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I Wish I Were Gus
Everybody Loves Raymond - S1 - E3
It seems "even dead people love Raymond," as reticent Ray learns when he's chosen to deliver the eulogy at his great uncle's funeral. It's an occasion that serves as a reunion for Ray's mother and her feuding sister, Alda.
Everybody Loves Raymond: Season 1 - 22 Episode s
1x1 - Pilot
September 13, 1996
Debra is sick and tired of having Raymond's parents and his brother show up unannounced. With her birthday coming up they try not to get his parents and brother to come over.
1x2 - I Love You
September 20, 1996
When newlywed friends make a public display of their affection, Debra wonders why reticent Raymond has trouble saying those three little words.
1x3 - I Wish I Were Gus
September 27, 1996
It seems "even dead people love Raymond," as reticent Ray learns when he's chosen to deliver the eulogy at his great uncle's funeral. It's an occasion that serves as a reunion for Ray's mother and her feuding sister, Alda.
1x4 - Standard Deviation
October 4, 1996
For a criminal-psychology course, Robert issues standard IQ tests to Raymond and Debra and boy, is Raymond smarting when they get the results. But his feelings change when he discovers that Robert was playing mind games with them by telling each they scored hired than the other.
1x5 - Look Don't Touch
October 11, 1996
Nemo's niece, Angelina, takes employment at Nemo's as a waitress at Nemo's. When Angelina catches Ray's eye, he has a lot of explaining to do to his wife, Debra especially when Angelina calls him at home. Ray accidentally leaves his wallet at Nemo's, and Angelina calls him at home to let him know she found it. But, because he feels guilty about his innocent attraction, Ray denies ever knowing her. When the situation is blown out of proportion by the Barone family, Debra decides to visit Nemo's to see what all the fuss is about.
1x6 - Frank, the Writer
October 18, 1996
When Frank gets a few anecdotes published in Reader's Digest, he submits his writing samples to Ray's editor, hoping to get his own column in the newspaper. Frank, feeling he has a new lease on life, convinces Ray to submit his story ideas for the column, which he plans to call "I Was Just Thinking." Ray then has to break the news to his father that the editor thinks Frank's writing is the most embarrassing work he's ever read.
1x7 - Your Place or Mine?
October 28, 1996
Marie gets fed up with Frank after 40 years of marriage and moves in with Ray and Debra. Ray and Robert enjoy being mothered by Marie, and Debra spends quality time with Frank. Frank discovers salsa.
1x8 - In-Laws
November 1, 1996
When Ray's upper class in-laws come for a visit, he begs his parents to be nice to them and accept their differences even though their lifestyles are worlds apart. Ray admits to his parents that he doesn't always see eye-to-eye with Debra's folks but manages to fake it and he'd like his parents to do the same when they all go out and try to have a family dinner. The request, however, proves to be a tall order for Frank and Marie.
1x9 - Win, Lose or Draw
November 8, 1996
Ray gets tired of being treated like a kid at his father's poker game, so he ignores his father's advice and ends up losing all his money. Debra wants Ray to act like a mature adult and ask Frank for his money back, but Ray is too stubborn. Meanwhile, it turns out that Frank was only trying to teach Ray a lesson - that you can always go to your father and he'll make everything okay.
1x10 - Turkey or Fish
November 22, 1996
Although Marie has always cooked the traditional turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, Debra decides it's her turn to prepare the holiday meal, but, not wanting to compete with Marie's turkey, she chooses to serve fish which upsets the apple cart. Marie, feeling threatened when her family thinks Debra's fish idea is perfectly acceptable, decides to bring her own turkey to the dinner party to prove that she's the better cook. Meanwhile, Ray's idea of a traditional holiday at home becomes even more untraditional when the relatives opt not to watch football.
1x11 - Captain Nemo
December 13, 1996
When Ray's "free" time goes to coaching his basketball team in preparation for the Pizza League championships, he is reminded by Debra that their kids are growing up fast and he's missing precious time with them. When Robert is forced out as captain of Nemo's basketball team, Ray gets the title and the opportunity to lead his team to victory. Meanwhile, Frank and Marie are upset with Ray for de-throning Robert as captain, and feeling guilty Ray begs Robert to re-join the team.
1x12 - The Ball
December 20, 1996
Ray discovers, after many years, that the autographed Mickey Mantle ball he got as a kid from his father isn't authentic. Feeling hurt by the fact that his father was not truthful about the ball, Ray decides he's going to tell Ally the truth about Santa Claus. But when two familiar looking Santas unexpectedly show up at his house to surprise Ally, she's even more confused – about the truth.
1x13 - Debra's Sick
January 3, 1997
When Debra comes down with the flu and is bedridden, inexperienced Raymond must take care of her and the three kids.
1x14 - Who's Handsome?
January 17, 1997
Raymond can't face the fact that everybody thinks that his brother Robert is "classically handsome," while he is merely "adorable like a hamster." Robert is reluctant to go on a date because he's insecure about his appearance, so when Debra tells him he's attractive, Ray starts feeling insecure about his own looks. Ray's jealous of his brother's looks when he overhears Debra compliment Robert. So, Ray decides to get a head-to-toe makeover to impress Debra, including a fake tan like George Hamilton.
1x15 - The Car
January 31, 1997
Debra, already annoyed at getting stuck driving the old car Ray bought from his parents, really gets upset when she discovers that it was his old "make-out-mobile." Debra had been unable to understand why Ray wanted so desperately to buy his parents' old car, until Robert mistakenly blurts out that it's the car in which Ray first "got lucky" as a teenager with his girlfriend. Imagining what might have happened in the car during its earlier life, Debra decides not to drive it again.
1x16 - Diamonds
February 7, 1997
Ray finds out that the diamond on Debra's engagement ring is a fake, so he steals it from her to get it changed, only to find out after that she already had it changed. She had her grandma's ,000 diamond put in.
1x17 - The Game
February 21, 1997
When Ray and his family play a game of "Scruples" after their cable goes out and they have nothing but time on their hands, they find themselves arguing about honesty. To make matters worse, when Ray complains to the cable company about the disruption in service, he is informed that he has an illegal hookup – courtesy of his dad.
1x18 - Recovering Pessimist
February 28, 1997
When Debra tries to change Ray's pessimistic attitude about winning the "Sports Writer of the Year Award," he agrees to change his ways and become more upbeat – and suffers the downside of being the only optimist in his family. When Ray finally starts feeling good about himself and his recent accomplishments, his family is surprised by the change in his personality and accuses him of being a "bragger with a swelled head."
1x19 - The Dog
March 3, 1997
Ray brings home a stray bulldog that reminds him of the dog he had to give up as a boy due to his allergies, but his brother, Robert, bonds with the animal and the siblings then have to decide who gets to keep him. When the owner of the dog arrives at the Barones' to pick up what turns out to be her prize-winning stud, she discovers that he has been fixed and isn't worth anything to her but that he means everything to Ray and Robert.
1x20 - Neighbors
March 10, 1997
Irate neighbors are seriously up in arms over Ray's noisy dad and meddling mom so they demand a powwow at Ray's house, where his parents stumble upon the raucous caucus.
1x21 - Fascinatin' Debra
March 17, 1997
A popular radio psychologist comes to the house to interview Debra for a book on the American family. But the doctor finds that the rest of the eccentric Barones are more captivating, leaving "normal" Debra feeling left out because she's not "quirky or funny or interesting."
1x22 - Why Are We Here?
April 7, 1997
In this flashback episode, Ray and Debra remember their days in their first apartment. Debra finds out she's having twins, and so they decide they need a house. Ray maps a strategy where they are not close enough for everyday visits from his folks but not far enough for overnight stays. A mustached Robert discovers his wife wants a divorce. Part-time realtor Frank finds Ray and Debra a perfect house across the street from him and Marie. Debra decides living across from her in-laws is a good idea.