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- Season 1
- Episode 20
Comedy Sales Techniques
Fernwood 2 Night - S1 - E20
Insurance salesman Elliott J. Tubbs demonstrates his comedy sales techniques. Happy Kyne on shut-ins.
Fernwood 2 Night: Season 1 - 65 Episode s
1x1 - Talk to a Jew
July 4, 1977
Barth talks about his unusual day-to-day contract. Howard Palmer, a man in an iron lung, plays the piano. ""Talk to a Jew"" -- Morton Rose answers audience questions. (""When is Barbra Streisand's next movie coming out?"")
1x2 - Leisure Suits Cause Cancer
July 5, 1977
Barth thanks the viewers for their support that got him renewed for another episode. Rocket to Stardom: Baby Irene sings ""I Didn't Know the Gun Was Loaded"". Barth talks to her about gun control. Happy talks about his nostrils. From Fernwood Commmunity College: Doctor Richard Osgood has proof that leisure suits cause cancer. (You see, they dress up the mice in tiny leisure suits... No, really!) Bury the Hatchet: Iris and Joseph Case want their son, a Catholic priest, to come back to them. Howard Palmer plays, while Baby Irene dances.
1x3 - The Wonderblender
July 6, 1977
Barth introduces his dad. The body language of April McTear -- contortionist. Lou Moffatt plugs Blendermatic, the Wonderblender. The owner of the Butterfly Deli, Susan Cloud (""...the body _requires_ burgers""). Barth's father Garth Sr. and his idiot dog perform,
1x4 - Corporal Punishment I
July 7, 1977
Hula hoopist Darius Washington. South Vietnamese gardener Mein Ko Thein (?) plugs his book: ""Yankee Doodle Gook"". The Other Side of the News:High School Principal Marshall O. Petty discusses corporal punishment by demonstrating it on Debbie Dunbar. Lastly, Garth Sr. and his dumb dog.
1x5 - Corporal Punishment II
July 8, 1977
Barth talks with Debbie Dunbar's mother. Since ""last weeks"" on-air spanking, Debbie has gotten several lucrative modeling jobs. Russ Tuttle, the Fernwood coroner talks about cut rate funeral alternatives; Mrs. Dunbar appears with both of her daughters, shamelessly plugging the phone number for her ""talent agency"". Jerry rambles on about families. Barth sings ""Feelings"" while Debbie does cheerleader stuff. Once again, Garth and Louie.
1x6 - Fernwood Fascinating Females
July 11, 1977
Vernon Taylor (AKA ""Uncle Sam, Jr"") reads one of his poems, Candy Lee Hargrove talks about the Fernwood Fascinating Females League.
1x7 - Hearing Ear Dogs for the Deaf
July 12, 1977
Pet control center director Connie Bushman on Hearing Ear Dogs for the Deaf. Also: dancer Lisa Martin; Garth Gimble, Sr. and his dog.
1x8 - Congressman Chambers
July 13, 1977
1x9 - No-frills Hospitals
July 14, 1977
Ambassador-at-large Harold Mislap talks about his efforts to bring tourism to Fernwood, Dr. Richard Osgood presents his no-frills hospital plan.
1x10 - Ethnic Myths
July 15, 1977
Daredevil Virgil Simms; Emanuel Kasinski on his latest findings on ethnic myths and prejudice.
1x11 - Lillian Dunbar
July 18, 1977
Grandmother Lillian Dunbar and presidential namesake James Earl Carter.
1x12 - Uncle Sam, Jr (I)
July 19, 1977
Candy discusses gynacology and the need for female gynacologists. Bart plays the guitar while Happy and Vernon accompany him.
1x13 - Tony Rolletti and Susan Cloud
July 20, 1977
1x14 - Breeding Athletes
July 21, 1977
Barth challenges Jimmy Carter to come on the show and compete with him to prove just who is a star. Lou Moffet offers tips on home music ripoffs and the presents the American Guitar Studios home study course offered by Gimblco Enterprises. Happy & band member Tommy Maranucci sit and chat.
1x15 - Animal Sexuality
July 22, 1977
Professional football consultant Emanual Kasinski on the breeding of large men.
1x16 - Garth Gimble Memorial Tennis Classic
July 25, 1977
This episode is tentatively scheduled for air on TV LAND July 20th at midnight. Original production number: 127 Barth promotes the planned Garth Gimbel Memorial Tennis Classic. W.D. ""Bud"" Prize (Kenneth Mars) returns, and bows to public demands that he reveal the secret of his chinadonture treatment. In a rebuttal to Dr. Van Moot (aka Dr. Osgood), Phil Maltby (Morgan Upton) of Phil's Fashion Funwear and Medical Research Lab explains that leisure suits, far from causing cancer, actually can help cure disease. ""Bud"" Prize is so stimulated by this revelation that he falls asleep.
1x17 - Dating Service for Dogs
July 26, 1977
Connie Bushman talks about her dating service for dogs. Radio personality Terry Guy plugs his disc jockey correspondence course.
1x18 - Lou Moffatt on Land Deals
July 27, 1977
Lou Moffatt on land deals; Bassist Eddie Thomerson. Sylvia Miller also appears and discusses how a martian violated her with a beam of blue light.
1x19 - Uncle Sam Jr. II
July 28, 1977
Vernon Taylor, better known as Uncle Sam, Jr. is back and as passionate as ever.
1x20 - Comedy Sales Techniques
July 29, 1977
Insurance salesman Elliott J. Tubbs demonstrates his comedy sales techniques. Happy Kyne on shut-ins.
1x21 - Tom Waits
August 1, 1977
Tom Waits. ""Bud"" Prize on using CB radio to bring in tourists.
1x22 - Dumbness measuring machine
August 2, 1977
A dumbness measuring machine is demonstrated. Actually, more like a dumbness alarm. Say a dumb thing, and the alarm goes off. Like every time that Jerry opens his mouth.
1x23 - no info
August 3, 1977
Happy Kyne shares the latest gizmo developed by the Olfactory Center of Toledo; the nose aid.
1x24 - Singers and salesmen
August 4, 1977
Mario Dorsett on his success as a singer; Tony Rolletti; Mrs. Walter Donker, whose husband sells cars.
1x25 - Criminal Justice
August 5, 1977
Gilbert Ulysses Nelson discusses the treatment of criminals.
1x26 - Still a Dream
August 8, 1977
Local opera singer Donny Lee Savage; Dr. Hugh Slocum on his latest scientific discovery; Amateur photographer Marianne Cox.
1x27 - Fernwood Blood Drive
August 9, 1977
Singing duo Doug and Diana Mitchell; Fernwood blood drive chairman Larry Guy.
1x28 - Ratings Week
August 10, 1977
Singer Laurie Gallagher performs, accompanied by her mother on drums. Also: Bud Prize and Sylvia Miller.
1x29 - Barbershop Trio
August 11, 1977
Doctor Alexander Beach discusses his findings on marijuana. How the Humdinger Barbershop Quartet became a trio.
1x30 - Two Ladies Against Pornography
August 12, 1977
Nettie and Barbara Forman on the elderly.
1x31 - Church of the Devine Lemonade
August 15, 1977
The founder of the Church of the Devine Lemonade, Billy Jenkins. George and Sally Krepps discuss the La Fromage method of childbirth.
1x32 - Roger Bellman
August 16, 1977
Marin Worth reads one of his poems. Also: Susan Cloud and chauffeur Earl Simmons.
1x33 - The Fitness Twins
August 17, 1977
Fernwood mayor Merle Jeeter honors champion Girl scout cookie seller Wendy Price. Also: contortionist Mike Timmins and Mary Lou Bridgewater.
1x34 - You Are You
August 18, 1977
Alberta Cornwall on how colored clothing affects moods; poet Vernon Taylor.
1x35 - The Barber
August 19, 1977
Hair stylist Sal Magglione and Presidential namesake James Earl Carter.
1x36 - X-Rated Shopping Mall
August 22, 1977
Sportscaster Jane Tiffany and W. D. ""Bud"" Prize.
1x37 - Tony Rolletti's autobiography
August 23, 1977
Tony Rolletti plugs his autobiography. The Mirth-Makers perform ""Rock Around the Clock"".
1x38 - Getting the most from your warranty
August 24, 1977
Virgil Simms tells how to get the most out of your new-car waranty. Basically, you make sure that it goes into the shop just before that waranty expires.
1x39 - Nudists
August 25, 1977
Linda Barry, owner of the Fernwood Nudist Colony. Toy maker George Ellsworth.
1x40 - Wrestling
August 26, 1977
Jane Tiffany; Sylvia Miller; Wrestler Rock Mondo and his assisstant.
1x41 - Tony and Chance Rolletti
August 27, 1977
1x42 - Solving Water Shortages
August 28, 1977
Representative Chambers on solving water shortages with icebergs. Lucy and Ed Campbell show how they display affection.
1x43 - Sex Therapy
August 29, 1977
Vern Taylor; Sex therapy clinic founder Matthew Johnson; Happy sings about tooth decay.
1x44 - Real Estate Tips
August 30, 1977
Comic Buddy Brown; Author Dottie Ann Lee; Eddie Thomerson's real estate tips.
1x45 - Skateboard Angel
September 2, 1977
Larry Guy takes questions from the audience; The Mirth-Makers play ""Skateboard Angel"".
1x46 - Mobile Home Daredevil
September 5, 1977
Las Vegas entertainer Debbie Dunbar; Mobile home daredevil Virgil Simms.
1x47 - Rev. Chung Hee
September 6, 1977
1x48 - Pot Sniffing
September 7, 1977
Impressionist Reggie Morrison; Principal Marshall Petty; Susan Cloud.
1x49 - Pet Mating Service
September 8, 1977
Connie Bushman on her computer pet mating service; Sherry McCormick performs "" I Like Dreamin'""; The Birchfield, Ohio mayor tells how he spent 90 days in jail.
1x50 - Harrison Edwards' Moon
September 9, 1977
Historian Harrison Edwards. Also: Tony Rolletti and Jane Tiffany.
1x51 - Behind Hollywood
September 12, 1977
Author Duane Goff plugs his book, ""Behind Hollywood"". The Mirth-makers perform ""Fifteen and Free"".
1x52 - Etiquette Guidelines
September 13, 1977
Barth starts the show with a slide show of his travels around Hollywood. Guests for this episode are etiquette authority Meg Endicott and her new book, Etiquette Guidelines for the Future and U.S. Defense Department representative, Col. Morris Chandler, announcing the newly formed War Deprogramming Center, a facility that helps war veterans ease back into the civilian life by first returning them to the war.
1x53 - Aunt Edity
September 14, 1977
The show starts off on a somber note when Barth announces that the recently hired sportscaster, Jane Tiffany, was injured and is now in a coma, her prognosis uncertain. They proceed to hold an impromptu tribute to her which was quickly thrown together without hardly any thought or preparation and it shows. The first guest claimed to be Barth's Aunt Edith but is in fact Barth's former "patron" from Miami. This much older woman has tracked him down for the promised "services to be rendered" once she "put mirrors on every ceiling." The next guest claimed to be an accomplished dancer who defected from the Soviet Union but it becomes obvious that Serge Nabokov was kicked out because, as his mother put it, "you stink.
1x54 - no info
September 15, 1977
Barth says a prayer on the show before introducing former daredevil now auto mechanics instructor Virgil Simms. He talks about being an auto-mechanics instructor at the Fernwood Community College. Also appearing is Elliot J Tubbs, the newly appointed National Liquor Lobby representative furthering the alcohol industry's cause. Barth ends the show with a song about truckers and fruit.
1x55 - no info
September 16, 1977
The show begins with Barth and Jerry reacting to some comments made by Tom Snyder. With the band's strike over, things return to normal. Tonight's guests include Edward Bailey, a hamburger bun juggler from the Bun-N-Run, Dr. Harlen Washburn, who describes his vision of integrated education and returning guest Baby Irene performing Animal Crackers.
1x56 - Theological Correspondence Course
September 19, 1977
Father George Reese plugs his theological correspondence course, and accordianist Frankie ""Kid"" Carbone.
1x57 - Singles Mingles Club
September 20, 1977
1x58 - Lattimore Diet Program
September 21, 1977
Six-year-old trombonist Kevin McCormick. Mrs. Lillian Lattimore describes her diet program.
1x59 - Battery Powered Car
September 22, 1977
Virgil Simms introduces his battery powered car. Emanual Kasinski on Gay Liberation.
1x60 - Harry Shearer
September 23, 1977
Harry Shearer discusses his work in TV news.
1x61 - Amusement and Healing Parks
September 26, 1977
Bob and Joanne Herlick recite Shakespeare. Nelson Phipps of the Amusement and Healing Parks.
1x62 - Indian Princess
September 27, 1977
On the show tonight: Indian princess Shosen Rising Star and psychologist Stanley Turnbull.
1x63 - Fan Club President
September 28, 1977
Barth Gimble fan club president Mercedes Blyweiss presents an award to Barth.
1x64 - The Ransom
September 29, 1977
Happy Kyne talks about where songwriters get their inspiration. Happy and the Mirth-Makers sing ""Ice Cream Baby"". Barth interviews three heavily-disguised criminals. Barth explains to Jerry how cartoons work. Bud Prize talks about the ransom note. Somebody has his chow-chow! Barth gets a singing telegram -- actually a summons from Miami.
1x65 - Save "Fernwood 2Night" Telethon
September 30, 1977
Barth and Jerry stage a telethon to save the show. Final episode of the series. Continues the next summer as ""America 2Night"".