A House Is Not a Home

April 30, 1987

70.0%

Cheers - S5 - E25

Diane is haunted by the memories of the couple who lived a long and happy life together in the home she and Sam have purchased.

Tweet! Telegram Facebook Pinterest

Cheers: Season 5 - 26 Episode s

5x1 - The Proposal
September 25, 1986
We finally found out who Sam's telephone proposal at the end of the last episode was to - Diane! But Diane fears that Sam is meerely on the rebound after breaking up with Janet, so asks him to repeat the proposal in a more romantic occasion, but when he does (on a boat), she refuses, causing Sam to make her walk the plank. Later Diane says she does want to get married, but Sam has now retracted the proposal.
5x2 - The Cape Cad
October 2, 1986
Diane follows Sam to Cape Cod in an effort to ruin his weekend with another woman.
5x3 - Money Dearest
October 9, 1986
Cliff's ecstatic when his mother decides to marry a wealthy man until the groom decides to give it all away to charity.
5x4 - Abnormal Psychology
October 16, 1986
Diane tries to help Lilith, the lady psychologist attracted to Frasier, to soften her appearance and surprise Frasier during their television debate.
5x5 - House of Horrors with Formal Dining and Used Brick
October 30, 1986
Cliff finds a reasonably priced older home for Carla to buy that turns out to be haunted.
5x6 - Tan 'n' Wash
November 6, 1986
The gang insists on getting in on Norm's new business investment then complains bitterly when it looks like a washout.
5x7 - Young Dr. Weinstein
November 13, 1986
Stung by Diane's attitude, Sam tries to impress her by getting reservations at the most exclusive restaurant in Boston.
5x8 - Knights of the Scimitar
November 20, 1986
Cliff prods a reluctant Norm to join his lodge and Sam thinks Diane has invented a suitor to make him jealous.
5x9 - Thanksgiving Orphans
November 27, 1986
The gang gathers at Carla's house for a Thanksgiving dinner of frozen turkey and overdone peas.
5x10 - Everyone Imitates Art
December 4, 1986
Diane becomes obsessed with tracking down a poem she's sure Sam plagiarized and had published in a literary magazine that has repeatedly turned her work down.
5x11 - The Book of Samuel
December 11, 1986
Woody delves into Sam's legendary black book to find a date to impress his former girl friend, who is coming to Cheers to introduce her fiancé.
5x12 - Dance, Diane, Dance
December 18, 1986
Frasier's effort to lighten a dance instructor's harsh criticism of Diane's efforts backfires when she decides to audition for the Boston Ballet.
5x13 - Chambers vs. Malone
January 8, 1987
Sam proposes to Diane again and ends up charged with assault and battery when she turns him down again.
5x14 - Diamond Sam
January 15, 1987
Sam regrets trying to buy Diane an engagement ring that is a cheap imitation.
5x15 - Spellbound
January 22, 1987
Diane and Carla console Loretta, who has caught Nick cheating on her. They counsel her to stand on her own two feet and leave Nick. When Nick comes into the bar to claim her back, a chivalrous Sam stands up for her. Nick takes that as a sign that Sam has stolen Loretta from him. So Nick threatens to steal the same from Sam, that being Diane. Nick makes an attempt to wine and dine Diane, then Loretta, then Carla and then any of the three who will give him the time of day. Meanwhile, Frasier, the chess expert, has met his match in simpleton Woody.
5x16 - Never Love a Goalie (1)
January 29, 1987
Carla falls for Eddie, a hockey goalie; meanwhile, Diane is foreman of a jury in an attempted murder trial.
5x17 - Never Love a Goalie (2)
February 5, 1987
Carla and Eddie are now in a relationship. Ever since Carla blew him the kiss and Eddie let in that cheap goal, Eddie has been on a slump. The most superstitious couple ever, Eddie and Carla analyze Eddie's life routine since the slump started, the only change in routine being Carla in his life. Not only does Carla come to the conclusion that she may be a jinx, but so does every one else in the bar. Carla has to decide to dump Eddie and have him regain his winning streak, or stay with Eddie at the price of the Bruins. Or is there another solution? Meanwhile, Diane is still at the trial and still talking to whoever will listen to her. Reminiscent of 12 Angry Men (1957), Diane stands alone in the jury as the dissenting voice thinking that the accused is guilty, comparing the relationship of the accused and his victim wife to Sam and herself. If she can't win in the court of law, she figures, out of a streak of good luck, that she can win outside the legal system.
5x18 - One Last Fling
February 12, 1987
For the bachelor party the guys at the bar throw for Sam, Woody offhandedly asks Diane if she would be the girl who jumps out of the cake. Although she abhors such male sexual rituals, she agrees if only to stop someone else from "pleasuring" Sam. At the party, just as Diane is ready to come out of the cake, Norm makes a comment which makes Sam re examine out loud for the first time this wedding and the fact that Diane will now be the one and only woman in his life. After jumping out of the cake mad at Sam for his comments, Diane later offers Sam a proposition: she will give him a last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases. Sam excitedly agrees until Diane throws in that she too will have her last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever she pleases with whomever she pleases. Will Sam still go along with Diane's plan and if so what will he do and what will she do?
5x19 - Dog Bites Cliff
February 19, 1987
On his postal route, Cliff is bitten by a dog, and decides to sue the owner for ,000. Madeline, the dog's owner, ends up being a beautiful, voluptuous woman, but one that is up front about wanting to help Cliff despite the fact that she has little money. Cliff and Madeline start dating, the gang at the bar thinking that it only a ploy on her part for Cliff not to sue. Cliff realizes this is the case, but is still dating her in hopes of trading dropping the lawsuit for a roll in the sack. Madeline announces to everyone that her lawyer wants her to get Cliff to sign a waiver to absolve her of any responsibility, but she refuses to do so. Perhaps Madeline really does like Cliff. Or maybe she's got other methods of getting her way. Madeline and Cliff make it all the way to bed in a nice suite at the Ritz, when... Meanwhile, Diane is off on a Buddhist monastery retreat for a couple of weeks.
5x20 - Dinner at Eight-ish
February 26, 1987
Frasier and Lilith invite Sam and Diane over for dinner to celebrate their first week of cohabitation. But things start going wrong when Lilith finds out Frasier and Diane were engaged, and she locks herself in the bathroom. Then Sam and Diane have an argument as well. Meanwhile Cliff agrees to babysit Carla's kids.
5x21 - Simon Says
March 5, 1987
Diane badgers a noted British marriage counselor into seeing her and Sam for a pre-nuptial session, then refuses to heed his advice.
5x22 - The Godfather, Part III
March 19, 1987
Sam's goddaughter Joyce Pantusso (the late Coach's niece) has come to Boston for a visit. Not wanting her to get into trouble, Sam asks Woody to help her out and show her around - but Woody and Joyce have a surprise for Sam when they get engaged!
5x23 - Norm's First Hurrah
March 26, 1987
Norm elaborates on his new position with a top CPA firm and is caught in his little white lies when the gang decides to surprise him at work. Meanwhile Cliff finds a note - and Woody has lost one.
5x24 - Cheers: The Motion Picture
April 2, 1987
The gang tries to reassure a nervous Mr. and Mrs. Boyd back in Indiana that Woody is fine and has wonderful friends in Boston by making a home movie of an average day at Cheers.
5x25 - A House Is Not a Home
April 30, 1987
Diane is haunted by the memories of the couple who lived a long and happy life together in the home she and Sam have purchased.
5x26 - I Do, Adieu
May 7, 1987
Dr. Sumner Sloane returns to Cheers on Diane and Sam's wedding day to tell her that a publisher is interested in one of her class manuscripts if she can go to work immediately on rewrites.

5x1 - The Proposal

5x2 - The Cape Cad

5x3 - Money Dearest

5x4 - Abnormal Psychology

5x5 - House of Horrors with Formal Dining and Used Brick

5x6 - Tan 'n' Wash

5x7 - Young Dr. Weinstein

5x8 - Knights of the Scimitar

5x9 - Thanksgiving Orphans

5x10 - Everyone Imitates Art

5x11 - The Book of Samuel

5x12 - Dance, Diane, Dance

5x13 - Chambers vs. Malone

5x14 - Diamond Sam

5x15 - Spellbound

5x16 - Never Love a Goalie (1)

5x17 - Never Love a Goalie (2)

5x18 - One Last Fling

5x19 - Dog Bites Cliff

5x20 - Dinner at Eight-ish

5x21 - Simon Says

5x22 - The Godfather, Part III

5x23 - Norm's First Hurrah

5x24 - Cheers: The Motion Picture

5x25 - A House Is Not a Home

5x26 - I Do, Adieu

S0: Specials

S1: Season 1

S2: Season 2

S3: Season 3

S4: Season 4

S5: Season 5

S6: Season 6

S7: Season 7

S8: Season 8

S9: Season 9

S10: Season 10

S11: Season 11