8x1 - Wesley Snipes, Dido

August 21, 2000

Dave shows that he has a bandaged finger, claiming that he got a poison gas sensor alarm at his house over the weekend. He later breaks down, admitting that he cut his finger making potato salad.

8x2 - Jon Favreau, Stone Temple Pilots

August 22, 2000

Dave shows a supposed clip of the Bushes applauding Al Gore's acceptance speech. Later, several of Joe G's customers participate in a game called "Pizza Survivor."

8x3 - Jack Hanna, Wyclef Jean, Survivor Castaways

August 23, 2000

The cast of the original "Survivor" are featured in a special Top Ten list. Later, Dave chats with Jack Hanna.

8x4 - Richard Hatch, Shaquille O'Neal

August 24, 2000

Dave asks "Survivor I" winner Richard Hatch about his "appearance" on the show last night.

8x5 - Charles Grodin, Donal Logue

August 25, 2000

Dave shows the "rabid dingo" bite clip again; Biff tests his psychic abilities with unlabeled canned goods; Donal Logue promotes "The Tao of Steve."

8x6 - Mary Tyler Moore, Papa Roach

August 28, 2000

Dave's finger still hurts; Paul offers to pick up Anna Kournikova for her upcoming appearance; Alan makes a special offer to Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres (who just split up).

8x7 - Ricki Lake, Adam Ferrara

August 29, 2000

Dave fusses about the polar ice caps melting and The Weather Channel's inability to cover it. Later, Alan closes "Campaign 2000" by singing "Climb Every Mountain" and starting a fight.

8x8 - Rudy Giuliani, Laetitia Casta

August 30, 2000

On the 7th anniversary of the first episode on CBS, Dave points out that he has made exactly 3,280 episodes in late night, and that his favorite was #1150. Later, Biff goes to a summer camp in Honesdale, PA.

8x9 - D.L. Hughley, Tony Bennett & Diana Krall

August 31, 2000

Dave quizzes a secretary from Hartford with "Know Your Employees of Don Hewlett Chevrolet-Oldsmobile-Buick in Georgetown, Texas."

8x10 - Tim Robbins, Andy Kindler

September 1, 2000

During CBS Mailbag, Gerard explains why he's voting for Bush, and Dave marries Richard Hatch of "Survivor I" fame.

8x12 - Renee Zellweger, Bonnie Raitt

September 5, 2000

After reviewing stills of Dave's hand being stitched up, we're ready for the removal of the stitches, simulcast on www.cbs.com/lateshow. In the guest chair is Dr. Lou Arrone; he says Dave "almost cut off the tip of his finger." Dr. Robert Hodgkiss comes out and puts on goofy glasses. The Hi-Ho Babes bring out the medical equipment. Dave plays with special small magnifying camera by putting it in his mouth and down his pants. Finally, all 3 stitches come out. Shortly afterwards, Rupert brings in potato salad.

8x13 - Jamie Foxx, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

September 6, 2000

Alan interrupts Dave, claiming Monday was his 5th anniversary working on the show. He's mad because Dave forgot. He runs out into street, strips to his undies, and flips Dave off.

8x14 - Jesse Ventura, Spinal Tap

September 7, 2000

An audience member from Buffalo named Mel Chastain plays "Know Your Professional Bill Gates Lookalikes." Dave likes her so much that Biff hands her "Lion King" tickets.

8x15 - Greg Kinnear, Jake Johannsen

September 8, 2000

CBS Mailbag: Dave teaches grade school, while "AP writer Adam Klymer" (the scribe Dubya referred to as a "Major League Asshole," as played by Gerard) gives the future president the finger. Later, Greg Kinnear promotes "Dinner with Friends."

8x16 - Marat Safin, Sting

September 11, 2000

Biff blows up a bicycle tube and a soccer ball with a tire pump; Sting and Cheb Mami sing "Desert Rose."

8x17 - Chris Rock, Emmylou Harris

September 12, 2000

How Many Guys in Cat Suits Can Fit into a Coffee Shop? Walking in with no resistance are seven cats, a dog, Santa, a guy in a red cape, three monkeys, Moses, Dracula, Hercules, and a clown.

8x18 - Sally Field, Eddie Irvine

September 13, 2000

A "Banned from the Classroom" bit includes a jar of spit ball spit; Jack Daniels drink boxes; Professor George W. Bush's Build Your Own Electric Chair kit; the book Human Sexuality by the Gores; Elmer's Paste with Sprinkles; Dave Letterman anatomy chart; Crayola 64 pack cigarettes; and Hot Wheel Cars with (exploding) Firestone tires.

8x19 - Al Gore, Crosby Stills & Nash

September 14, 2000

Warren Zevon fills in for Paul Shaffer, who was sick that night.

8x20 - Kate Hudson, Supergrass

September 15, 2000

Nadine and Andrea rescue Calvert from under Dave's desk again. Later, Dave shows a "new" Hillary Clinton ad.

8x21 - Sylvester Stallone, Rocco DiSpirito

September 25, 2000

Dave goes on another lengthy tirade, correcting an article that appeared in yesterday's New York Times Magazine, calling Rush Limbaugh a "giant bag of gas," and then showing a photo of Jay Leno to demonstrate why his rival is "the goofiest-looking man in television."

8x22 - Gabriel Byrne, Kevin James

September 26, 2000

Dave gives the results of Olympic events before they air on NBC. Belgium seems to have won all of them except one (Finland).

8x23 - Denzel Washington, Mark Knopfler

September 27, 2000

Dave comments on Monday's rant by stating that while he has never been a non-voting Republican (according to the Times Magazine), he once registered as a Democrat. Later, Denzel Washington promotes "Remember the Titans" and wishes his wife a happy birthday.

8x24 - Ray Romano, Ralph Nader

September 28, 2000

Dave begins the evening by announcing, "Tonight is my final performance." Meanwhile, Vince Gill sits in, and presidential candidate Ralph Nader makes a campaign stop.

8x25 - Jada Pinkett Smith, LL Cool J

September 29, 2000

Dave makes another Ball State Football Update, declaring last week's 74-0 trouncing by Kansas State as being closer than the score reveals. Later, Alan Kalter interrupts Dave to scoff at news of Barbra Streisand's last concert, takes some time alone, then sobs uncontrollably.

8x26 - Geena Davis, Tom Cavanagh

October 2, 2000

A segment called "What's On TV This Week" is interrupted by two guys who burst into the theater fighting. Later, Tom Cavanaugh promotes his new show, "Ed."

8x27 - Christine Baranski, Green Day

October 3, 2000

"Late Show Iron Chef" -- Joe G. vs. Rupert Jee, Round 2: Rupert makes an omelet with Cajun spices, while Joe G makes a ham calzone; Maria Pope declares Joe G the winner.

8x28 - Farrah Fawcett, Loretta Lynn

October 4, 2000

Paul's sick tonight, so Anton's in charge and Cliff Carter sits in on keyboards. Dave calls "Paul" (who has a nasty upper respiratory thing), with Barry White providing the ailing bandleader's voice. Later, the annual "New for Fall" segment introduces "Biff Henderson's All-Star Impressions of Sleeping Celebrities" and drinking fountains filled with hot cocoa.

8x29 - Kevin Spacey, Lenny Krayzelberg

October 5, 2000

Biff plays "Super Unlabeled Canned Goods of the Night" (now with institutional-sized cans). Biff tastes chili, but Warren thinks it was chili the last time he sat in. He's wrong: it was ravioli on Sept. 15. Oh yeah, and Paul's still sick.

8x30 - Magic Johnson, Jewel

October 9, 2000

Since Paul's still sick, a guy comes out to show what Paul would have worn tonight; Eddie Brill fills in for Alan; Al Rent of Ball State comes out to give Dave the game ball from their big win that weekend; Ben Stiller has a dream where he walks onstage naked.

8x31 - Ben Stiller, Merle Haggard

October 6, 2000

Dave welcomes Rulon Gardner, who won the gold medal in wrestling at the Sydney Olmypics. Later, Warren Zevon promotes his new album.

8x32 - Regis Philbin, Jim Gaffigan

October 10, 2000

Barry White impersonates Paul via telephone yet again; after the latest edition of "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts," Alan plugs "PK: The Pat and Kenny Magazine"; Jim Gaffigan promotes "Welcome to New York."

8x33 - Jason Alexander, Anthony Boudain, Foo Fighters

October 11, 2000

Calvert grabs a Kleenex® from Dave's desk during the jokes; Warren Zevon is still sitting in for Paul, who has developed pneumonia; a segment called "What Does It Cost?" reveals that Dave Dorsett takes his pay in adult videos.

8x34 - Martha Stewart, Spike Lee

October 12, 2000

Like he has on previous nights, Calvert walks through during the monologue. Tonight, he goes to Dave's desk, picks up the phone and dials, says "Get me the police!," hangs up and walks out. Later, Spike Lee plugs "Bamboozled."

8x35 - Mark Wahlberg, Incubus

October 13, 2000

During tonight's "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," the announcer sings an impromptu rendition of "Who Let the Dogs Out"; George Clarke attempts to lose weight by fasting through the rest of the show, only to end up treating himself to a hoagie after the first interview; Dave bullies Warren and Anton into writing and performing an original composition on the spot.

8x36 - James Caan, Angela Perez Baraquio

October 16, 2000

Paul's back and finished with his lengthy bout with pneumonia; throughout the week Dave introduces vegetables that didn't win a prize at the fair, and tonight it's farmer Bob Fowler and his regular-sized squash; Miss America 2001 (Miss Hawaii) demonstrates one version of a hula.

8x37 - Helen Hunt, Willie Nelson

October 17, 2000

Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande come out (a day late) with roses for Paul to celebrate his return. Dave announces that he's not feeling too well, so Nadine and Andrea come back to cheer him up.

8x38 - Joaquin Phoenix, Allison Moorer

October 18, 2000

Dave lists some rejected Ball State mascot names from long ago, and learns that their previous nickname was the "Hoosieroons." So, Dave announces that Ball State may name its football stadium for him provided they change the mascot back from Cardinals to Hoosieroons. Also, Dave shows Joaquin Phoenix what a silver dollar looks like.

8x39 - George W. Bush

October 19, 2000

After months of fruitless attempts, Dave finally lands Republican presidential candidate George Walker Bush as a guest on the show. During the interview, Dave grills Dubya about current events and the future president can't seem to give him a straight answer.

8x40 - Lawrence Fishburne, Lenny Kravitz

October 20, 2000

Dave show clip of Gov George bush from yesterdays show where bush cleans his glasses with sweater of lady standing next to him during break (producer Maria Pope)

8x41 - Will Smith, Derek Jeter

October 30, 2000

8x42 - Show #1500

October 31, 2000

During the annual "Halloween Costumes" segment, Calvert claims a dead fish as his treat and Dave's car the morning after All Hallow's Eve; George Clarke gorges himself on candy in the basement; Dave shows a clip of Kenny Sheehan's guest role as the metal shop teacher on the October 29 episode of "Ed"; after being mocked on last night's Tonight Show, Dave does a crude Jay Leno impression.

8x43 - Alec Baldwin, Gil de Ferran

November 1, 2000

Calvert stands right smack in front of Dave at his desk and has to be shooed away; Biff, with a little help from Benny Agbayani, does an experiment on juiced baseballs on the roof; Alec Baldwin sticks gum on Maria's jacket during a commercial break.

8x44 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Mark Borchardt

November 2, 2000

Dave calls Biff out to answer the question of an audience member: "Does he sleep with his headset on?" Of course he does. Later, Dave makes fun of a James Brolin made-for-TV movie from last night.

8x45 - Madonna

November 3, 2000

Madonna makes her first guest appearance in over six years.

8x46 - Don Rickles, Moby & Gwen Stefani

November 6, 2000

Dave reports that before the show he was trying to trim his hair above his ears and accidentally buzzed himself in the lobe; the winners of the NYC Marathon run through, followed shortly by Calvert; Moby and Gwen Stefani sing "South Side."

8x47 - Adam Sandler, Outkast

November 8, 2000

It's the day after the infamous presidential election, so Calvert walks onstage and asks Dave, "How'd Nixon do?" Later, Dave shows (bogus) CBS election coverage with the headline "Nader Wins."

8x48 - Cokie Roberts, Patricia Arquette

November 9, 2000

Calvert comes by for a smoke, then sings "Who Let the Dogs Out?" with Alan; Cokie Roberts offers her predictions on the election recount, as does Patricia Arquette.

8x49 - Lucy Liu, Aaron Neville

November 10, 2000

Calvert interrupts the jokes, asking for a sandwich; during "CBS Mailbag," Dave makes a quick trip to Europe to visit his three Dutch fans, then accidentally decapitates Paul; Lucy Liu demonstrates a hair flip.

8x50 - Kid Scientists, Samuel L. Jackson

November 13, 2000

During the monologue, Dave does a "Classic Clinton Joke": "He's so fat he can't see who he's having sex with." Also, Biff reports from the election mess in Palm Beach County, Florida.

8x51 - Bruce Willis, Charles Barkley

November 14, 2000

Calvert comes out to tear up the cue card for the Classic Clinton Joke; Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; Alan congratulates Hillary Clinton on behalf of her winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, then makes a very lewd offer.

8x52 - Mike Myers, Ricky Martin

November 15, 2000

Calvert serves Dave some coffee; Mike Myers shows a clip from a movie he made when he was 13.

8x53 - Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Elliot

November 16, 2000

Calvert comes out to clean his glasses on Dave's jacket; Michael McDonald (of Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers fame) sits in; the show closes with the CBS Orchestra playing the theme from Dave's 1980 morning show, which was written by McDonald.

8x54 - Val Kilmer, Everclear

November 17, 2000

Anton tells about his troubles with a kid on Halloween; Dave's interview with Val Kilmer goes horribly awry.

8x55 - Susan Sarandon, Kasey Chambers

November 20, 2000

After having one flag put on the set last night, Dave now has two flags behind his desk so he can "look more presidential." Later, Dave gives Susan Sarandon a silver gravy serving bowl.

8x56 - Brian Williams, Faith Hill

November 21, 2000

Calvert comes out dressed like Dave and inspects a ballot; Dave demonstrates his improved facial maneuverability, and then thanks his dentist; the Brazilian Olympic bobsled team practices outside Joe G's.

8x57 - Richard Simmons, Giselle Bundchen

November 22, 2000

Calvert comes out to comb his hair, and leaves the stage to a standing ovation. Also, Richard Simmons comes out in an orange and yellow turkey outfit, prompting Dave to defend himself with a fire extinguisher.

8x58 - Stupid Human Tricks, Keri Russell

November 23, 2000

Dave apologizes for last night's show. Later, he shows highlights from the staff Thanksgiving Party, during which Dave dresses as a pilgrim and Paul gets thrown out for being Canadian.

8x59 - Matthew Broderick, David Gray

November 24, 2000

Calvert applies Chap Stick to his face; Dave finally gives an explanation for his behavior two nights ago (something involving how he won't let anybody touch his neck); during "CBS Mailbag," Dave and Paul rush to the aid of a reluctant virgin in Massachusetts; David Gray sings "Babylon."

8x60 - Bette Midler, Jack Hanna

November 27, 2000

Calvert comes out with a remote control to zap Dave; a tiger cub belonging to Jack Hanna develops a strange fondness for Dave.

8x61 - Martha Stewart, Christina Aquilera

November 28, 2000

Rather than do something, Calvert walks onstage, stands next to Dave for ten seconds, then walks away; Dave now has twelve flags behind his desk; Dave and Martha Stewart make Beef Wellington; live via satellite from Dallas, Al Cordova is stuffed into a giant duffel bag.