6x18 - The Play's the Thing

January 9, 1988

The Keaton kids are dismayed when the local playhouse agree to stage Steven's radical 60's college play, ""A Draft Card for the Burning"". Embarrassed by the script's laughably dated hippie lingo, they are not surprised when Elyse refuses to reprise her leading role as Sequola Free, the play's sexy activist/anthropology student. Crushed by her decision, Steven goes off in a huff to cast another actress. But after numerous fruitless auditions, Elyse finally succumbs to Steven's wishes. Just as she predicts, Steven becomes insanely jealous of her leading man and finds it impossible to separate his dual roles as husband and director. Elyse and her co-star, local dentist Jeff Cooper, grow frustrated with Steven, who keeps changing the script to avoid any intimacy between them. When opening night arrives, Elyse and Jeff are rather uneasy about Steven's changes, which include turning a passionate kiss into a high-five slap. After complying with the high-five sign, the artistically stifled El