3x116 - Stupid Human Tricks, Mira Sorvino, k.d. Lang

March 6, 1996

3x117 - Dan Rather, Bonnie Hunt, The Tony Rich Project

March 7, 1996

3x118 - Dana Carvey, Riverdance

March 8, 1996

3x119 - Ricki Lake, William Shatner, Ray Romano

March 18, 1996

Dave mentions that in between show tapings, an audience guy named Anthony sang ""My Way"" from the balcony. During the taping of this episode, however, Dave invites him to sing it onstage. Also, Dave goes over to Black Rock Bar & Grill to swipe a beverage from Dan Rather.

3x120 - Mandy Patinkin, Tea Leoni, Collective Soul

March 19, 1996

Dave stoically mentions that this will be the last night for the current set, and that it will be remodeled during the NCAA Tournament coverage. To commemorate this, at the end of the show, a couple dozen audience members file by the desk to touch Dave.

3x121 - Barbara Walters, Halle Berry, Ray Charles

March 20, 1996

As the Ed Sullivan Theater is being renovated, Dave hosts his show from the lobby with only 60 folding chairs set up for the audience. Fire Commissioner Howard Safir oversees the proceedings, while guests Barbara Walters and Halle Berry make their entrances through the theater debris. Dave tells Ray Charles, ""I don't know how to break it to you, but you're in the lobby."" Also, a man-on-the-street segment finds that most New Yorkers are apathetic towards the new set.

3x122 - Phil Hartman, Rose Hamburger, The Band

March 26, 1996

After a week of construction, the show's new ""Bridge"" set is unveiled. Dave quickly mentions that he ordered it from a catalog. Martha Stewart honors the occasion by hammering in the last nail. Later, she's seen sanding backstage and, still later, operating a blowtorch.

3x123 - George Foreman, Naomi Campbell, Tim McGraw

March 27, 1996

Dave has an extra joke in the monologue, so he and Tony take it over to Conan O'Brien at NBC. Meanwhile, George Foreman breaks a pinata at Hello Deli, in celebration of the unveiling of Rupert's new ""set.""

3x124 - Don Johnson, Michelle Kwan, No Doubt

March 28, 1996

Mailbag: Dave goes over to Yankee Stadium and steals home plate. Also, Dave chats with ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson), the president of the New Set Fan Club, and No Doubt performs ""Spiderwebs.""

3x125 - Nick Turturro, Jenny McCarthy, Stone Temple Pilots

March 29, 1996

Dana Carvey drops by and receives a piece of the set; The Usual Suspects star Kevin Spacey presents the Top Ten live via satellite; Alan Kalter stars in the new midseason replacement sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator.""

3x126 - Mary Tyler Moore, Anna Paquin, Mark Knopfler

April 1, 1996

Dave tricks young Oscar® winner Anna Paquin into getting in a magician's box, claiming he was going to show her a trick. Once he had her locked in, he took off her shoes and tickled her feet!Also, Dave challenges Millionaire Basketball Winner Tom Gates: if he makes his shot onstage, Dave will give him ,000; if he doesn't, he has to host the show. He misses. So does a very un-athletic Mary Tyler Moore. But Paquin hits, and Dave gives her the ,000 cash.

3x127 - Bill Cosby, Anfernee Hardaway, Ray Wold

April 2, 1996

After Dave promises that the Quiz Machine will never be seen on the show again, he brings out the ""Flagstar 3000,"" a cheap cardboard facade.

3x128 - Elle MacPherson, Hank Azaria, Cassandra Wilson

April 3, 1996

Anna Paquin returns to the show two days after the basketball challenge and donates her cash prize to charity. Also, Dave temporarily moves his show to public access, and Laurie Diamond persuades him to return to CBS.

3x129 - Bill Maher, Michael Lomanaco, Jackson Browne

April 4, 1996

CBS Mailbag: the Quiz Machine is destroyed (at last!) by a cab, while Tony Randall hides under Dave's desk to protect himself from the government.

3x130 - David Hyde Pierce, Scott Thompson, Pulp

April 5, 1996

Dave shows a clip of Marshall Sylver's infomercial, and throughout the night Dave attempts to hypnotize members of the staff. After Dave accidentally puts Biff in a daze, he calls up Sylver to figure out what to do with his entranced stage manager.

3x131 - Robert Duvall, Amy Brenneman, Tori Amos

April 8, 1996

After miraculously surviving its attempted demise the previous week, the Quiz Machine is finally destroyed once and for all. Also, ten ballerinas present the Top Ten.

3x132 - Tony Danza, Lucy Lawless, R. Kelly

April 9, 1996

Dave begins a new contest: The town that sends the most valuable gifts will be the new Top Ten Home Office. Two huge glass tanks are displayed onstage, each for the two towns in competition. Tonight, Wahoo, Nebraska (the challenger) sends enchiladas, while Grand Rapids (the incumbent) sends a fax from the Governor of Michigan. Not a good start for Grand Rapids. Also, the outside cam visits Sullivan's Bar & Grill next door, and their bartender comes in the theater to pose for a Polaroid picture.

3x133 - Dan Aykroyd, Louis C.K., Sting

April 10, 1996

3x134 - Luciano Pavarotti & Michael Bolton, David Schwimmer, Cynthia Rowley

April 11, 1996

The Home Office Competition continues: Added to Wahoo's tank is a pizza, a T-shirt, and a birdhouse, while Grand Rapids adds a garment bag; Dave shows another episode of Alan Kalter's mini-sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator""; Luciano Pavarotti and Michael Bolton sing ""Nessun Dorma.""

3x135 - Tom Brokaw, Blue, Rosanne Cash

April 12, 1996

Dave appears on the Times Square Jumbotron demanding presents; Dave and Fred Nigro go to Jersey to help with taxes, during which Dave recruits a citizen to stand in for him during an audit; Dave plugs his mother's recently-published cookbook.

3x136 - Joan Lunden, Nick Faldo, Jewel

April 22, 1996

An audience member assists in the debut of the Slatstar 2000, while Brett Butler presents the Top Ten.

3x137 - Mia Farrow, Janeane Garofalo, Hootie & the Blowfish

April 23, 1996

Mia Farrow reveals that she's addicted to the internet. Carly Simon drops by in mid-interview, and later, both sit in with the CBS Orchestra, with Mia on tambourine and Carly on cowbell.

3x138 - Samuel Jackson, Jeff Altman, Los Lobos

April 24, 1996

Dave holds an impromptu auction, while Marshall Sylver hypnotizes more Late Show staffers.

3x139 - Kids Telling Jokes, Chazz Palminteri, Celine Dion

April 25, 1996

Wahoo vs. Grand Rapids, Day 9: Wahoo sends two kids, Jeff and Josh Price, to sit in their glass tank. Grand Rapids loses further ground by sending several non-living items. Also, Alan does various random things throughout the night, including reading his turkey pot pie recipe, speaking in a bad French accent, ripping his shirt open, and holding his breath through a commercial break.

3x140 - Dana Carvey, Robin Quivers, Afghan Wigs

April 26, 1996

In honor of the recent Sotheby's Auction that featured items once owned by John F. Kennedy, Biff comes stage on Jackie O's (alleged) riding lawnmower; in a pre-taped segment, Dave interviews CBS job applicants, during which he pressures college sophomore Todd Stevens to sing; Nathan Lane appears to show Todd how it's done; Dave leaves the show to have some coffee with a guy named Kenny.

3x141 - Regis Philbin, Dave's Mom, Peter Berg

April 29, 1996

Dorothy drops by to promote the cookbook that Dave's been plugging for the last two weeks, and she cooks him his favorite sandwich.

3x142 - Barbara Walters, Anthony Clark, Van Morrison

April 30, 1996

At the end of the monologue, a guy dressed up as an Olympic runner bolts across the stage, and later he paces around the backdrop. Also, comedian Anthony Clark promotes his new sitcom Boston Common.

3x143 - Jeff Goldblum, James Carville, Brooks & Dunn

May 1, 1996

Tonight's ""What's On Other Channels"" segment includes ""Condom Testing,"" ""The Mexican Navy's New Battleship,"" and ""Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson Video.""

3x144 - John Malkovich, Jake Johannsen, Pete Townshend

May 2, 1996

Pat Farmer interrupts the monologue by walking in front of the camera; Marv Albert provides color commentary on tonight's CBS Mailbag; two guys spray each other with fuel at a gas station in Queens.

3x145 - Rosie O'Donnell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Everclear

May 3, 1996

The Home Office Contest is over: Wahoo is now the official home office of the Top Ten List, decimating Grand Rapids from the get-go. Also, Everclear performs ""Heartspark Dollarsign.""

3x146 - Tom Hanks, Steve Young

May 6, 1996

The Late Show begins a week in San Francisco as Mayor Willie Brown interrupts the show throughout the hour by offering Dave the key to the city, a loaf of sourdough bread, and a stick he found in his yard. Also, Paul composes a music video for cable car operator Luis ""Guido"" Montano, with cameos by Los Lobos, Carly Simon, Hootie & the Blowfish and Celine Dion.

3x147 - Paul Reiser, Jane Seymour, Keanu Reeves & Dogstar

May 7, 1996

Frisco, Day 2: Dave gives a bouquet to a 95-year-old lady in the audience; Dave and football great Joe Montana tour the city, where they end up getting ""friendly"" in Alcatraz; Dave checks on the theater in NYC, and finds Clint Eastwood imitating Dave at his desk.

3x148 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Dean Cain, Elvis Costello

May 8, 1996

Frisco, Day 3: Sheila E. and Pete Escovido sit in; Dave shows off the 49ers shower curtain he has in the dressing room; Dave orders Rupert to harass people on the street; Dave invites a shaggy-looking guy in the audience (a professor at Stanford, no less) to take a shower during the show.

3x149 - Eddie Murphy, Paul Doherty, Green Day

May 9, 1996

From San Francisco: Three audience members receive free hams and souvenir cue cards; Joe Satriani sits in; Dave tells the seals at Fisherman's Wharf to shut up; the San Francisco Giants present the Top Ten; basketballs and melons are rolled down Fillburn Street, the steepest in the city.

3x150 - Don Johnson, Jeremiah Tower, Alice in Chains

May 10, 1996

Frisco, Day 5: The Alcatraz mock-up in the backdrop is subject to a jailbreak; Dave hangs out with a local hippie, thus introducing the world (not to mention fleeting fame) to one Manny Papp; Dave loses a blue card, and then finds it inside a crab at Fisherman's Wharf; Manny meets his hero, John Popper of Blues Traveler.

3x151 - Anjelica Huston, Paul Hogan, Natalie Merchant

May 13, 1996

Dave quizzes the audience on his week in San Francisco, during which Gene Siskel runs onstage looking for Roger Ebert. Later in the show, he gives up on his search, then relaunches his film review program as ""Siskel and DeForest."" Also, Natalie Merchant sings ""Jealousy.""

3x152 - Jon Stewart, Kirstin Dunst, Dog's Eye View

May 14, 1996

Manny the Hippie gives his first live remote from San Francisco, as Dave asks him to give periodic reviews on current movies. Tonight, he reviews Twister, which he personally didn't care for.

3x153 - Jeff Foxworthy, Flyball Dogs, Joan Osborne

May 15, 1996

Junior Brown sits in, and Dave tries on his very unique hat. Also, a guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald gives Dave the Top Ten, and later he is found lying dead in the street.

3x154 - Walter Cronkite, Harry Hill, Spin Doctors

May 16, 1996

During Mailbag, Tony sits in for Dave while Dave sits in for Alan saying ""letter number two,"" which leads into a question about lawn care; comedian Harry Hill tells jokes about Cher, The A-Team, and his grandmother's funeral; Spin Doctors perform ""She Used to Be Mine.""

3x155 - Helen Hunt, Dave Matthews Band

May 17, 1996

For no apparent reason, Dave orders Tony to take a taxi; Manny the Hippie presents the Top Ten; a dentist checks out a weird whistling noise coming out of Dave's mouth when he speaks.

3x156 - Fran Drescher, Brian Regan, Joan Jett

May 20, 1996

Two audience guys go outside to monitor the temperature, and given their meteorological expertise, are ordered to stand next to a giant thermometer.

3x157 - John Goodman, Norm MacDonald, Patty Loveless

May 21, 1996

It's time for a new game called ""May We Turn Your Pants into Shorts?"" Dave is the first to mutilate his slacks, and is followed by Paul, Biff, John Goodman, and Norm MacDonald, who was already wearing shorts.

3x158 - Stupid Human Tricks, Brett Butler, Al Green

May 22, 1996

Dave shows a clip of his favorite moment from last night's show: Biff doing a quadruple take upon seeing Dave's slacks getting cut at the knee; Dave's contact lens fall out, so he wears his glasses for half the show; Brett Butler performs a Stupid Human Trick.

3x159 - Leslie Nielsen, Daphne Zuniga, Bring in Da Funk

May 23, 1996

Dave's jacket is stain by coffee, so he throws it into the balcony; an ""unknown guest"" crashes the show; Leslie Nielsen promotes Spy Hard.

3x160 - Kid Inventors, Dennis Quaid, Seven Mary Three

May 24, 1996

Dave and Conan O'Brien get ""Bob Dole Is Old"" jokes from the joke storeroom in the basement of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Also, Dave invites several staffers (including then-intern Stephanie Birkett) to discuss their dreams at a local steakhouse.

3x161 - Martin Short, Jimmy Vassar, Bryan Adams

June 3, 1996

Live via satellite in San Francisco, Manny the Hippie reviews the film ""Spy Hard"": ""It's schwiggity schwag!"" Also, ""She Loves Me"" week begins with Martin Short, who performs this song, hanging on to the last note while leaving the theater, grabbing a soda at the Hello Deli, getting a massage, and returning to the theater wearing a terrycloth robe.

3x162 - Nathan Lane, Daisy Fuentes, Mitch Fantel

June 4, 1996

Dave invites customers from the Roy Rogers restaurant across the street into the theater to be checked for ticks; Dr. Sam Merrick declares them tick-free. Also, Day 2 of ""She Loves Me,"" tonight performed by Nathan Lane. Like Martin Short the previous night, Nate holds the last note, goes out to Hello Deli for a soda, then to a massage, and back inside the theater with a robe.

3x163 - Diana Ross, George Wallace

June 5, 1996

Diana Ross performs a variation of the song ""She Loves Me"" called ""He Loves Me,"" and while holding the final note, buys a soda at Hello Deli, gets a massage at a nearby spa, and walks back inside the theater wearing a white robe.

3x164 - Matthew Broderick, Kim Delaney, Rent

June 6, 1996

Dave tells a mean fat joke about Roger Ebert, and shortly afterwards the film critic calls Dave a bastard; four singers present the First Annual Late Show Salute to the Word ""Ass""; on Day 4 of ""She Loves Me"" week, Matthew Broderick performs a certain 1950's pop standard, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at the Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the note.

3x165 - Rosie O'Donnell, Heather Matarazzo, Cracker

June 7, 1996

The final day of celebrity ""She Loves Me"" performances takes place when Rosie O'Donnell sings, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the same note. Dave follows this flawless presentation with a week-long retrospective.

3x167 - Dennis Franz, Joe Queenan, Gloria Estefan

June 11, 1996

In a piece of videotape footage that ""will disturb and shock you,"" Dave introduces clips of Bill Clinton singing ""Mustang Sally"" and Boris Yeltsin dancing.

3x168 - Ben Stiller, Liv Tyler, Douglas Rodriguez

June 12, 1996

Dave fools around with a hot glue gun, while up-and-coming actress Liv Tyler (daughter of Bebe Buell and Steven Tyler) promotes Stealing Beauty.

3x169 - Danny Glover, Bobby Maley, Joey Kola

June 13, 1996

Kenny Wayne Shepherd sits in; Dave points out that one of tonight's ""CBS Mailbag"" letter-writers is in the audience; during Mailbag, ""Ronald McDonald"" (Leonard) verbally abuses Dave.

3x170 - Kelsey Grammer, Amber Valletta, Ozzy Osborne

June 14, 1996

Dave bids farewell to one of his longtime staffers; Kelsey Grammer promotes ""Down Periscope""; Manny reviews The Cable Guy: ""Dank.""

3x171 - Vanessa Williams, Jonathan Silverman, Lucile Treganowan

June 17, 1996

Remote: Dave works the drive-thru at a Taco Bell in Jersey. Later, he chats with Lucille Treganowan, 66-year-old grandmother/hot rod guru. (correct synopsis)

3x172 - Sarah Jessica Parker, Marv Albert, Lyle Lovett

June 18, 1996

Some guy carrying the Olympic torch comes through to interrupt the monologue. Also, Dave recalls a fake Father's Day memory when his son ""Jimmy"" gave him an ashtray. Paul doubts the story, forcing Dave to recall his ""real"" video memory: ""Jimmy"" arriving with pizza. (correct synopsis)

3x173 - James Caan, Julie White, Patti Smith

June 19, 1996

Biff recruits an audience member to get splashed in the face by a speeding taxi going over a puddle. Also, CBS head honcho ""Les Moonves"" discusses the CBS fall lineup, then sings Harry Chapin's ""Cat in the Cradle.""

3x174 - Pauly Shore, Gena Lee Nolin, Vince Gill

June 20, 1996

In response to a CBS Mailbag letter that noticed a likeness between Inky Mendez and Steven Speilberg, Martin Scorsese is seen impersonating Anton Fig.

3x175 - John Travolta, John Sayles, The Presidents of the United States of America

June 21, 1996

Dave shows off a tick that has embedded itself into his suit, then shows more footage of him at Taco Bell. (correct synopsis)

3x176 - Conan O'Brian, Eleanor Mondale, Blues Traveler

June 24, 1996

3x177 - Bruce Willis, Christine Wilson, Jimmy Buffet

June 25, 1996

3x178 - Jerry Van Dyke, Luke Perry, Fugees

June 26, 1996

Jerry Van Dyke rides onstage on a mule; Luke Perry gives Dave his sideburns; The Fugees perform ""Fu-Gee-La.""

3x179 - Cher, Shaquille O'Neal

June 27, 1996

3x180 - Michael Keaton, Ving Rhames, Goo Goo Dolls

June 28, 1996

Manny the Hippie reviews Striptease: ""Schwag."" Also, Creepy Dave drops by to ask Michael Keaton about human cloning.

3x181 - Harry Connick, Jr., Josie Bisset

July 1, 1996

3x182 - Will Smith, Demi Moore

July 2, 1996

3x183 - Jeff Goldblum, Jonathan Katz, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars

July 3, 1996

Dave airs his first new July 3rd show since his morning show in 1980. During the ""Rejected FDA Products"" segment, Dave introduces ""Sherwin-Williams Fettucine in Paint."" Later, Jeff Goldblum promotes ""Independence Day"" as Rupert searches the sky for UFOs.

3x184 - Kids Tell Jokes, Dan O'Brian, Brian Setzer Orchestra

July 4, 1996

Mujibur and Sirajul stand on the roof, waiting for the fireworks in broad daylight; during Mailbag, ""Neil Diamond"" (Calvert) rouses the crowd with a smokin' rendition of ""America;"" two audience members take an American flag to the Empire State Building; The Brian Setzer Orchestra performs ""Town Without Pity.""

3x185 - Randy Quaid, Sheryl Swoopes, The Cure

July 5, 1996

Dave switches places with an audience woman, and later she sits in with the band; Elaine Stritch storms onstage and chews out Dave; Randy Quaid promotes Independence Day.

3x186 - Scottie Pippen, Prince, George Miller

July 8, 1996

3x187 - Bill Pullman, JoAnn Ussery, Willie Nelson

July 9, 1996

Dave points out that Paul is the co-musical director for the Olympic closing ceremonies; Biff keeps interrupting Dave; Dave chats with Joanne Ussery, a woman who lives in a renovated Boeing 727.

3x188 - Jack Hanna, Brent Spiner, Charlie Watts

July 10, 1996

Manny the Hippie talks about his trip to Roswell, New Mexico, while The Charlie Watts Quintet (featuring Bernard Fowler) performs ""In a Sentimental Mood.""

3x189 - Meg Ryan, Shaolin Monks, Garbage

July 11, 1996

Dave shows a semi-embarrassing clip of Meg Ryan from her days on ""As The World Turns,"" featuring a ""young"" Paul Shaffer and Will Lee.

3x190 - Bill Murray, MaliVai Washington, Wallflowers

July 12, 1996

Dave tries to find the owner of car whose license plates read ""SO HAPPY,"" and later he shows footage of a Wheel of Fortune contestant screwing up the answer to a puzzle: ""Paul Shatner!""

3x191 - Margaret Colin, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wali Collins

July 15, 1996

3x192 - Laurence Fishburne, Lea Thompson, Me'Shell Ndegeocello

July 16, 1996

Dave continues to gloat over the Late Show's (alleged) title as Official Talk Show of the Summer Olympics, with abortive sports commentary by Anton; Laurence Fishburne promotes Fled.

3x193 - Michael J. Fox, Shelly Moquin, Travis Tritt & Marty Stuart

July 17, 1996

Country legend Marty Stuart sits in, while a disgruntled alien (Gerard) comments on inaccuracies in the movie Independence Day.

3x194 - Andie MacDowell, Bob Woodward, Paul Westerberg

July 18, 1996

Dave discusses in length the show's embarrassment of Emmy riches this year (four nominations); the ""CBS Mailbag"" presents Dave's 10,000th ""Bob Dole is old"" joke; Dave receives another discouraging visit from Fan Club president ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson).

3x195 - David Duchovny, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Sponge

July 19, 1996

Leonard ""The Ronald McDonald Guy"" Tepper joins Rupert for another one of his hidden-mike remotes with Dave. Later, Jackie Joyner-Kersee promotes her new fitness book and upcoming appearance at the Atlanta Games.

3x196 - Danny DeVito, Amy VanDyken, Hootie & the Blowfish

August 5, 1996

Dave welcomes the Gold Medal-winning U.S. Olympic Girl's Gymnastics Team (minus the injured Kerri Strug); during a ""New Products"" segment, Pat Farmer models a t-shirt made from venetian blinds.

3x197 - Rhea Perlman, Dot Richardson, Reggie McFadden

August 6, 1996

3x198 - Michael Johnson, Tom Arnold, Tracy Chapman

August 7, 1996

Dave announces that the Late Show has its own version of ""The Real World,"" with Paul, Anton and Pat Farmer whining about their personal problems.

3x199 - Dennis Miller, Mia Hamm, Butthole Surfers

August 8, 1996

During ""CBS Mailbag,"" Secret Service Agents dance the Macarena; Dennis Miller promotes his new HBO talk show; Butthole Surfers perform ""Pepper.""

3x200 - Dennis Hopper, Cheech Marin, Sex Pistols

August 9, 1996

Dave brings up three girls from the audience, confiscates their gum, and sends them out to goof off in a nearby fountain; the Sex Pistols perform ""Pretty Vacant.""

3x201 - Richard Simmons, Jerry O'Connell, Lionel Richie

August 12, 1996

3x202 - Kevin Pollak, Diane Lane, Randy Travis

August 13, 1996

3x203 - Ellen Barkin, Jackie Chan, Patti Rothberg

August 14, 1996

3x204 - Dwight Gooden, Tom Selleck, George Jones

August 15, 1996

Dave chats with Yankees pitcher Dwight ""Doc"" Gooden, who threw a no-hitter the night before.

3x205 - Mike Wallace, Tom Dolan, Dave Attell

August 16, 1996

Dave gives a ham to a man in the audience who correctly guessed his weight (158 lbs).

3x206 - Marilu Henner, Alex Rodriguez, J.R. Havlen

August 19, 1996

3x207 - Dennis Rodman, Susan Molinari, Neville Brothers

August 20, 1996

3x208 - Angie Everhart, Mario Van Peebles, Beach Boys

August 21, 1996

3x209 - James Carville, Ed Burns, Melissa Etheridge

August 22, 1996

3x210 - Nathan Lane, Mara Wilson

August 23, 1996