11x100 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Tim Robbins, Evanescence

February 26, 2004

Dave shows an (bogus) political ad in which Dennis Kucinich announces he's marrying Lorenzo Lamas; in an all-dog edition of "Stupid Pet Tricks," one canine says hello to Dave; Ernest Borgnine presents the Top Ten.

11x101 - Bill Cosby, Toby Lightman

February 27, 2004

On "Audience Show & Tell," Dave make his contribution to an audience member's collection of gum chewed by celebrities; "Will It Float?" sinks a tray of billiard balls; Bill Cosby does stand-up; Lou Reed capes; Toby Lightman sings.

11x102 - Anne Heche, Cee-Lo

March 1, 2004

The studio audience votes Dave off the show, so Gaines orders Paul to take over during "Survivor Loser." When Dave reappears during Paul's interview with Richard Hatch, Paul goes to a commercial. Later, a miffed (and naked) Hatch walks into the backdrop during Anne Heche's visit.

11x103 - Turkey Callers, Julia Stiles, Jessica Simpson

March 2, 2004

National Turkey Calling champs are trotted out; Ryan Seacrest presents the "Top Ten Catch Phrases Ryan Seacrest Rejected Before 'Seacrest Out!'" (via satellite); Julia Stiles visits; Jessica Simpson sings.

11x104 - Ben Stiller, Robert Rudolph and The Family Band

March 3, 2004

During Mailbag, Biff goes to bed with a guy named Cameron Diaz; George Clarke fills in for Anna Jack on hula hoop; Alan admits to a -a-week addiction to Vicodin; Robert Randolph and the Family Band brings the house down with "Going In The Right Direction."

11x105 - Viggo Mortensen, Sting, Bill Murray

March 4, 2004

Dave announces that he's on steroids, then shows before-and-after photos to prove his point; Biff goes on a cruise; the outside cam finds Bill Murray lying in the gutter, a desperate and broken man; "Oprah" (Pat Farmer) interviews "Beyonce" (Kenny Sheehan).

11x106 - Charles Grodin, Chloe Pang

March 5, 2004

Twelve-year-old piano prodigy Chloe Pang plays Bach's "Goldberg Variations." Dave is almost brought to tears by the performance, declaring it one of the show's best.

11x107 - Jim Carrey, Steve Winwood

March 15, 2004

Dave points out that for the nineteenth year in a row, the WMDB/CBS Orchestra will be the house band for the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies; Dave and Les Moonves chat via telephone; Jim Carrey and Dave attempt a "talk show without talk" that only lasts about 47 seconds.

11x108 - Kate Winslet, Bruce McCall, The Vines

March 16, 2004

After two weeks of plugging their product, Dave shows a single Shick Quattro razor the company sent, and reads a very peculiar letter to Gaines from someone in the company; the Top Ten is now sponsored by myheadhurts.com; Canadian satirist Bruce McCall promotes his new book; The Vines perform "Ride."

11x109 - Courtney Love

March 17, 2004

11x110 - Tom Hanks, N.E.R.D.

March 22, 2004

Cold opening: Tom Hanks gives Harry Letterman an Oscar, and Dave accepts it on his behalf. Later, the Ladykillers star gives the absentee infant a savings bond, while Congressman Dennis Kucinich presents the Top Ten.

11x111 - Jamie Foxx, Al Franken

March 23, 2004

All-American basketball player Andre Barrett throws various items off the roof, aiming towards a basketball hoop at ground level, the misses the basket on all six chances. Also, Al Franken promotes his upcoming liberal-friendly radio network.

11x112 - Ricky Gervais, Blondie

March 24, 2004

Mailbag: George Clarke's attempt at surgically losing weight is thwarted when some guy steals his clothes. Also, Blondie performs "Good Boys."

11x113 - Janet Jackson, John Mayer

March 29, 2004

Throughout the night, Columbia University professor and 1999 Nobel laureate in economics Dr. Robert Mundell tells lame redneck jokes; Bill DeLace presents another hidden-camera remote Top Ten; Janet Jackson is grilled at length by Dave on her "wardrobe malfunction" at this year's Super Bowl.

11x114 - Matthew Perry, Lou Reed

March 30, 2004

After weeks of shilling their product, Dave finally receives a thousand Schick Quattro razors in the mail, then promises to give them out to the audience. Unfortunatly, Gaines and Laurie Diamond tell Dave that the staff has already taken their fair share of the razors. Later in the show, he compensates by having Rupert, the Hi-Ho girls, and a British guy giving candy and razors to the audience.

11x115 - Johnny Knoxville, Sahr Singh, The Walkmen

March 31, 2004

11x116 - The Rock, Liz Phair

April 1, 2004

A minor controversy that started earlier in the week is resolved by a very apologetic CNN anchorwoman (see recap). Also, Dave congratulates Craig Kilborn on five years at CBS.

11x117 - Tyler Crotty, Michael Imperioli, Jim Gaffigan

April 2, 2004

Audience Show & Tell: a husband and wife tandem demonstrates a neat trick involving a yo-yo and a shiny quarter. Also, Dave chats with Tyler Crotty, the tired pre-teen who has been at the center of a minor controversy on the Late Show for the last week. For appearing on the show, Dave gives Tyler several cans of Red Bull. Also, very tall man(Paul Olkowski) gives Dave a one arm hug before he shows a "glory day" highlight from 12 years ago when he sank a full-court shot on ESPN.

11x118 - Bruce Willis, Renee Askins

April 6, 2004

The Top Ten list is now sponsored by rake-attack.com, while Bruce Willis shows off his new, stealthy, Trump-style hairpiece.

11x119 - Jimmy Fallon, Anne Hathaway, Usher

April 7, 2004

11x120 - Billy Crystal, Alex Rodriguez

April 12, 2004

Alan brings a video of celebrity well-wishers for Dave's 57th birthday (just a tape of a fleeing Regis); it's "More With Les," as Dave phones up CBS-TV head honcho Les Moonves; Billy Crystal plugs his new children's book; "A-Rod" chats, then jacks a few balls with Dave on 53rd Street.

11x121 - Chris Rock, The Upside Down Act

April 13, 2004

Biff makes his annual trip to Spring Training, where he for the second year in a row, he and Hideki Matsui perform Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?" routine; Jerry turns Dave upside down to preview Kai Leclerc's gravity-defying juggling act; "Dwight the Troubled Teen" makes another visit to Alan's booth.

11x122 - Amy Sedaris, Damien Rice

April 14, 2004

Mailbag: After noticing that a letter-writer misspelled his name, Paul comes with a homonym for his moniker, resulting in a rival homonym from Biff. Also, Dave kisses a donkey, while Ruben Stoddard presents the Top Ten.

11x123 - David Duchovny, Chris Russo

April 15, 2004

In the "season finale" of "Trump or Monkey?," a dancer from the musical Hairspray wins an alleged trip to Acapulco; David Duchovny discusses his son's linguistic skills; after getting bumped twice in the last year, NYC sportscaster Chris "Mad Dog" Russo is finally grilled by Dave.

11x124 - Phil Mickelson, Kathryn Morris, Patti Smith

April 16, 2004

Phil Mickelson brags about his victory at the 2004 Masters; James Lipton delivers Paul's cape.

11x125 - Megan Mullally, Eli Manning, Diana Krall

April 26, 2004

al-Qaeda takes responsibility for Derek Jeter's batting slump; Dave resurrects his two favorite Cold Mountain sound clips; stuntman "Magic Brian" eats a lightbulb.

11x126 - Andy Richter, Davy Rothbart, Mary Chapin Carpenter

April 27, 2004

Dave declares that the new mission statement for the Late Show will be "We are here for you. We'll make things better." Also, Rupert hosts the debut edition of "Stop the Pump," a game involving pumping fuel at a gas station on the corner of 44th and 10th in Manhattan.

11x127 - Julianne Moore, Robert Klein, Todd Rundgren

April 28, 2004

Dave announces that he's going to be "more dynamic," resulting in spasm-like movements by him and Paul; to accompany Steph/Monty/Smitty dressing as Amelia Earhart for Mailbag, Dave repeatedly orders to hear airplane SFX inbetween letters; Julianne Moore tells Dave what it's like to kiss Barbara Walters.

11x128 - Kelly Ripa, Jennie Finch

April 29, 2004

The theater audience is given the option of either having Tom Hanks drop by or watch stock footage of a camel on skis. Dave claims the camel tape won. Also, Dave thinks he's addicted to Bexstra, claiming "the inside of me itches."

11x129 - Hillary Clinton, The Roots

April 30, 2004

An audience member turns her hand 360 degrees; Hillary Clinton discusses her husband's book and the war in Iraq; The Roots perform "Don't Say Nuthin'."

11x130 - Stupid Pet Tricks, David Spade, Loretta Lynn & Jack White

May 3, 2004

11x131 - Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Adam Brody

May 4, 2004

Nobel Economics Prize winner Robert Mundell tells "Yo Mama" jokes; a woman off the street pretends to be in an earthquake with Rupert; Survivor All-Stars loser Shii-Ann Huang presents the Top Ten.

11x132 - Kate Beckinsale, Sue Johanson

May 5, 2004

11x133 - Diving Dogs, Tina Fey, Morgan Spurlock

May 6, 2004

11x134 - Kelsey Grammar, Orchestra Baobob with Trey Anastasio and Dave Matthews

May 7, 2004

Ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy and Gerard as "Betty Lou Roberts") present the Top Ten, and later the faux mother of Julia Roberts delivers Paul's cape.

11x135 - Amber Brkich, Regis Philbin, Black-Eyed Peas

May 10, 2004

Dave announces that motorcyclist "Johnny McCoy" will be performing a very dangerous and complicated stunt out on 53rd Street, but it ends up getting cancelled; Dave makes Jerry play the airplane SFX again; it turns out Johnny McCoy can't even ride a motorcycle; Dave, Regis, and Paul weigh themselves.

11x136 - David Hyde Pierce, David Byrne

May 11, 2004

11x137 - John McCain, Tom Dreesen

May 12, 2004

11x138 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Hugh Jackman

May 13, 2004

11x139 - Amy Sedaris, Modest Mouse

May 14, 2004

A special edition of the show taped in the middle of the night. Dave arrives on horseback; vermin expert Robert Sullivan searches for rats; Dave shows footage of Eric Stangel trying to call Bob Borden from his apartment/hotel room; ten nighthawks present the Top Ten; Amy Sedaris takes a tour of her West Village neighborhood.

11x140 - Antonio Banderas, Alanis Morrisette

May 17, 2004

11x141 - Charlie Sheen, Jack Hanna

May 18, 2004

Chef Emil Castillo makes a frittata (read: omelet), and when completed, Dave smothers it with ketchup; Dave pays tribute to Tony Randall, who passed on that morning; Dave resolves a tickle in his throat with a bottle of Tanqueray.

11x142 - Kiefer Sutherland, Incubus

May 19, 2004

Dave gives Steph/Monty/Smitty another weird nickname ("Gunther") while baseball star Randy "Big Unit" Johnson presents a perfect game-themed Top Ten.

11x143 - Kate Hudons, Outkast

May 20, 2004

11x144 - Ellen DeGeneres, The Strokes

May 21, 2004

Dave claims he has a rare form of tuberculosis, and that a Dave stand-in is waiting backstage for when the time comes; Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl reports from her apartment in Brooklyn to discuss a recent leg injury; Gary Mintz fills in for Kiva during "Will It Float?"; The Strokes perform "The End Has No End."

11x145 - Nicole Kidman, Avril Lavigne

May 24, 2004

Dave's stand-in is still waiting for his cue; Dave demands to hear the airplane and Cold Mountain SFX again; the stars of The Sopranos perform the Top Ten; Nicole Kidman makes her first appearance on the show in three years.

11x146 - Dennis Quaid, Velvet Revolver

May 25, 2004

Dave congratulates Sid McGinnis on becoming a grandfather; karate expert Leif Becker attempts to break 500 boards in a minute, but ends up tying his personal record of 415; ten NBA legends present the Top Ten; for the fourth show in a row, the credits roll over footage of Alan presenting flowers to an unknown woman.

11x147 - Mandy Moore, Nate Erwin, Counting Crows

May 26, 2004

Mailbag: Steph/Smitty/Gunther is dressed up as Rahal/Letterman racer Buddy Rice; the upcoming cable channel "Logo" declares the Late Show "the gayest show on television;" Dave is interrupted by "Gerry the Cicada" Mulligan, who attempts to dance the Lambada. Later, Gerry is invited back onstage to eat actual cicadas with Dave, Paul and bug expert Nate Erwin.

11x148 - Darrell Hammond, blink-182

May 27, 2004

Dave announces that he's had another falling-out with CBS, which may or may not give him the justification to mock the network again; hundreds of sailors walk onstage for "Is This Anything?"; Darrell Hammond performs his best impressions, plus a new imitation of Senator John Kerry.

11x149 - Andy Dick, Bob Woodward

May 28, 2004

A 1 1/2 pound Porterhouse steak is subjected to "Will It Float?" and despite Dave's scientific argument that a dead animal would more than likely float in water, the meat sinks. Also, Bob Woodward discusses his new book and recent interview with George Bush.

11x151 - Bette Midler, David Tidmarsh

June 8, 2004

In honor of one of tonight's guests (a spelling bee champ), Dave mentions that the most commonly used word in the English language is "biscuit"; a new game called "Cicada/Secada" is botched by Rupert's revealing of the game-board; Bette Midler promotes The Stepford Wives and discusses the joy of bowling.

11x152 - Buddy Rice, Christopher Walken, Kid Rock

June 9, 2004

Dave and Paul have a heated discussion over who would win a fight- "badass" Kid Rock or "nerves of steel" Buddy Rice; during Mailbag, Biff goes to Wisconsin to help out a law student, and ends up smashing a bottle over the kid's head; Dave tries on a racing helmet given to him by 2004 Indy 500 winner Buddy Rice.

11x153 - Matthew Broderick, Jamie Cullum

June 10, 2004

In honor of his death earlier that day, Paul and the band performs Ray Charles' "What'd I Say"; Dave sends Matthew Broderick outside to get hosed with water; jazz pianist Jamie Cullum performs "All at Sea."

11x154 - P. Diddy, Jim Gaffigan

June 11, 2004

Jim Gaffigan comments on married life and becoming a father for the first time. Also, Paul Anka delivers Paul's cape for this Friday night James Brown homage, then in honor of the retirement of the long-standing gag, performs a parody of "My Way."

11x155 - Paris Hilton, Patti Scalfa

June 14, 2004

Dave shows us another photo of Harry; Paris Hilton discusses The Simple Life and her now-infamous sex tape; Patti Scialfa (Mrs. Bruce Springsteen) performs "23rd Street Lullaby."

11x156 - Ben Stiller, Beastie Boys

June 15, 2004

To further promote Popeye's Green Beans, Dave and Paul eat Popeye's chicken and give fun facts; Ben Stiller attempts to break windows across the street with a dodge-ball, but ends up falling off the building.

11x157 - Chauncey Billups, Dana Carvey, Wilco

June 16, 2004

11x158 - Vince Vaughn, Margaret Cho

June 17, 2004

11x159 - Michael Moore, Jennifer Hawkins, Los Lobos

June 18, 2004

Michael Moore discusses his infamous speech at the 2003 Oscars and promotes Fahrenheit 9/11; Dave tries on Miss Universe's sash and tiara; Los Lobos performs "Charmed."

11x160 - Larry Brown, Sean Hayes, Phish

June 21, 2004

Throughout the night, George Clarke eats fish sticks on the roof to honor a certain band performing on the marquee; for the third night in a row, Dave shows (well-edited) footage of a guy cheating on Jeopardy; Phish performs "Scents and Subtle Sounds" and unwittingly stops traffic in the process.

11x161 - Kevin Kline, Nicole Richie

June 22, 2004

Dave announces that he and Paul will be in this weekend's Gay Pride parade; past contestant Jennie Ford plays "Super Trump or Monkey;" Ken Griffey, Jr. presents the Top Ten; Nicole Richie (reality star and adopted daughter to Lionel Richie) tells Dave how she conquered heroin addiction.

11x162 - David Alan Grier, Britton Keeshan, the Von Bondies

June 23, 2004

11x163 - Kid Inventors, Shawn Wayans, Secret Machines

June 24, 2004

During a "New Products" segment, Dave sinks his teeth into some charcoal briquets, which he swallows with mouthwash. Also, The Secret Machines (in their TV debut) perform "Now Here to Nowhere."

11x164 - Bonnie Hunt, Dylan Moran

June 25, 2004

"Know Your Current Events" is played for the first time in over six months; Dave spills coffee on his lap, and Paul suggests hydrogen peroxide to clean it off; "Dwight the Troubled Teen" breaks character to remind people not to download illegally.

11x165 - Piedmont Bird Callers, Kirsten Dunst, Chris Robinson

June 28, 2004

Dave admits that after spending all weekend watching documentaries about building motorcycles, he wants a hog for himself. At the end of the show, Dave forms a motorcycle "gang" with Paul, Dave Dorsett, and Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes.

11x166 - Keira Knightly, Joseph Wilson

June 29, 2004

A husband and wife combo plays the "Late Show Bill Clinton Memoir Challenge," in which they must find the name "Monica" in his new book within thirty seconds. Later, Pat and Kenny recreate Oprah's recent interview with the former president.

11x167 - Ethan Hawke, Jon Heder

June 30, 2004

Dave turns on the hose-cam again, shooting water at unsuspecting passersby; during Mailbag, Dave shows footage from the new Spiderman movie (actually the classic 60's cartoon) of Doc Ock torturing Spidey with a clip from the Late Show; Jon Heder promotes Napoleon Dynamite.

11x168 - Will Ferrell, Dashboard Confessional

July 1, 2004

Two lumberjacks compete against each other out on 53rd Street, while Will Ferrell shows Dave a home movie of his four-month-old "baby" (a sports car).

11x169 - Christina Applegate, David Sedaris

July 2, 2004

The musical talents of Paul, Felecia, and Bruce are laid to waste once more on "Stump the Band"; "Fat Spider-Man" (George Clarke) presents a remote Top Ten; David Sedaris reads an except from his new book, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.

11x170 - Kristin Davis, Ali G

July 12, 2004

In the debut edition of "Where They Would Have Gone For Their Summer Vacation," Biff tells Dave that Charles Bronson would've gone to Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut; Jeopardy! super-contestant Ken Jennings presents the Top Ten; Dave admits to Kristen Davis that he was "watching hard" while viewing Sex & the City reruns on TBS.

11x171 - Will Smith, Jet

July 13, 2004

Dave continues to discuss motorcycles; Alan's baseball commentary is interrupted by the return of that guy who used to beat the daylights out of him several years back; to prove some sort of point, Will Smith sticks his butt in Dave's face.

11x172 - Hilary Duff, Jonathan Ames

July 14, 2004

Dave compares President Bush to Porky Pig; during Mailbag, a young, fairweather Letterman fan is thrown out of the theater; Hilary Duff promotes A Cinderella Story.

11x173 - Cedric the Entertainer, Laird Hamilton

July 15, 2004

11x174 - Julianna Marguiles, Bob Sarlatte, Ashlee Simpson

July 16, 2004

Audience Show & Tell: Dave chats with a meteorologist from Connecticut who was once mentioned on "Know Your Current Events." Also, Dorothy celebrates her 83rd birthday with a Dave stand-in and a refrigerator full of Red Bull and vodka.

11x175 - Denzel Washington, Jim Rome

July 19, 2004

Dave gloats over Rahal/Letterman Racing's visit to the White House earlier in the day; three stagehands attempt to smear a camera lens with sunscreen from 90 feet above street level; Denzel Washington promotes The Manchurian Candidate.

11x176 - Halley Berry, Maria Mena

July 20, 2004

In honor of the 35th anniversary of the moonwalk, it's time for a new game at Hello Deli called "Would You Like to Plant a Flag on the Moon?" Rupert brings in a contestant from Yukon, Oklahoma, and Dave gives her a hard time about it.

11x177 - Sharon Stone, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

July 21, 2004

11x178 - Matt Damon, Carmelo Anthony, The Hives

July 22, 2004

We watch news footage of Pete Rose's restaurant being looted of everything except a Late Show t-shirt; while addressing the Sandy Berger controversy, Dave unwittingly spits on Tony; The Hives perform "Walk Idiot Walk."

11x179 - Brittany Murphy, Paula Poundstone

July 23, 2004

An audience member from Cincinnati suspends a grape in air by blowing on it; Dave comments on Krispy Kreme's new doughnut shake, followed by a fake ad for Burger King's new liquid Whopper; Britney Murphy and Dave pinky-swear; troubled comedienne Paula Poundstone jokes about her time in detox.

11x180 - Holly Hunter, US Olympic Synchronized Swimming Team

July 26, 2004

11x181 - John McEnroe, Zach Braff

July 27, 2004

With the Olympics approaching, Dave reminds the audience that he's on steroids; a standby audience member calls up Regis and tells him to shove it; Biff makes his second report from Boston; Dave scratches his chin in a borderline-offensive manner.

11x182 - Bob Newhart, 213 with Snoop Dogg

July 28, 2004

A remarkably ornery Dave attempts to apologize to Regis via telephone but hangs up on him, then answers every question on CBS Mailbag with a resilient "who cares?" Also, Bob Newhart discusses the statue built in honor of him in Chicago and then does a fairly decent impression of Dr. Henry Kissinger.

11x183 - Natalie Portman, Ambulance LTD

July 29, 2004

Biff tries unsuccessfully to interview Michael Moore; Natalie Portman talks about sleeping with her dog Charlie; Ambulance Ltd. performs "Primative."

11x184 - Rosie Perez, Greg Giraldo

July 30, 2004

Anton (still filling in for Paul) plays "Will It Float?" for the first time; Rosie Perez tells a funny story about an actor who spits when he speaks; Alan Kalter asks Dave to talk about his latest love of his life, then gets beaten up by the women's brother.

11x185 - Pamela Anderson, Al Franken

August 2, 2004

The guest chairs are replaced and Dave's desk has been altered; during "Who Asked For It?" an audience member vaporizes himself; Pamela Anderson brags about having sex without dating.

11x186 - Bill Clinton, Natalie Merchant

August 3, 2004

Former President Clinton discusses a wide variety of topics with Dave, then signs a copy of his book for Harry. Also, Natalie Merchant performs "Sally Ann."

11x187 - Tom Cruise, Dax Shepard

August 4, 2004

Michael Bearden and Anton continue to fill in for Paul, prompting Dave to ask Anton how Paul would respond to some of his comments tonight; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer determines the length of a "New York Minute" but ends up getting robbed and beaten instead; "Tom Ridge" (Gerard) discusses homeland security, then breaks into song; Tom Cruise promotes Collateral.

11x188 - Gerard Mulligan, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jessica Simpson

August 5, 2004

Dave bids farewell to longtime writer Gerard Mulligan with a sitdown interview and a clip montage heavy on NBC-era footage.

11x189 - Tommy Franks, Greg Giraldo

August 6, 2004