9x131 - John Ashcroft

April 9, 2002

Dave models a hideous pair of glasses he found in his house; a woman from Portland, Oregon rides around in Al Norwood's 2001 Honda S2000; Dave tries to get Attorney General John Ashcroft to sing, but only does so during the commercial breaks.

9x132 - Sandra Bullock, Billy Norris, Sheryl Crow

April 10, 2002

After his reluctance to sing on last night's show, Dave is appalled to find US Attorney General John Ashcroft crooning "When The Eagles Soars" on TRL; Alan impersonates Fred MacMurray again; Sheryl Crow sings "Soak Up The Sun."

9x133 - Dee Dee Davis, Cameron Diaz, The Strokes

April 11, 2002

Dave receives another comedy class project from Miss Markey's Kindergarten class, while The Strokes perform "Take It or Leave It."

9x134 - Matthew Conaughey, John Witherspoon

April 12, 2002

Dave receives an unexpected birthday greeting from Osama Bin Laden; CBS Mailbag is interrupted to that the Hi-Ho girls can bring out Daddy's cake; ten Air Force pilots present the Top Ten.

9x135 - Ashton Kutcher, Oliver Atukudzi

April 22, 2002

Dave mentions that he bumped his head over the weekend, then comments on the recent drought in NYC.

9x136 - Landon Shuffett, Seth Green, Elvis Costello

April 23, 2002

Dave mentions that Saddam Hussein's novel Zabibah and the King was been turned into a musical, and then shows a (bogus) promo for it's upcoming debut in Baghdad; seven-year-old billiards trick shot artist Landon Shuffett blows Dave away by shooting a row of thirteen balls into the corner pocket; Elvis Costello performs "Tear Off Your Own Head (It's A Doll Revolution)."

9x137 - Tiffani Thiessen, Bill Walton, Bonnie Raitt

April 24, 2002

Dave mentions Paul's appearance on tonight's episode of Ed, and shortly afterwards Paul wears the fake mustache he had to wear for the role; Alan and the Barbara Stanwyck look-alike perform another scene from Double Indemnity; Bonnie Raitt sings "I Can't Help You Now."

9x138 - Charlie Sheen, Paul Westerberg

April 25, 2002

Another "Incredible Dog Challenge" is postponed by rain; Dave wears his ugly red glasses again; Cee-Lo sings "Closet Freak."

9x139 - The Rock, Dwayne Kennedy

April 26, 2002

Dave and Paul talk about wrestling in preparation of his interview with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. During CBS Mailbag, "Mayor Bloomberg" (Gerard) offers Dave some pot, and Alan Kalter promotes the video "Osama Gone Wild."

9x140 - Charlie Sheen, Paul Westerberg

April 29, 2002

Dave shows various clips of Ted Danson looked scared/shocked from his recent miniseries Living With the Dead; Dave points out that the Late Show was chosen as the seventh greatest television program of all time; Paul Westerberg performs "Silent Film Star."

9x141 - Incredible Dog Challenge, Debra Messing, Wilco

April 30, 2002

The Incredible Dog Challenge is finally held out on 53rd Street, and throughout the night three dogs compete through a series of hurdles and tubes.

9x142 - Kirsten Dunst, Steve Nash, Angie Stone & The O'Jays

May 1, 2002

An "Incredible Cat Challenge" is thwarted when George Clarke's cat won't go through the obstacle course; Kirsten Dunst promotes Spider-Man; after Angie Stone and the O'Jays perform "Wish I Didn't Miss You," the house band closes the show by performing "Love Train."

9x143 - Tobey Maquire, Trey Anastasio

May 2, 2002

"Biff Henderson's America" visits the hamlet of Denver, Indiana; Dave comments on rumors that Bill Clinton may host a daytime talk show; Tobey Maguire does a really bad Rodney Dangerfield impression.

9x144 - Jennifer Garner, Jim Gaffigan

May 3, 2002

Mailbag: a letter about having your name mentioned on TV is somehow morphed into a request to see Alan getting the crap beat out of him. Later on in the segment, a letter about tornados has the same result, as an already bloodied Alan is further laid to waste. Also, Michael McIntee does a remote Top Ten from Central Park, while Jim Gaffigan discusses food and cleanliness.

9x145 - Mary Tyler Moore, Norah Jones

May 6, 2002

The outside cam catches Spider-Man jacking a car; Dave and Mary Tyler Moore play catch; Norah Jones performs "Don't Know Why."

9x146 - Richard Gere, Reggie Miller

May 7, 2002

Dave moans and groans over his latest dental work; Dave shows (obviously phony) footage of Peter Jennings doing World News Tonight in a Spider-Man costume; Richard Gere makes first appearance on the show since 1983.

9x147 - Will Ferrell, Tom Waits

May 8, 2002

Dave and Paul take apart wedding announcements in the New York Times; a staffer in a Spider-Man outfit successfully hails a taxi; Will Ferrell tells Dave what it's like to run the NYC marathon.

9x148 - Hugh Grant, Tony Hawk

May 9, 2002

Skateboarding great Tony Hawk demonstrates his wares out on 53rd Street.

9x149 - Gillian Andersen, Jonathan Katz

May 10, 2002

With Biff on vacation, Steph/Monty handles the pushpins live via telephone; during Mailbag, Paul demonstrates a hidden talent for cartwheels, and then mysteriously disappears; a Mother's Day tradition is started when the moms of ten celebrities present the Top Ten list; Dave and Gillian Anderson make out.

9x150 - Liza Minnelli

May 13, 2002

Dave chats with the latest Survivor loser Robert "The General" DeCanio, while Liza Minnelli performs "Some People" from the musical Gypsy.

9x151 - Kid Scientists, Allison Janney, Al Green

May 14, 2002

Nine guys in Spider-Man outfits, not to mention Dracula, Superman, and a cowboy cram themselves into a Subway restaurant; Tony Orlando dresses down Dave even though he interrupted him, then leaps into a chorus of "Knock Three Times"; when one of Lee Marek's kid scientists starts a very flammable demonstration, Dave demands that the band and everyone else onstage take for cover behind his desk.

9x152 - Alec Baldwin, Ted Nugent

May 15, 2002

Tony Mendez goes home with an audience member (see recap), while Dave and rocker/sportsman Ted Nugent cook rabbit.

9x153 - Stupid Human Tricks, Natalie Portman, X-ecutioners, Xzhibit, Biohazard

May 16, 2002

Dave shows footage from rehearsal of Kenny McGowan tripping over the "Will It Float" tank; Biff visits the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indy 500 time trials; a participant in tonight's "Stupid Human Tricks" that can maneuver a tennis racquet all over his body flirts with Natalie Portman in the green room.

9x154 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Brian Regan

May 17, 2002

Mailbag: Martha Stewart fills in for Biff on the pushpin board, Harold Larkin goes hitchhiking, and Tony is humiliated on Blind Date. Also, Brian Regan comments on his inability to spell names correctly.

9x155 - Vecepia Towerey, Hilary Swank, The Firecrackers

May 20, 2002

Steph/Monty is mentioned in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly; Dave calls New York Highway Superintendent Drew Outhouse to resolve an awkward social situation; The Kalter Twins perform "I've Got You Babe"; The Firecrackers, a synchronized jump rope team, demonstrate their wares on-stage.

9x156 - Diane Sawyer, Jesse Martin

May 21, 2002

Dave shows real footage of a woman being questioned on the news wearing a Late Show t-shirt; Diane Sawyer brags about her recent weight loss; Dave chats with Australian teen Jesse Martin, the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo.

9x157 - Jennifer Lopez, April Kleinschmidt, Patty Loveless

May 22, 2002

Trumpter Terence Blanchard sits in; in honor of David Blaine's recent stunt in which he stands on a eighty-foot platform for several days, George Clarke attempts to stand on a folding chair for the duration of the show; Dave chats with April Kleinschmidt, the sole graduate of the Class of 2002 at Harrold High School in South Dakota.

9x158 - Jon Favreau, David Rakoff, Anton Figg

May 23, 2002

Alan asks passerby for their reaction to the new Star Wars prequel and ends up making a scene. Also, Anton Fig and Ivan Neville perform "Inside Out" from the CBS Orchestra drummer's new album, Figments.

9x159 - Charles Grodin, Wendy Liebman

May 24, 2002

Dave announces that Paul will be called Pablo this summer, which will go into effect immediately; Dave promises tonight's show will be "smooth and suave"; during Mailbag, an audience member asks Dave what his most embarrassing moment was, and we watch a (phony) clip of Dave performing with The Firecrackers last week.

9x160 - Jimmy Kimmel, Tom Dreesen, Goo Goo Dolls

June 3, 2002

While showing photos from her trip to the Indianapolis 500, Dave calls Steph/Monty "Dutch"; the snake lady performs again on "Is This Anything?"; Tom Dreesen tells various tales of Hollywood hobnobbing.

9x161 - Celine Dion, Helio Castroneves

June 4, 2002

Dave accuses Rupert of product placement on "May We See Your Photos, Please"; Alan addresses the Queen of England in a rather inappropriate way; Celine Dion performs "I'm Alive" and jumps into the audience.

9x162 - Chris Rock, Jack Johnson

June 5, 2002

Dave and Paul try to figure out a strange gesture that Celine Dion made during her TV concert earlier that week. Later, Chris Rock talks about Don King and Bucky Dent.

9x163 - Nicolas Cage, Abi Thomas, Jimmy Eat World

June 6, 2002

An audience member explains to Dave how to pronounce the name of her hometown: "You're saying Morristown. It's not Morristown. It's Morristown." Also, Dave chats with Abi Thomas, a jogger who was attacked by a bear at Yellowstone National Park.

9x164 - Zach Braff, Kathleen Madigan

June 7, 2002

Mailbag: "Is This Anything?" fave Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl stands next to Biff while he puts the pushpins in the map; twelth floor receptionist Art Garfunkel provides his own on-hold music; Alan beats the crap out of an Amish guy, then when Dave explains that the Amish are pacifists, Alan heads back to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, accuses the Amish guy of being brainwashed by Dave, and beats him up again.

9x165 - Christian Slater, David Bowie

June 10, 2002

Dave comments on the Nets' playoff run; Alan performs another scene from Double Indemnity, this time with a Edward G. Robinson stand-in; David Bowie performs "Slow Burn."

9x166 - Sarah Michelle Gellar, John McEnroe

June 11, 2002

Sarah Michelle Geller promotes Scooby-Doo while John McEnroe tells Dave a funny story about getting thrown out of the Australian Open back in his playing days.

9x167 - Freddie Prinze, Jr., Alicia Keys

June 12, 2002

Dave and Paul talk about their cholesterol levels; Freddie Prinze, Jr. promotes Scooby-Doo; Alicia Keys sings "How Come You Don't Call Me?"

9x168 - Jodie Foster, Jack Hanna

June 13, 2002

9x169 - Matt Damon, Marc Maron

June 14, 2002

Biff does his pushpin schtick live from the Grand Canyon, and Dave persuades him to yell "Hey, Mommy!" just to see if there's an echo. Also, Paul does a somewhat convincing James Brown impression, suffers a nervous breakdown onstage, and Dave comes by to bring him his cape.

9x170 - Stupid Human Tricks, Tom Cruise, The Flatlanders

June 17, 2002

Dave takes inventory of all his favorite clips (the "wild dingo," the baby owl eating the mouse, Dubya looking confused, etc.); Tom Cruise shows off his braces; during a segment called "Don't Try This At Home," Mike McIntee sprays Windex into his mouth.

9x171 - Ellen DeGeneres, Al Franken

June 18, 2002

George Clarke stands on the roof of the Studio 54 building to hit golf balls, hoping to go over the Ed Sullivan Theater and break glass on the WPI building on its far side. After successfully breaking one window, Steph/Monty, Alan, and Al Franken each take a few swings at the windows.

9x172 - Piedmont Birdcallers, Lauren Ambrose, Moby

June 19, 2002

The bird callers of Piedmont High School demonstrate their wares once more; Moby sings "We Are Made of Stars."

9x173 - Harrison Ford, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead

June 20, 2002

The U.S. National Team presents "Top Ten Ways to Get Americans Excited About Soccer;" Dave brags about buying his first car at Harrison Ford; The Trail of Dead performs "Relative Ways."

9x174 - Connie Chung, Gary Mule Deer

June 21, 2002

Biff and Bruce Willis push pins in Hawaii during CBS Mailbag, while Dave lands on the cover of "Martha Stewart Living."

9x175 - Will Smith, Landon Donovan, Yo Yo Ma & The Silk Road Project

June 24, 2002

Will Smith promotes "Men In Black 2," while the US Men's World Cup Soccer Team holds an exhibition on the roof of the theater.

9x176 - National Hollering Champions, Adam Sandler, Trik Turner

June 25, 2002

Dave makes several enlightening remarks about the National Hollerin' Champions from North Carolina, who later perform their winning hollers; Adam Sandler plugs Mr. Deeds.

9x177 - Tom Brokaw, Bow Wow

June 26, 2002

Dave reads from random wedding announcements in the New York Times in a segment called "Will It Last?"

9x178 - Michelle Williams, Barry Sonnenfeld

June 27, 2002

The audience is victorious once more when they play "Stump the Band." Later, Dave shows a very obnoxious commerical for the upcoming G-8 Summit.

9x179 - Christina Ricci, Daniel Tosh, Ben Kweller

June 28, 2002

The "Late Show CBS Mailbag Biff Henderson Map Across America Summer Tour" lands at the Statue of Liberty. Later, Ben Kweller performs "Wasted and Ready."

9x180 - Tom Hanks, Dolly Parton

July 8, 2002

Biff goes out in van, annoying people with a bullhorn. Later, Steph/Monty asks "Road to Perdition" star Tom Hanks, "During the filming, did the crew see or touch any monkeys?"

9x182 - Robin Williams, Pat Green

July 10, 2002

Dave talks about a snake in his house; Alan Kalter seduces a CPR dummy during a segment called "What's New for Summer;" Pat and Kenny read a transcript of Oprah's interview with Jennifer Lopez; Robin Williams promotes a movie and a broadway show.

9x183 - Paul Newman, Counting Crows

July 11, 2002

Dave plays "Know Your Current Events" with the audience. Later, Paul Newman talks about auto racing while promoting "Road to Perdition."

9x184 - Nathan Lane, Hugh Fink

July 12, 2002

Biff's Summer Tour stops at Niagara Falls. Meanwhile, during CBS Mailbag, George Clarke talks about his plans for the Fourth of July; Alan Kalter struts his "mastery" of the French language.

9x185 - Serena Williams, Tom Arnold, Dave Matthews Band

July 15, 2002

Dave admits to being in a disproportionatly good mood during a segment called "Late Show Newsmakers;" the Dave Matthews Band becomes the second band ever to perform on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.

9x186 - Catherine Keener, Mario Batali, Solomon Burke

July 16, 2002

Steph/Monty and Dave play another round of "Psychic Sandwich." Later, Dave wrecks havoc during a cooking segment with New York restaurant owner Mario Batali.

9x187 - Sarah Jessica Parker, Etta James

July 17, 2002

Sarah Jessica Parker talks about her unborn child; Alan appears to be on the brink of sanity; Dave stumps the audience with a "Beach Quiz."

9x188 - Geena Davis, Robert Plant

July 18, 2002

Just for the hell of it, the annual "Late Show Holiday Quarterback Challenge" is held in the middle of July; Dave quizzes the audience with "Know Your Current Events;" Robert Plant sings "Darkness, Darkness."

9x189 - Ted Koppel, Wendy Liebman

July 19, 2002

Biff's latest stop on his tour is Washington, DC; Dave chats with "Martha Stewart" (Gerard) and her lawyer made of pine cones during CBS Mailbag; Ted Koppel shows off his impeccable comic timing, then delivers a cape to Paul for his Friday night breakdown.

9x190 - Haley Joel Osment, Bill Scheft, Dashboard Confessional

July 22, 2002

George Clarke flies a kite from a taxi; Haley Joel Osment promotes his movie, "The Country Bears;" Dashboard Confessional performs "Saints and Sailors."

9x191 - Kristen Johnson, Kinky

July 23, 2002

Rupert goes golfing; Calvert DeForest turns 81; Kristen Johnston promotes her appearance in Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" in Central Park.

9x192 - Dana Carvey, Ben Kilham

July 24, 2002

Dave chats with a "bear rehabilitator;" Dana Carvey promotes his movie "Master of Disguise;" the "Charts and Graphs" segment reveals that the contents of Ding Dongs are 50% Dings and 50% Dongs.

9x193 - Amy Sedaris, Chazz Palminteri, Weezer

July 25, 2002

During "Know Your Current Events," Dave seems to fixate on attractive women. Later, Weezer plays "Keep Fishin'."

9x194 - Bill Cosby, Tift Merritt

July 26, 2002

During "CBS Mailbag," Paul exaggarates some of the many great tourist destinations of his hometown in Ontario. Later, Bill Cosby talks about his Congressional Medal of Honor.

9x195 - Julia Stiles, Mike Daisey, Wyclef Jean

July 29, 2002

It's the dog days of summer, which might explain why Biff is sitting on a block of ice. Later, Julia Stiles talks about her hair.

9x196 - Joan Rivers, Zooey Deschanel

July 30, 2002

Dave and Rupert play "The Late Show Celebrity X-Ray Challenge." Tonight's celebrity is James Caan.

9x197 - Blaine Mayhugh, Joaquin Phoenix, Little Richard

July 31, 2002

Dave reads articles from obscure newspapers in a segment called "Small Town News." Later, Little Richard sings "Good Golly, Miss Molly."

9x198 - Mike Myers, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

August 1, 2002

Mike Myers promotes "Austin Powers in Goldmember" and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band performs "The Rising."

9x199 - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Mitch Hedberg

August 2, 2002

Biff's Summer Tour continues as Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band perform "Lonesome Day."

9x200 - Matthew Perry, The Vines

August 19, 2002

Dave welcomes "Friends" star Matthew Perry, who is promoting a new movie. Meanwhile, a performance by the Aussie rock group The Vines blows the audience (and Dave) away.

9x201 - Robin Williams, James Taylor

August 20, 2002

Sitting in with the band tonight is an unknown winner from the previous night's Teen Choice Awards. Later, Robin Williams plugs "One Hour Photo."

9x202 - Al Pacino, Roger Clemens

August 21, 2002

Dave shows a timeline of President Bush's vacation, while Al Pacino promotes the movie "Simone."

9x203 - Elizabeth Hurley, Tom Ryan

August 23, 2002

Biff pushes pins into a map right in front of the famous Hollywood sign in L.A.; Alan and his twin brother Rick appear on "American Idol"; upon hearing of a proposed talk show hosted by Bill Clinton on CBS, Dave shows a promo for NBC's "The Saddam Hussein Show."

9x204 - Stupid Human Tricks, Jimmy Fallon, Dirty Vegas

August 26, 2002

"SNL" star Jimmy Fallon promotes the MTV Video Music Awards, which he's hosting.

9x205 - Chris Elliot, Eliza Dushku, Dixie Chicks

August 27, 2002

Dave announces that tomorrow night Paul will be inducted into the National Black Sports and Entertainment Hall of Fame. Later, Chris Elliott and Dave reminiscense.

9x206 - John Travolta, Nelly

August 28, 2002

Dave forces Steph/Monty to ask John Travolta, "How can I get in touch with the other Sweathogs?"

9x207 - Caroline Rhea, Jake Gyllenhall

August 29, 2002

Joe Perry of Aerosmith sits in with the band; Osama congratulates Dave for nine years at CBS; Jake Gyllenhall promotes "Moonlight Mile."

9x208 - Martin Short, Lewis Black

August 30, 2002

Biff Henderson ends his tour of the US during the "CBS Mailbag" segment (final stop: Mt. Rushmore) as Dave chats with "Dr. Steven Hatfill" (Gerard). Later, Dave welcomes "Jiminy Glick" star Martin Short.