10x35 - Stupid Human Tricks, Sean Hayes, Willie Nelson & Ryan Adams

November 4, 2002

During ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a couple from Chicago switches underwear with each other without taking off their clothes; former Mets manager Bobby Valentine presents the Top Ten; Sean Hayes of ""Will & Grace"" fame plugs the TV biopic ""Martin & Lewis.""

10x36 - Julianne Moore, Grant Paulsen, Blind Boys of Alabama

November 6, 2002

Dave shows (bogus) footage of Bill Clinton accepting the nomination for a third term in office; Julianne Moore plugs ""Far From Heaven""; 14-year-old sports journalist Grant Paulson gives his two cents about current events.

10x37 - Kid Inventors, Tom Brokaw, The Wallflowers

November 7, 2002

Dave accuses Indianapolis mayor Bart Peterson of letting the expressway thing go through, and then makes an ultimatum. Later, a ""Kid Inventor"" from Tampa demonstrates her ""Easy Fill Garbage Bag System.""

10x38 - Brittany Murphy, Al Lubel

November 8, 2002

During Mailbag, James Jackson ""Biff"" Henderson ""answers"" a question about his name by standing around with the Hi-Ho girls; Dave points out that this his 1900th episode on CBS, give or take a special; legendary TV director and fashion model Hal Gurnee brings Paul his cape.

10x39 - Robin Williams, Emily Proctor

November 11, 2002

Steph/Monty analyzes the recent election; Robin Williams promotes his ""Live on Broadway"" CD; ten astronauts present the Top Ten.

10x40 - Kelly Ripa, Emmitt Smith, Missy Elliott

November 12, 2002

Dave apologizes to his Broadway neighbors for setting off fireworks the previous night; Dave points out that in Europe, the name of Eminem's new movie is ""12.875 Kilometer""; Missy Elliott performs ""Work It.""

10x41 - Barbara Walters, Joe Pantoliano

November 13, 2002

Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits sits in; Joe Pantoliano plugs his new book; amongst the potential bestsellers coming out this Christmas: More Advice I Pulled Out of My Ass by Dr. Phil.

10x42 - Maggie Gyllenhaal, Pearl Jam

November 14, 2002

During a timeline of a day in the life of Saddam Hussein, we learn that Iraqi People Weekly has named him ""Sexiest Man Alive"" for the tenth straight year. Also, Pat and Kenny read another Oprah transcript, this time with Kenny playing an overexcited Goldie Hawn.

10x43 - Al Gore, Pearl Jam

November 15, 2002

CBS Mailbag: A viewer asks, ""How would New York City be different if you were mayor?"" We then go outside to where two police officers are cracking down on a parking violator. His punishment? He has to sit in the Late Show audience.

10x44 - Kevin James, matchbox 20

November 18, 2002

The entire audience for tonight's show is from Schoharie, New York. In honor of his generosity, the street that goes to the local sewer plant has been renamed ""David Letterman Lane."" Also, ""Biff Henderson's America"" visits Schoharie, the mayor of the village presents the Top Ten, and matchbox twenty performs ""Disease.""

10x45 - Shania Twain, Cristiano da Matta

November 19, 2002

Dave asks Harold Larkin if he watched the Lenoid Meteor Shower last night. He then opens the exit next to the stage, where, with the magic of green-screen, the moon explodes. Also, Shania Twain sings ""I'm Gonna Getcha Good!""

10x46 - Adam Sandler, Pussycat Dolls

November 20, 2002

Adam Sandler expresses a desire to hang out with Dave. Also, the Pussycat Dolls burlesque troupe performs with special guest Carmen Electra.

10x47 - Ice Cube, Cast of Hairspray

November 21, 2002

Dave points out that a doctor in England recently did an autopsy for a paying audience. Cut to George Clarke, in the boiler room, who by coincidence is also conducting an autopsy... on a chicken. George is unable to determine the cause of death, but the corpse sure is tasty!

10x48 - Harry Connick Jr., Larry Miller

November 22, 2002

During Mailbag, a viewer asks if Biff ever takes off his headset. Dave spins the query by asking what he listens to on those things. Biff then removes the headset and puts it up to the boom microphone. We can hear the opening theme and intro of Jay Leno's show. Biff quickly adds, ""I only listen to the monologue.""

10x49 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Lisa Kudrow, Audioslave

November 25, 2002

Lisa Kudrow promotes ""Analyze That"" while Audioslave brings the house down (almost literally) with a scorching rendition of ""Cochise.""

10x50 - George Clooney, Jack Hanna

November 26, 2002

Production staff member Eddie Valk tries to answer the question, ""Can a Guy in a Turkey Suit Hail a Cab?"" Apparently not. Later, Steph/Monty grills George Clooney about his nude scene in the film ""Solaris.""

10x51 - Ray Romano, Jurassic 5

November 27, 2002

Dave rants about a false alarm on a New York City blizzard; amongst the potential bestselling gifts for Christmas is a futuristic clock that tells the time one hour in the future; Bill DeLace presents ""Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear in a Supermarket.""

10x52 - Amy Sedaris, The Strokes

November 28, 2002

For Thanksgiving, Marv Albert sits at Dorothy's kitchen table, eagerly anticipating one of her world-famous pies. Also, The Strokes perform ""Someday.""

10x53 - Liza Minnelli, Jann Karam

November 29, 2002

During Mailbag, Dave mentions that he's been a very good boy this year and that he wants a John Deere riding mower for Christmas. Also, comedian Jann Karam talks about her boyfriend.

10x54 - Jennifer Lopez, Sum 41

December 9, 2002

A giant rat knocks over the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center; during ""Stephanie Birkett, Official Pollster,"" Dave's assistant asks a man on the street if Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is gay; Sum 41 performs ""Still Waiting.""

10x55 - Jason Alexander, Ryan Adams

December 10, 2002

10x56 - Nia Vardalos, Barry Sonnenfeld

December 11, 2002

Throughout the night, Biff attempts to build an IKEA bookshelf in the theater lobby. Despite using only the Swedish instructions and claiming ""I can't build s***,"" the bookshelf is completed by the end of the show.

10x57 - Allison Janney, Martin Scorsese

December 12, 2002

During ""KYCE,"" a cop attempts to punch Dave; Allison Janney plugs ""The Hours.""

10x58 - Natasha Richardson, Mike Birbiglia, David Gray

December 13, 2002

Dave waxes philosophy: ""I believe there isn't a man, woman, or child who doesn't enjoy a lovely beverage."" Also, comedian Mike Birbiglia makes his network television debut.

10x59 - Catherine Zeta-Jones, Coldplay

December 16, 2002

Dave repeatedly shows a ""60 Minutes"" clip showcasing Lesley Stahl's unique facial movements; as they do every year, Rupert, Joe G, Mujibur, and Sirajul decorate the Late Show Christmas Tree; Coldplay performs ""In My Place""; the giant meatball on the tree falls apart.

10x60 - Drew Barrymore, Rod Stewart

December 17, 2002

Osama and his half-awake sidekick sing ""We Wish You a Merry Christmas."" Also, Dave ponders, ""How Many Guys In Santa Suits Can Fit Into a Coffee Shop?"" By the end of the show, there are 19 Santas with beards, 5 without facial hair, and one guy dressed up as Superman standing in the shop.

10x61 - Denzel Washington, Daniel Bouloud

December 18, 2002

Greg Adams of The Tower of Power horn section sits in; Osama and his sidekick sing Christmas carols; Dave reads Daniel Boloud's cookbook.

10x62 - Tom Hanks, Phish

December 19, 2002

George Clarke takes a bath in the ""Will It Float?"" tank; the sixteen stars of ""Survivor: Thailand"" present the Top Ten; Phish performs ""All of These Dreams.""

10x63 - Liv Tyler, Jay Thomas, Darlene Love

December 20, 2002

Osama Bin Laden wishes Dave a merry christmas via video greeting card; Gerard Mulligan has something to say to Al Gore during ""CBS Mailbag;"" an annual tradition continues as Jay Thomas tries to knock the meatball of the Late Show Christmas Tree.

10x64 - Ashton Kutcher, Jason Kidd

December 26, 2002

During ""Is This Anything?,"" a man swallows a neon light sword. Dave and Paul agree that this is something, but only because of the danger involved.

10x65 - Isabella Rossellini, Mort Sahl

December 27, 2002

10x66 - Michael Caine, George Foreman

January 6, 2003

Dave shows a copy of George Foreman's new book, followed by a ""Michael Caine Grill""; Stephanie dances like her unnamed ex-boyfriend to the band playing Rod Stewart's ""Do You Think I'm Sexy?""; Michael Caine promotes The Quiet American.

10x67 - Richard Gere, Chris Elliott

January 7, 2003

Dave discusses his experiences with shampooing over the years, and announces that earlier today he inadvertently conditioned before shampooing. Lo and behold, there's absolutely no difference! Also, Chris Elliott makes his twentieth-odd triumphant return to the Late Show.

10x68 - Merv Griffin, Interpol

January 8, 2003

The shirtless father and son from that White Sox-Royals game in 2002 are elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame; Merv Griffin promotes his autobiography; Interpol performs ""PDA.""

10x69 - Renee Zellweger, Chuck Barris

January 9, 2003

Ten members of the 82nd Airborne Division based in Afghanistan present the Top Ten. The soldier who presents #6 proposes to his girlfriend, who accepts via telephone. Also, today's ""Late Show Fun Fact"" reveals that Wink Martindale once beat a ""Tic-Tac-Dough"" contestant with his bare hands.

10x70 - Andy Richter, Rich Hall

January 10, 2003

Mailbag: Dave shows an ad for the mother of all reality shows, ""Bachelorette Millionaire Boat Survivor Race Factor Idol."" He also tries to make sense out of ""Rael"" (Gerard), a Quebecois cult leader who supposedly cloned the first human earlier this week. After revealing the first cloned baby is really a dog, he rebounds with ""Rael's Pigskin Pick of the Week.""

10x71 - Jimmy Kimmel, Simon Baker

January 13, 2003

Dave talks football, while Jimmy Kimmel promotes his upcoming talk show on ABC.

10x72 - Claire Danes, Bob Sarlatte

January 14, 2003

Dave announces that today is the 3rd anniversary of his quintuple bypass, and upon mentioning this, Regis interrupts the jokes to give Dave a quick check-up. ""You're screwed,"" Regis proclaims. Throughout the night, Dave reflects on the bypass, claiming he ran five miles six weeks after the bypass. Near the end of the show, Dave tells former announcer Bob Sarlette that his cholesterol is a healthy 46.

10x73 - Sandra Bullock, Marv Albert

January 15, 2003

Dave shows a bogus eulogy by the network commemorating yesterday's big anniversary; Sandra Bullock promotes Two Weeks Notice; Dave asks Biff to check the weather outside, and watches as several penguins waddle through Broadway.

10x74 - George Clooney, Soundtrack of Our Lives

January 16, 2003

CBS won't stop airing their 30-second eulogy to the ""late, great"" Dave; Dave shows a promo for the upcoming Survivor: Jihad, then wishes a happy birthday to an audience member.

10x75 - Joan Rivers, Kathleen Edwards

January 17, 2003

Mailbag: ""Who do you consider to be your best friend from the Late Show?"" Paul responds to this question by performing an original song dedicated to his best friend in the whole wide world, the man who changed his life for the better for the last twenty-one years, boom operator Al Norwood.

10x76 - Simon Cowell, Topher Grace, Vienna Teng

January 20, 2003

Osama praises ""Kangaroo Jack"" for his contempt for the infidels; Steph/Monty reviews the aforementioned movie, then makes a daring Super Bowl prediction (Bucs by 26!); ""Dwight the Troubled Teen"" (an Asian woman) vividly expresses his hatred of Alan.

10x77 - Regis Philbin, John C. Reilly

January 21, 2003

It's so cold outside, Alan's hair has turned a light shade of blue, but it turns out to be a Clairol® mishap. Also, Dave bids farewell to longtime comic foils Mujibur and Sirajul by giving them a Hoover Steamvac vacuum cleaner, and Regis talks football.

10x78 - Tina Fey, Jonathan Ames, Johnny Marr & The Healers

January 22, 2003

Alan's hair has now turned green; Paul tries to spin a ball on a parasol like the lady who appeared in tonight's ""Is This Anything?"", but fails miserably; Tina Fey promotes the Saturday Night Live (Super Bowl) Halftime Special.

10x79 - Ellen DeGeneres, Zwan

January 23, 2003

In a new, experimental segment, reporter Penny Crone contributes a ""Local News Update of the Night""; Dave admits that his friends are getting sick of ""Is This Anything?"", but he keeps on doing it anyway; Zwan performs ""Honestly.""

10x80 - Bonnie Hunt, John Witherspoon

January 24, 2003

Mailbag: George Clarke has learned to speak Italian: ""Imgana cuccia nutsoff."" Also, fertile make-up maven Michele O'Callaghan provides a cape for Paul's Friday night breakdown.

10x81 - Show #1944Kate Hudson, Jack Hanna

February 3, 2003

Dave congratulates Frank Comito upon the birth of his daughter; Biff reports from Super Bowl XXXVII; a capybara (a large rat) sits on Kate Hudson's head and eats a banana, with due thanks to Jack Hanna.

10x82 - Matthew McConaughey, John Gruden, The Roots

February 4, 2003

10x83 - Kelsey Grammer, Michael Tong, B.B. King and Shemeika Copeland

February 5, 2003

Upon showing off a fake invitation to Colin Powell's address to the United Nations, Dave starts singing a Paul Anka song; Alan hits on the wife of Hans Blix, and then later learns that he has just been fired and replaced.

10x84 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Tom Brokaw, The Pretenders

February 6, 2003

10x86 - Matthew Broderick, Tony Bennett & k.d. Lang

February 10, 2003

Alan is dressed as Saddam Hussein, claiming he's just trying to do his part; throughout the night, show dogs from the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show walk around the theater; Pat Farmer drinks paint; at the end of the show, Kenny Sheehan sneaks in disguised as a beagle.

10x87 - Amy Brennamen, Nate Erwin, Vince Gill

February 11, 2003

Throughout the night, Steph/Monty shops at 21 on 52nd Street.

10x88 - Queen Latifah, Colin Quinn, Lou Reed

February 12, 2003

10x89 - Kid Scientists, Kurt Russell

February 13, 2003

Steph/Monty is dressed in a kimono for ""Know Your Current Events""; Dave mentions that Dr. Phil will be on Monday, and he plans to open up a serious can of whoop-ass; Homer Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta) presents the Top Ten.

10x90 - Kate Winslet, Dennis Regan, Rufus Wainwright

February 14, 2003

Dave talks to ""Michael Jackson"" (actually Gerard) during CBS Mailbag. Later, comedian Dennis Regan rants about marriage.

10x91 - Dr. Phil, Beck

February 17, 2003

Throughout the night, Steph/Monty measures the accumulated snowfall on the roof of the theater; Daytona 500 champion Michael Waltrip presents the Top Ten; Dr. Phil makes his first-ever appearance on the Late Show, and it appears that he can take a joke; Beck performs ""Lost Cause.""

10x92 - Vince Vaughn, Sarah Vowel, Beck

February 18, 2003

A guy whose flight from LaGuardia to Atlanta was delayed by snow sits in with the band; Mayor Bloomberg presents the Top Ten; Alan wants Dwight the Troubled Teen to shovel snow.

10x93 - Kevin Spacey, Reggie Miller

February 19, 2003

Amongst the ""New Catalogs"": Crate & Barrel (with new barrel-sized crates), Starbucks Coffee by Mail, and something called ""International Monkey."" Also, Kevin Spacey does impressions of Elton John and Johnny Carson, while Alan threatens the sound engineer after a (supposed) gaffe on last night's show.

10x94 - Champion Turkey Callers, Marg Helgenberger, The Flaming Lips

February 20, 2003

In honor of tonight's Turkey Calling Champions, Dave has a swig of Wild Turkey bourbon; ""Biff Henderson's America"" makes a stop in Palomar Mountain, California, where he stands out on a ledge yelling out names of 50's-era wrestlers for an echo; The Flaming Lips perform ""Do You Realize?""

10x95 - Jeff Daniels, Lynne Cox, Steven Wright

February 21, 2003

Solomon Burke sits in; during Mailbag, Dave points out that a nudist-friendly Kinko's has opened nearby, while ""police chief"" Bill DeLace complains that Dave and Harold Larkin have run the bleeding-neck gag into the ground; Dave chats with Lynne Cox, who swam a mile to Antarctica in near-freezing water.

10x96 - Steve Martin, Foo Fighters

February 24, 2003

Dave mentions that Paul and Alan were involved with last night's Grammy Awards; Rupert asks ""non-surviving Survivor"" Janet Koth if there was any hanky-panky in the Amazon (but of course); Steve Martin shows (bogus) clips of some of his less memorable appearances on the Late Show, including dangling a baby off a third-floor balcony.

10x97 - Stupid Human Tricks, Sharon Osborne, Norah Jones

February 25, 2003

Dave mentions that he woke up this morning with a swollen eye, then hypothesizes that it's either an irritation, infection or inflammation; during ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a man juggles and removes his shirt at the same time; Norah Jones is presented with a Grammy© made out of lunch meat.

10x98 - Bruce Willis, Dan Rather, Carmen Electra, Brian Kiley

February 26, 2003

Dave's worsening eye infection puts him on the bench indefinitely, so scheduled guest Bruce Willis fills in for Daddy. Amongst tonight's highlights: Bruno and George Clarke duct tape plastic sheets on the backdrop; the ""Lean Mean EZ CD Opening Machine"" (a sledge hammer) is demonstrated; Paul interviews Bruce, then Bruce sits in with the band on harmonica; John Mayer performs ""Why Georgia.""

10x99 - John McEnroe, Tom Arnold, Eric Ripert, Todd Barry, Jason Mras

February 27, 2003

Tennis great John McEnroe fills in for Dave, whose condition has not improved; Fred Schnieder of The B-52's fills in for Paul, whom, according to Bones Malone, has an appointment with Dr. Phil; John and Tom Arnold help Eric Ripert make Black Pepper and Cognac Shrimp.

10x100 - Regis Philbin, Charles Grodin, Susan Lucci, Greg Giraldo, Kathleen Edwards

February 28, 2003

Regis fills in for Dave, who has now been diagnosed with shingles; Greg Giraldo does stand-up; Kathleen Edwards sings ""Hockey Skates.""

10x101 - Whoopi Goldberg, Jessica Lange, Dave Chappelle, Andy Vistola, Ben Harper

March 10, 2003

Whoopi Goldberg (a former talk-show host in her own right) is the latest to fill in for Dave during his extended bout with shingles. She starts the monologue by announcing that ""tonight's show is in color,"" and then points out that the CBS Orchestra was once again the house band of last weekend's Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Also, comedian Andy Vastola makes his network television debut.

10x102 - Vince Vaughn, Rosie Perez, Geri Halliwell, Dwayne Kennedy, Paul Simon

March 11, 2003

Guest host Vince Vaughn charms the audience and hits on Rosie Perez.

10x103 - Elvis Costello, Kim Cattrell, Eddie Izzard, Mitch Hedberg

March 12, 2003

10x104 - Will Ferrell, Chris Rock, Crispin Glover, Jake Johannsen, American Hi-Fi

March 13, 2003

Will Ferrell joins fellow ""Old School"" star Vince Vaughn as a guest host on Letterman. In his monolouge, Will does his famous George W. Bush impression and serenades the absent host with his version of Kenny Rogers' ""Lady."" Later on, the up and coming rock band The American Hi-Fi performs their hit ""The Art of Losing.""

10x105 - Megan Mullally, Molly Shannon, Isaac Mizrahi, Bonnie McFarlane

March 14, 2003

Will & Grace star Megan Mullally shows a clip of her tripping as she walked onstage to accept an award at last Sunday's Screen Actors Guild awards. Later, she sings a blues number called ""Guilty.""

10x106 - Brad Garrett, Cuba Gooding Jr., Julie Bowen, Reggie McFadden, Lyle Lovett

March 17, 2003

Brad Garrett of Everybody Loves Raymond fame does a very Letterman-esque, one-liner heavy monologue, then mentions a recent medical mishap where his testes broke his fall. Also, Lyle Lovett sings ""Straighten Up and Fly Right.""

10x107 - Tom Dreesen, Kiefer Sutherland, Frank Gershin, Suzanne Westenhoefer, The Music

March 18, 2003

Chicago-born comedian (and old friend of Dave's) Tom Dreseen becomes the latest fill-in host for Dave. He mentions that a fan outside the theater mistook him for Regis, then goes a spiel about his daughter's love of hip-hop. Also, lesbian comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer performs.

10x108 - Bonnie Hunt, Carson Daley, Eddie Griffin, Ron Beth-Israel, Fabolous

March 19, 2003

10x109 - Paul Schaffer, Bob Dole, Connie Nielsen, Jeff Foxworthy, Cat Power

March 24, 2003

Paul fills in for Dave, lamenting in song about the big shoes he has to fill; Mike Smith of the Dave Clark Five fills in for Paul, who later sings the band's hit ""Because""; indie rocker Cat Power makes her network television debut, and is so camera-shy she can't seem to eye contact with the audience.

10x110 - Bill Cosby, Andrew Firestone, Clark Tery, Sofia Vergara, The DA

March 25, 2003

In a bizarre running gag, Bill Cosby pretends to be so senile that a substitute cue-card boy introduces all of tonight's guests; Hilton Ruiz, Spaceman Paterson, Steve Berrios, and Andy Gonzales all sit in lieu of a temporary depleted band tonight (only Paul, Sid and Bruce bothered to show up); Sofia Vergara promotes Chasing Papi; the D4 performs ""Get Loose.""

10x111 - Luke Wilson, Kelly Preston, Taye Diggs, Hilary Burton, Seether

March 26, 2003

Luke Wilson brings up a story about how he told his Old School co-stars Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn he was hosting the Late Show. He was surprised by how unimpressed they were, as they also filled in for Dave. Later in the show, Seether performs ""Driven Under.""

10x112 - Billy Crystal, Michael Barimo

March 31, 2003

Dave returns from a month-long hiatus and makes fun of his health problems. He also shows an old ""Tonight Show"" clip as a tribute to the late, great George Miller.

10x113 - Colin Farrell, Rosanne Cash

April 1, 2003

""I have to be here tonight,"" Dave utters in the monologue, ""I'm out of sick days."" An ""Incredible Dog Challenge"" sponsored by Purina Dog Chow has been postponed by the weather, but that doesn't stop George Clarke from welding a metal garbage can.

10x114 - Helen Hunt, Jeremy Suarez, Cory Branan

April 2, 2003

Dave shows footage of Donald Rumsfeld unintentionally flipping the bird at a press conference, and later he chats with adolescent ""Bernie Mac Show"" star Jeremy Suarez.

10x115 - High-Jumping Dogs, Vin Diesel, Bo Diddley

April 3, 2003

After admitting that his medicine is making him bloated, Dave loosens his belt for all the world to see; during Biff's annual visit to Yankees Spring Training, he and Hideki Matsui recreate Abbott & Costello's ""Who's On First?"" routine; ten members of an Air Force base in Alaska present the Top Ten; Bo Diddley and the Debby Hastings Band performs ""Who Do You Love.""

10x116 - Hilary Swank, Jimmie Walker

April 4, 2003

Mailbag: ""Does Alan Kalter really have a twin?"" Dave points out that he does have a brother named Rick, but Alan interrupts with a chin rub. Apparently, Big Red recently discovered he has a twin sister, Denise. After catching up on lost time at a local restaurant, Alan and Denise go to his place and make out.

10x117 - Adam Sandler, The Folksmen

April 8, 2003

Dave shows a clip of Les Moonves on last night's episode of The Practice; Dave warns Steph/Monty to not ask the monkey question, but she does anyway; The Folksmen (stars of the film ""A Mighty Wind"") perform ""Old Joe's Place.""

10x118 - Lisa Marie Presley, Jamie Kennedy

April 9, 2003

Dave and Paul wonder openly what to ask Lisa Marie Presley, who is on the show tonight to promote her first solo album. Later in the show, she sings ""Lights Out.""

10x119 - Jane Krakowski, Jim Boeheim, Pete Yorn

April 14, 2003

Dave reminds us that his 56th birthday was on Saturday, but he claims it was really his 34th and CBS aged him; Dave tells a funny story about George Miller's memorial service; ""Hootie Johnson"" presents Dave with a green Masters jacket.

10x120 - Tom Brokaw, Tom Russell & Nanci Griffith

April 15, 2003

Dave announces that the Late Show (and not CNN) has the legal rights to a screen caption that reads ""Showdown: Syria""; Tony Mendez gets scolded by Daddy for abbreviating ""Dr. Phil's Words of Wisdom"" to ""Dr. Phil's Words of W"" on a cue-card; a woman who lost her luggage at JFK Airport participates in the new Hello Deli game ""What's Your Problem?"" (and she loses).

10x121 - Michael Douglas, Todd Rundgren

April 16, 2003

Dave shows footage of chaos on the streets of Baghdad that bears that striking resemblance to West Side Story; a man balancing a burning bowling ball participates in ""Is This Anything?""; Todd Rundgren performs ""Hello, It's Me"" (a song he would perform on the show again later that year).

10x122 - Anthony LaPaglia, Brian Regan, The Exies

April 17, 2003

Dave congratulates cameraman Dave Dorsett on fifty years in the biz; during Mailbag, a viewer asks why Dave doesn't throw stuff off the roof anymore, resulting in a flashback where Paul and his office supplies are thrown onto 53rd Street; The Exies perform ""My Goddess.""

10x123 - Ashton Kutcher, Jack Hanna

April 28, 2003

Due to today's weather, Dave raises the temperature inside the theater from 53 to 57 degrees; Dave comments on the Iraqi playing cards, then points out that Mickey Rooney is the 8 of diamonds; Jack Hanna brings two emus and an oryx (an African antelope) onstage.

10x124 - Ellen DeGeneres, John Malkovich

April 29, 2003

Sam Moore sits in again; Carmen Rasmussen of ""American Idol"" presents the Top Ten; John Malkovich promotes his new clothing line.

10x125 - Charlize Theron, Sue Johanson, Minus 5 with Wilco

April 30, 2003

An Iraqi Republican guard that bears more than a passing resemblance to a dazed Calvert walks by Dave right after the monologue; Dave attempts to make ""Wash it, gas it, give me the keys"" his new catchphrase; Lily Chin (the world's fastest crocheter) makes Dave half of a sweater; The Minus 5 and Wilco join together to perform ""The Town That Lost Its Groove Supply.""

10x126 - Bernie Mac, Amanda Peet

May 1, 2003

Mailbag: ""Whatever happened to the bear that mauled Alan Kalter?"" According to VH1's Where Are They Now?, the bear was fired for stealing a monitor in 1999, but he rebounded and now works in middle management for Oglivy & Mather. Dave invites the bear in to take a bow, and he runs over towards Alan in a frightening pose, then backs off and walks offstage. Also, Pulitzer Prize winner Robert A. Caro presents the Top Ten.

10x127 - Halle Berry, Don Rickles

May 2, 2003

Dave has Kentucky Derby announcer Dave Johnson on the phone so he can hear him say, ""…and down the stretch they come!""; the latest ""Rejected FDA Items"" include baloney playing cards; Don Rickles does stand-up.

10x128 - Kelly Rippa, Good Charlotte

May 5, 2003

Prompted by an audience member's request the week before, Pat, Steph/Monty, and a new employee throw stuff off the roof throughout the show for the first time since 1998; Dave meets Christy Smith, the first disabled contestant to appear on ""Survivor"" (she's hearing-impaired).

10x129 - Stupid Human Tricks, Hugh Jackson, Kelly Clarkson

May 6, 2003

Dave shows off his regular coffee mug, then a mug given to him by Dr. Phil that's almost twice that size, then the new, even larger Late Show mug; during ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a man puts pennies up his nose with his tongue; Kelly Clarkson sings ""Miss Independent.""

10x130 - David Hyde Pierce, Rube Goldberg Contest Winners, Ziggy Marley

May 7, 2003

A staffer dressed as Nightcrawler from the ""X-Men"" movies tries to hail a cab, but ends up on a rickshaw; Joe Lieberman presents the Top Ten; Ziggy Marley performs ""True to Myself.""

10x131 - Megan Mullally, Marilyn Manson

May 8, 2003

During Mailbag, Biff answers yet another question about his headset by unsuccessfully attempting to seduce the author of the letter; ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy) present the Top Ten; Marilyn Manson discusses painting with watercolors and later hangs out in the green room with the mothers.

10x132 - Albert Brooks, Jeffery Ross, The Libertines

May 9, 2003

Dave shows a CBS promo for ""Saddam Week""; a box of fish sticks and a bottle of perfume are subjected to a rare ""Will It Float?"" doubleheader; Albert Brooks promotes Finding Nemo and pretends to complain about his woes.

10x133 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Kevin James, Jenna Morasca

May 12, 2003

A high school senior in Jersey decides on his prom tuxedo, and ends up choosing a powder blue leisure suit; during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" a pink poodle sorts out blocks of different shapes; Survivor: Amazon winner Jenna Morasca is interrogated on all fronts, with burning questions from Dave, Paul, Rupert, and Monty.

10x134 - David Williams & Ronald Young, Jada Pinkett Smith, The Jayhawks

May 13, 2003

Dave reads the new disclaimer on the New York Times (""Not all articles are factual""); Chief Warrant Officers David Williams and Ronald Young, Jr. tell their incredible story of survival as Iraqi POWs; Jada Pinkett Smith promotes The Matrix Reloaded.

10x135 - Sean Hayes, Eric Ripert, Avril Lavigne

May 14, 2003

Biff walks the streets of New York City looking for celebrities, or, for that matter, celebrity lookalikes; during a cooking segment with Eric Ripert, Dave slings back a bottle of Jack Daniels; Avril Lavigne performs ""Losing Grip.""