If You're Dead - Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You

January 15, 2011

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1000 Ways to Die - S3 - E14

The origin of the phrase "Mad as a Hatter", a criminal's cries for help literally fall on deaf ears and a con artist who intentionally injures himself ends up getting a much worse unintentional injury.

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1000 Ways to Die: Season 3 - 41 Episode s

3x1 - Death on a Stick
August 3, 2010
A drunk man literally slides into death, a game of Russian Roulette has an unusual twist and a boy band's swan song ends with a swan dive.
3x2 - Putting a Smiley Face on Death
September 14, 2010
Russian mobsters share their last drink, a blonde bombshell literally lights up the night and a nature lover ends up joining the dead animal friend she tried to save.
3x3 - Stupid Is as Stupid Dies
September 21, 2010
A meth addict bites off more than he can chew, the sorority girl from hell gets sucked down into it and a young couple share their last kiss.
3x4 - Dead Wrongs
September 28, 2010
Two con men get blown away, a sushi chef becomes the butt of a joke and the deadly consequences of porn addiction.
3x5 - Fatal Distractions
October 5, 2010
A drug runner gets a heads up, a glutton goes belly up, a man-baby gets timed out, a nature hater gets turtle waxed, two stoners get bonged, a woman gets down and dirty and a man-hater gets feminated.
3x6 - The End Is Weird
October 19, 2010
A exhibitionist gets the shock of his life, a death that's literally hard to swallow & a street ball player gets some deadly hang time.
3x7 - Hurry Up and Die
October 26, 2010
An amateur car customer gets swept away, a cheapskate gets what he paid for and a real estate deal goes up in flames.
3x8 - Death Puts On a Dunce Cap
November 2, 2010
A hunter becomes the game, a soccer fan blows himself out and a crack addicted couple's world comes crashing down.
3x9 - Young, Dumb and Full of Death
November 9, 2010
A clumsy salesman burns out, a phony priest sees the gets sent to Kingdom Come and a when man does his own version of "Man vs. Wild", wild wins.
3x10 - Deep Fried Death
December 8, 2010
Death in the 70's! A mean girl gets a chubby bunny, a juicer gets juiced, a thief bites his tongue and a biker boy craps out.
3x11 - Cure for the Common Death Pt. II
December 15, 2010
A low rider gets crushed; nun chucks take out a dummy; Big Foot gets the boot; a case of spy vs. die; bikini girl swallows the wrong thing; a jockey gets thrown; an adult clown gets deep throated.
3x12 - Sudden Death
December 22, 2010
A geek has his revenge against a jock, the deadly results from a corset and a British torturer comes up with an idea for a man that's too tall for the rack.
3x13 - Dying to Tell the Story
December 29, 2010
A spoiled man learns the hard way to not fall asleep in the middle of Africa, an Amish man and a southern couple die sipping on the good stuff and in a battle of man against computer, the computer wins.
3x14 - If You're Dead - Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You
January 15, 2011
The origin of the phrase "Mad as a Hatter", a criminal's cries for help literally fall on deaf ears and a con artist who intentionally injures himself ends up getting a much worse unintentional injury.
3x15 - The One About Dumb People Dying!
February 8, 2011
A cremator gets creamed, Two luggage thieves steal the wrong bag and a pumpkin thief gets gourd and many other bizarre stories.
3x16 - Getting a Rise from the Dead
February 16, 2011
A sign spinner who picks a deadly way to flip his sign, a sneaky sous chef who picks the wrong place to hide from other staff and a mob hit by two mobsters that goes very wrong.
3x17 - Ready or Not, Here Comes Death
February 23, 2011
A Japanese game show contestant dives down but comes up dead, a parkour enthusisast takes an unhealthy leap and two drunk hunters finding out that dynamite usage can be hazardous to one's health.
3x18 - Grave Errors
March 2, 2011
A hairstylist discovering drugs and alcohol while working can be deadly, a pair of female con artists who find going into a flooded basement can be shocking and a cell phone addict meeting her end in a move theater.
3x19 - Killing Them Softly
March 9, 2011
A Nigerian scam artist who winds up on the wrong end of his latest con, a grave robber who falls victim to the graveyard surroundings and an ex-Nazi who falls victim to delayed justice.
3x20 - Better Them Than Us
March 16, 2011
A theater owner finding out that flying can lead to the final curtain call, a Russian who gets death from above and a Revolutionary war setting with explosive results for one man.
3x21 - Dead Before They Know It
March 23, 2011
A girl takes cream from an unaware roommate with deadly consequences, two Sudanese thieves get death from high in the sky and a holiday mall Santa who ends the season on an icy point.
3x22 - Stupid Is as Death Does
March 30, 2011
A drunk sitting in an old pilot's seat gets fatally launched, teenagers in a drinking game find smoking and booze can be deadly and a video game addict learns the hard way that long term playing can lead to a real life "game over".
3x23 - Mister Death
April 6, 2011
A football player's odd place for storing his gun has deadly results, a terrorist escapes only for his method of escaping leads to his demise and a bank robber losing his head during the attempted theft.
3x24 - Death, The New Black
July 18, 2011
A disco dancer takes a fatal spin on the dance floor, a sauna contest has deadly results for the last contestant and an obnoxious drunk meets a heavy end at a plus sized beauty pageant.
3x25 - Death Be a Lady Tonight
July 25, 2011
An obnonoxious man steals a cab ride and gets cut down literally, an unhinged woman learns there is a fatal way to stalk her ex and terrorists find out that death can come from an unseen enemy.
3x26 - Today’s Special: Death
August 1, 2011
A woman who lied about her welding experience gets an explosive payback, a Prohibition era gunman finds a steamy bath house room is not the place to pull a gun and a right wing political activist makes a fatal point.
3x27 - Eat, Pray Die
August 8, 2011
A Dark Ages witch hunter meets death by stones, a juvenile delinquent fools around with a piece of farm equipment with fatal results and a drunk at a bachelor party receives a sharp and fatal blow.
3x28 - Wait, Don't Tell Me – You’re Dead!
August 15, 2011
A neo-nazi opens up a can of whoop ass, an epileptic stripper goes lights out, a poser diver washes out, a bunch of drug smugglers get caught red handed, a voyeur gets hood winked, a stalker gets shafted and a prankster’s prank backfires.
3x29 - Death - The Gift That Lasts Forever
August 22, 2011
A cheatin' hubby gets eaten by a bear, an old pervert sex-plodes, a bride goes down at the altar, a package gets an anthrax surprise, an insomniac commits a hit and run, a bearded hipster drowns and a drunk worker's pants explode.
3x30 - Death: One Size Fits All
August 29, 2011
A bakery worker, a coal miner, an oil wrestler and a driving instructor meet untimely demises.
3x31 - Deadliest Kitsch
October 24, 2011
Dictator gets stuck; securtiy guard gets hosed; rock climber falls; cyclist runs out of breath; circus clown meets an insane posse.
3x32 - Grave Decisions
October 31, 2011
Politico has a sneezing fit; a gun toting man blows up; a dirty biker gets justice; camper boils over with love.
3x33 - Dirt Nap
November 7, 2011
A bank robber sticks his neck out for a friend, red head gets taken down, a badass teen meets a mail box, a sheister shopper takes a dip, a fat man loses face, and a fart that kills.
3x34 - Death Takes a Vacation
November 14, 2011
Food trucker gets fried; chemical engineer gets burned; drug dealer goes for a trip; mime is silenced.
3x35 - Wild Wild Death
November 21, 2011
An inside job sucks the air out of a room; a superhero tries to fly; girl wants to strangle her boss.
3x36 - Death Penalties
January 25, 2012
Wedding singer gets choked up, muscle bound woman meets her maker, wanna be chef loses face, french maid gets stuck on iron maiden, mugger spills own guts, a "winning" tv star gets cancelled.
3x37 - Die-abestic
February 1, 2012
A lady puckers up one last time, a tow truck driver becomes a head banger, a waitress gets a bad tip, a food critic forgets the point, turkey gets hit with a turkey, neck massager takes a woman’s breath away, a dancer loses heart.
3x38 - Star Death: The Last Generation
February 8, 2012
Cat Lady’s love goes too fur, a burglar falls for his victim, a mob boss is given the finger, a nasty supermodel is given a dead eye, a customer is left breathless by great savings, a guy rolls over the point.
3x39 - Death – Putting the “Fun” in “Funeral”
February 22, 2012
Trainer and barbells meet, a polygamist falls for his own trap, lady misses the point of marriage, a couple wine and die, cable thief gets screwed, ticket scalper doesn't beat a light, dodgeballer has to dodge more than balls.
3x40 - Sor-Dead Affair
February 29, 2012
A man sexes up a statue, a sleep walker goes for a swim, hot headed swimming instructor gets over heated, bad parrot sitter takes a fall, rioter gets the wind knocked out of him, and a man dies with a happy ending.
3x41 - Locked and Low Dead
February 29, 2012
Socialite goes green, man with short fuse finally blows, woman high jumps to her death, crooked cop has the smell of decay, a wormy scam artist, trippy trip to the market, lame mad scientist gets burned.

3x1 - Death on a Stick

3x2 - Putting a Smiley Face on Death

3x3 - Stupid Is as Stupid Dies

3x4 - Dead Wrongs

3x5 - Fatal Distractions

3x6 - The End Is Weird

3x7 - Hurry Up and Die

3x8 - Death Puts On a Dunce Cap

3x9 - Young, Dumb and Full of Death

3x10 - Deep Fried Death

3x11 - Cure for the Common Death Pt. II

3x12 - Sudden Death

3x13 - Dying to Tell the Story

3x14 - If You're Dead - Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You

3x15 - The One About Dumb People Dying!

3x16 - Getting a Rise from the Dead

3x17 - Ready or Not, Here Comes Death

3x18 - Grave Errors

3x19 - Killing Them Softly

3x20 - Better Them Than Us

3x21 - Dead Before They Know It

3x22 - Stupid Is as Death Does

3x23 - Mister Death

3x24 - Death, The New Black

3x25 - Death Be a Lady Tonight

3x26 - Today’s Special: Death

3x27 - Eat, Pray Die

3x28 - Wait, Don't Tell Me – You’re Dead!

3x29 - Death - The Gift That Lasts Forever

3x30 - Death: One Size Fits All

3x31 - Deadliest Kitsch

3x32 - Grave Decisions

3x33 - Dirt Nap

3x34 - Death Takes a Vacation

3x35 - Wild Wild Death

3x36 - Death Penalties

3x37 - Die-abestic

3x38 - Star Death: The Last Generation

3x39 - Death – Putting the “Fun” in “Funeral”

3x40 - Sor-Dead Affair

3x41 - Locked and Low Dead

S0: Specials

S1: Season 1

S2: Season 2

S3: Season 3

S4: Season 4

S5: Season 5

S6: Season 6

S7: Season 7

S8: Season 8