1x1 - Pilot

September 11, 1995

In the pilot episode,The Clayton's consider buying a house to move out of their dinky little apartment. Meanwhile,Danny's best friend Jane is staying over (a lot),because as it is soon revealed,her mother is sleeping around.

1x2 - A Woman's Work is Never Done

September 13, 1995

Alice applies for a job as a legal secretary,then is fired from her head cashier's position when her boss learns of the interview. Meanwhile,Danny brings home Matthew,her first boyfriend (who is 14,two years older than her),and then is crushed when her school mates spread lewd accusations about her and Matthew.

1x3 - Company Loves Misery

September 20, 1995

Ever-bickering Lenny and Phyllis hope to inject some romance into their marriage by tagging along for Burt and Alice's anniversary celebration.

1x4 - A Date Which Will Live in Infamy

September 27, 1995

Alice and Burt are divided over whether to let 12-year-old Danny go to the movies alone with Matthew. Meanwhile, everyone's plans are stalled when the family car is stolen while Alice is at the an ATM.

1x5 - I Am Not My Sister's Keeper

October 11, 1995

Burt has never been fond of his sister's boyfriend, and the latest one is no exception.

1x6 - Where There's Smoke, You're Fired

October 18, 1995

Frustrated by her jerk of a teenage boss at her temporary job, Alice starts smoking again -- and catches Danny in the mall washroom with a pack of cigarettes; Burt tries to resist Vicki's amorous advances.

1x7 - The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

October 25, 1995

Burt's dogged by a guilty conscience when he forgets to pick up Sean from school, so he tries to make amends by getting him a puppy.

1x8 - A Fight a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

November 1, 1995

The Claytons resume their house hunting and also decide to get a new life-insurance policy, but Burt fears he won't pass the required physical exam.

1x10 - The Postman Always Moves Twice

November 15, 1995

Before moving into their new home, the Claytons trash their apartment to get back at their landlord.But unforunately the new house isn't ready and their stuck in their old apartment,while the heat is on full blast and the water's cut off.

1x11 - Neither a Borrower Nor a Landlord Be

November 22, 1995

Forced to choose between having a deranged neighbor of having ""our house foreclosed on before we even make the first mortgage payment,"" the Claytons decide to rent out their new home.

1x12 - If It Ain't Broke, Break It

December 13, 1995

Burt buys an expensive reclining chair from an obnoxious salesman.

1x13 - Misery on 34th Street

December 20, 1995

It's a joyless Christmas at the Claytons' when Alice's mother Sheila arrives with unwanted advice on how to discipline Danny, leaving Burt to play referee for the feuding females.

1x14 - The Bowling Method

January 3, 1996

After one pregnancy scare too many, Burt and Alice decide that one of them will have to undergo surgery.

1x15 - One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Stereo

January 10, 1996

1x16 - Natural Born Parents

January 17, 1996

When Danny gets an A in English, Burt and Alice are understandably proud, but then they discover it was because of her school project -- corresponding with a pen pal who happens to be a mass murderer.