0x1 - Fern: The Early Years

Fern's daughter gets married. Fern is faced with Harry's illness. Fern tells her daughter that children ruined her life. Fern and Harry host a Wild West charity event which ends up being cancelled when a cure for the disease if found. Fern refuses to put vanity plates on her Lincoln.

0x2 - Fern & Harry

Fern and her friend Jobie discuss how not to have sex. Fern is enjoying being a grandmother when she finds out that an alligator has eaten Harry. Fern gets a visit from Agent La Salle, finds her husband and then loses him again - this time to a shark. Fern recalls a high school date to see "An Affair to Remember."

0x3 - Linda

Linda and Candy hire a stalker to boost her image in the public eye but it backfires. Linda visits a prison inmate who once stalked her. Linda, a recovering sexaholic, falls off the wagon. Linda talks about marriage(s) but only gets to her husbands pre-1981. Linda sings.

0x4 - Janie

Janie's school years. Janie tells us how she benefits from charities. Janie admits her most secret desires to her psychiatrist and it involves a paddle. Janie believes that she is a successful magazine editor, because she can predict trends.

0x5 - New York

October 9, 1993

The Johnsons, Penny and Gordon, arrive in N.Y to see a Broadway musical, "Finnegan's Wake." Gordon gets the wrong subway train but agrees to meet Penny at the theatre. He gets mugged in Harlem, is chased by the police and eventually hitches a ride with a "disgruntled ex-employee" with a bomb. Penny has lunch with a handsome stranger, stumbles upon a photo shoot and becomes a model for an hour. She arrives at the theatre just in time to see Linda Granger (star of "Finnegan's Wake") get run over; she fills in for Linda. A disheveled Gordon arrives at the theatre. Penny performs to the amazement of Gordon and waves to him, or is it to the handsome stranger behind him? Family Reunion starts with Janie Pillsworth's parents working as Housekeepers for a rock star called, Brian Live. Janie, now a successful New York magazine editor, is at work being filmed by some documentarians. She is unaware that Byron, her co-worker, has hatched a scheme to discredit her by arranging for her supposedly dead parents to visit. It all comes to a head when Janie's parents arrive just as she's being interviewed. Janie learns to appreciate her family and decides to put them on the cover of her magazine. The Rosenthal Affair starts with Fern and Harry Rosenthal and their daughter, Sheila, arriving at a New York hotel for Sheila's wedding. They meet their future in-laws at the airport, Fern gets impatient and climbs up the baggage ramp. Fern begins to suspect that the in-laws are a little too perfect. It all comes to a head at the wedding, when Fern causes a scene. It ends happily when she discovers that Sheila's "too perfect" mother-in-law is a recovering alcoholic.

0x6 - Chris

0x7 - Hope

0x8 - Kay