes, Willie Nelson & Ryan Adams

November 4, 2002

During ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a couple from Chicago switches underwear with each other without taking off their clothes; former Mets manager Bobby Valentine presents the Top Ten; Sean Hayes of ""Will & Grace"" fame plugs the TV biopic ""Martin & Lewis.""

10x36 - Julianne Moore, Grant Paulsen, Blind Boys of Alabama

November 6, 2002

Dave shows (bogus) footage of Bill Clinton accepting the nomination for a third term in office; Julianne Moore plugs ""Far From Heaven""; 14-year-old sports journalist Grant Paulson gives his two cents about current events.

10x37 - Kid Inventors, Tom Brokaw, The Wallflowers

November 7, 2002

Dave accuses Indianapolis mayor Bart Peterson of letting the expressway thing go through, and then makes an ultimatum. Later, a ""Kid Inventor"" from Tampa demonstrates her ""Easy Fill Garbage Bag System.""

10x38 - Brittany Murphy, Al Lubel

November 8, 2002

During Mailbag, James Jackson ""Biff"" Henderson ""answers"" a question about his name by standing around with the Hi-Ho girls; Dave points out that this his 1900th episode on CBS, give or take a special; legendary TV director and fashion model Hal Gurnee brings Paul his cape.

10x39 - Robin Williams, Emily Proctor

November 11, 2002

Steph/Monty analyzes the recent election; Robin Williams promotes his ""Live on Broadway"" CD; ten astronauts present the Top Ten.

10x40 - Kelly Ripa, Emmitt Smith, Missy Elliott

November 12, 2002

Dave apologizes to his Broadway neighbors for setting off fireworks the previous night; Dave points out that in Europe, the name of Eminem's new movie is ""12.875 Kilometer""; Missy Elliott performs ""Work It.""

10x41 - Barbara Walters, Joe Pantoliano

November 13, 2002

Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits sits in; Joe Pantoliano plugs his new book; amongst the potential bestsellers coming out this Christmas: More Advice I Pulled Out of My Ass by Dr. Phil.

10x42 - Maggie Gyllenhaal, Pearl Jam

November 14, 2002

During a timeline of a day in the life of Saddam Hussein, we learn that Iraqi People Weekly has named him ""Sexiest Man Alive"" for the tenth straight year. Also, Pat and Kenny read another Oprah transcript, this time with Kenny playing an overexcited Goldie Hawn.

10x43 - Al Gore, Pearl Jam

November 15, 2002

CBS Mailbag: A viewer asks, ""How would New York City be different if you were mayor?"" We then go outside to where two police officers are cracking down on a parking violator. His punishment? He has to sit in the Late Show audience.

10x44 - Kevin James, matchbox 20

November 18, 2002

The entire audience for tonight's show is from Schoharie, New York. In honor of his generosity, the street that goes to the local sewer plant has been renamed ""David Letterman Lane."" Also, ""Biff Henderson's America"" visits Schoharie, the mayor of the village presents the Top Ten, and matchbox twenty performs ""Disease.""

10x45 - Shania Twain, Cristiano da Matta

November 19, 2002

Dave asks Harold Larkin if he watched the Lenoid Meteor Shower last night. He then opens the exit next to the stage, where, with the magic of green-screen, the moon explodes. Also, Shania Twain sings ""I'm Gonna Getcha Good!""

10x46 - Adam Sandler, Pussycat Dolls

November 20, 2002

Adam Sandler expresses a desire to hang out with Dave. Also, the Pussycat Dolls burlesque troupe performs with special guest Carmen Electra.

10x47 - Ice Cube, Cast of Hairspray

November 21, 2002

Dave points out that a doctor in England recently did an autopsy for a paying audience. Cut to George Clarke, in the boiler room, who by coincidence is also conducting an autopsy... on a chicken. George is unable to determine the cause of death, but the corpse sure is tasty!

10x48 - Harry Connick Jr., Larry Miller

November 22, 2002

During Mailbag, a viewer asks if Biff ever takes off his headset. Dave spins the query by asking what he listens to on those things. Biff then removes the headset and puts it up to the boom microphone. We can hear the opening theme and intro of Jay Leno's show. Biff quickly adds, ""I only listen to the monologue.""

10x49 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Lisa Kudrow, Audioslave

November 25, 2002

Lisa Kudrow promotes ""Analyze That"" while Audioslave brings the house down (almost literally) with a scorching rendition of ""Cochise.""

10x50 - George Clooney, Jack Hanna

November 26, 2002

Production staff member Eddie Valk tries to answer the question, ""Can a Guy in a Turkey Suit Hail a Cab?"" Apparently not. Later, Steph/Monty grills George Clooney about his nude scene in the film ""Solaris.""

10x51 - Ray Romano, Jurassic 5

November 27, 2002

Dave rants about a false alarm on a New York City blizzard; amongst the potential bestselling gifts for Christmas is a futuristic clock that tells the time one hour in the future; Bill DeLace presents ""Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear in a Supermarket.""

10x52 - Amy Sedaris, The Strokes

November 28, 2002

For Thanksgiving, Marv Albert sits at Dorothy's kitchen table, eagerly anticipating one of her world-famous pies. Also, The Strokes perform ""Someday.""

10x53 - Liza Minnelli, Jann Karam

November 29, 2002

During Mailbag, Dave mentions that he's been a very good boy this year and that he wants a John Deere riding mower for Christmas. Also, comedian Jann Karam talks about her boyfriend.

10x54 - Jennifer Lopez, Sum 41

December 9, 2002

A giant rat knocks over the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center; during ""Stephanie Birkett, Official Pollster,"" Dave's assistant asks a man on the street if Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is gay; Sum 41 performs ""Still Waiting.""

10x55 - Jason Alexander, Ryan Adams

December 10, 2002

10x56 - Nia Vardalos, Barry Sonnenfeld

December 11, 2002

Throughout the night, Biff attempts to build an IKEA bookshelf in the theater lobby. Despite using only the Swedish instructions and claiming ""I can't build s***,"" the bookshelf is completed by the end of the show.

10x57 - Allison Janney, Martin Scorsese

December 12, 2002

During ""KYCE,"" a cop attempts to punch Dave; Allison Janney plugs ""The Hours.""

10x58 - Natasha Richardson, Mike Birbiglia, David Gray

December 13, 2002

Dave waxes philosophy: ""I believe there isn't a man, woman, or child who doesn't enjoy a lovely beverage."" Also, comedian Mike Birbiglia makes his network television debut.

10x59 - Catherine Zeta-Jones, Coldplay

December 16, 2002

Dave repeatedly shows a ""60 Minutes"" clip showcasing Lesley Stahl's unique facial movements; as they do every year, Rupert, Joe G, Mujibur, and Sirajul decorate the Late Show Christmas Tree; Coldplay performs ""In My Place""; the giant meatball on the tree falls apart.

10x60 - Drew Barrymore, Rod Stewart

December 17, 2002

Osama and his half-awake sidekick sing ""We Wish You a Merry Christmas."" Also, Dave ponders, ""How Many Guys In Santa Suits Can Fit Into a Coffee Shop?"" By the end of the show, there are 19 Santas with beards, 5 without facial hair, and one guy dressed up as Superman standing in the shop.

10x61 - Denzel Washington, Daniel Bouloud

December 18, 2002

Greg Adams of The Tower of Power horn section sits in; Osama and his sidekick sing Christmas carols; Dave reads Daniel Boloud's cookbook.

10x62 - Tom Hanks, Phish

December 19, 2002

George Clarke takes a bath in the ""Will It Float?"" tank; the sixteen stars of ""Survivor: Thailand"" present the Top Ten; Phish performs ""All of These Dreams.""

10x63 - Liv Tyler, Jay Thomas, Darlene Love

December 20, 2002

Osama Bin Laden wishes Dave a merry christmas via video greeting card; Gerard Mulligan has something to say to Al Gore during ""CBS Mailbag;"" an annual tradition continues as Jay Thomas tries to knock the meatball of the Late Show Christmas Tree.

10x64 - Ashton Kutcher, Jason Kidd

December 26, 2002

During ""Is This Anything?,"" a man swallows a neon light sword. Dave and Paul agree that this is something, but only because of the danger involved.

10x65 - Isabella Rossellini, Mort Sahl

December 27, 2002

10x66 - Michael Caine, George Foreman

January 6, 2003

Dave shows a copy of George Foreman's new book, followed by a ""Michael Caine Grill""; Stephanie dances like her unnamed ex-boyfriend to the band playing Rod Stewart's ""Do You Think I'm Sexy?""; Michael Caine promotes The Quiet American.

10x67 - Richard Gere, Chris Elliott

January 7, 2003

Dave discusses his experiences with shampooing over the years, and announces that earlier today he inadvertently conditioned before shampooing. Lo and behold, there's absolutely no difference! Also, Chris Elliott makes his twentieth-odd triumphant return to the Late Show.

10x68 - Merv Griffin, Interpol

January 8, 2003

The shirtless father and son from that White Sox-Royals game in 2002 are elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame; Merv Griffin promotes his autobiography; Interpol performs ""PDA.""

10x69 - Renee Zellweger, Chuck Barris

January 9, 2003

Ten members of the 82nd Airborne Division based in Afghanistan present the Top Ten. The soldier who presents #6 proposes to his girlfriend, who accepts via telephone. Also, today's ""Late Show Fun Fact"" reveals that Wink Martindale once beat a ""Tic-Tac-Dough"" contestant with his bare hands.

10x70 - Andy Richter, Rich Hall

January 10, 2003

Mailbag: Dave shows an ad for the mother of all reality shows, ""Bachelorette Millionaire Boat Survivor Race Factor Idol."" He also tries to make sense out of ""Rael"" (Gerard), a Quebecois cult leader who supposedly cloned the first human earlier this week. After revealing the first cloned baby is really a dog, he rebounds with ""Rael's Pigskin Pick of the Week.""

10x71 - Jimmy Kimmel, Simon Baker

January 13, 2003

Dave talks football, while Jimmy Kimmel promotes his upcoming talk show on ABC.

10x72 - Claire Danes, Bob Sarlatte

January 14, 2003

Dave announces that today is the 3rd anniversary of his quintuple bypass, and upon mentioning this, Regis interrupts the jokes to give Dave a quick check-up. ""You're screwed,"" Regis proclaims. Throughout the night, Dave reflects on the bypass, claiming he ran five miles six weeks after the bypass. Near the end of the show, Dave tells former announcer Bob Sarlette that his cholesterol is a healthy 46.

10x73 - Sandra Bullock, Marv Albert

January 15, 2003

Dave shows a bogus eulogy by the network commemorating yesterday's big anniversary; Sandra Bullock promotes Two Weeks Notice; Dave asks Biff to check the weather outside, and watches as several penguins waddle through Broadway.

10x74 - George Clooney, Soundtrack of Our Lives

January 16, 2003

CBS won't stop airing their 30-second eulogy to the ""late, great"" Dave; Dave shows a promo for the upcoming Survivor: Jihad, then wishes a happy birthday to an audience member.

10x75 - Joan Rivers, Kathleen Edwards

January 17, 2003

Mailbag: ""Who do you consider to be your best friend from the Late Show?"" Paul responds to this question by performing an original song dedicated to his best friend in the whole wide world, the man who changed his life for the better for the last twenty-one years, boom operator Al Norwood.

10x76 - Simon Cowell, Topher Grace, Vienna Teng

January 20, 2003

Osama praises ""Kangaroo Jack"" for his contempt for the infidels; Steph/Monty reviews the aforementioned movie, then makes a daring Super Bowl prediction (Bucs by 26!); ""Dwight the Troubled Teen"" (an Asian woman) vividly expresses his hatred of Alan.

10x77 - Regis Philbin, John C. Reilly

January 21, 2003

It's so cold outside, Alan's hair has turned a light shade of blue, but it turns out to be a Clairol® mishap. Also, Dave bids farewell to longtime comic foils Mujibur and Sirajul by giving them a Hoover Steamvac vacuum cleaner, and Regis talks football.

10x78 - Tina Fey, Jonathan Ames, Johnny Marr & The Healers

January 22, 2003

Alan's hair has now turned green; Paul tries to spin a ball on a parasol like the lady who appeared in tonight's ""Is This Anything?"", but fails miserably; Tina Fey promotes the Saturday Night Live (Super Bowl) Halftime Special.

10x79 - Ellen DeGeneres, Zwan

January 23, 2003

In a new, experimental segment, reporter Penny Crone contributes a ""Local News Update of the Night""; Dave admits that his friends are getting sick of ""Is This Anything?"", but he keeps on doing it anyway; Zwan performs ""Honestly.""

10x80 - Bonnie Hunt, John Witherspoon

January 24, 2003

Mailbag: George Clarke has learned to speak Italian: ""Imgana cuccia nutsoff."" Also, fertile make-up maven Michele O'Callaghan provides a cape for Paul's Friday night breakdown.