7x44 - Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp

November 12, 1999

Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.

7x45 - Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell

November 15, 1999

Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.

7x46 - Will Smith, Creed

November 16, 1999

Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of ""Gazebo Weekly.""

7x47 - Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth

November 17, 1999

During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.

7x48 - Evander Holyfield, Ted Danson, Counting Crows

November 18, 1999

Ted Danson plugs ""Becker,"" while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.

7x49 - Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt

November 19, 1999

Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.

7x50 - Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett

November 22, 1999

Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""

7x51 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church

November 23, 1999

Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.

7x52 - Julianna Margulies, Eric Ripert, Third Eye Blind

November 24, 1999

""Biff Henderson's America"" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.

7x53 - George Carlin, Jewel

November 25, 1999

Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.

7x54 - Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin

November 26, 1999

A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.

7x55 - Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige

November 29, 1999

During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.

7x56 - Jenny McCarthy, Martha Stewart, Foo Fighters

November 30, 1999

Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own ""E! True Hollywood Story""; Jenny McCarthy plugs ""Scream 3.""

7x57 - Tim Robbins, Laetitia Casta, B.B. King & Dr. John

December 1, 1999

Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives another gazebo from Dave; Tim Robbins gets clobbered playing ice hockey.

7x58 - Patrick Stewart, Al Franken, Bob Marley

December 2, 1999

For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play ""Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap.""

7x59 - Geena Davis, Bill Murray, Fiona Apple

December 3, 1999

7x60 - Courtney Love, Tori Murden, R.E.M.

December 13, 1999

7x61 - Gwyneth Paltrow, Blondie

December 14, 1999

7x62 - Danny DeVito, Harry Smith

December 15, 1999

Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.

7x63 - Jim Carrey, Alanis Morrisette

December 16, 1999

7x64 - Joe Breen, Jude Law

December 17, 1999

7x65 - Tom Brokaw, Alex Kingston, Run DMC

December 20, 1999

7x66 - Emily Watson, LL Cool J

December 21, 1999

7x67 - Marv Albert, Heather Matarazzo, Bruce Henderson

December 22, 1999

7x68 - Hallie Eisenberg, Jon Witherspoon, Darlene Love

December 23, 1999

7x69 - Matt Damon, Q-Tip

December 27, 1999

Feeling a little warm, Dave takes off his coat and does most of the show in just his shirt and tie; in ""Who Asked For It?"" Patrick Stewart and the Taco Bell chihuahua star in ""A Christmas Carol;"" Biff performs a holiday-themed duet with a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion.

7x70 - Isabella Rossellini, Bev Tanner

December 28, 1999

7x71 - Jay Thomas, Nick Nordberg

December 29, 1999

7x72 - Dick Clark, Ralph Charles

December 30, 1999

7x73 - Stupid Human Tricks, Kevin James, Brooklyn Philharmonic

December 31, 1999

7x74 - Jeff Daniels, Jake Johannsen

January 3, 2000

7x75 - Lauren Bacall, Kurt Warner

January 4, 2000

7x76 - Bill Pullman, Dan Naturman

January 5, 2000

7x77 - George Stephanopoulos, Sue Murphy

January 6, 2000

7x78 - Edie Falco, Ray Lucas, Andy Kindler

January 7, 2000

7x79 - Kate Winslet, Ice Cube

January 10, 2000

7x80 - Woody Harrelson, Shawn Presser, Filter

January 11, 2000

7x81 - Hillary Clinton, Art Donovan

January 12, 2000

7x82 - Tom Arnold, Art Donovan, Lynryd Skynryd

January 13, 2000

Dave thanks Rob Burnett for landing Hillary Clinton on the show; Art Donovan plays ping pong with the disgusting Turkish guy; Lynyrd Skynard performs ""Sweet Home Alabama.""

7x83 - Regis Philbin, Mark Borchardt

January 14, 2000

Regis comes out for his interview with the disgusting Turkish guy, and later Dave tells him he's scheduled for an angiogram tomorrow morning.

7x84 - Charles Grodin, Julia Roberts, Regis Philbin

February 7, 2000

It's the debut of Late Show Backstage, a clip show hosted tonight by Charles Grodin while Dave recovers from his quintuple-bypass surgery three weeks before. Amongst the highlights: Charles chats with Julia Roberts, Dave's interview with J.Ro from May 17, 1999, a Top Ten list from John Malkovich (see Show #1307), and to cap the night, Charles and surprise guest Regis Philbin.

7x85 - Regis Philbin, Jerry Seinfeld, Danny DeVito

February 8, 2000

""Backstage,"" Day 2: Regis is now sitting in a whole new ""hot seat"" as the clip show's second host in as many nights. Tonight, he chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who introduces footage of Dave doing the Top Ten without pants, and Danny DeVito, who for one reason or another shows a clip from Taxi.

7x86 - Paul Schaffer, Bruce Willis, Martin Short

February 9, 2000

Backstage #3: Paul appears on the Late Show for the first time since Dave's surgery, sitting on a movie set with Bruce Willis and his old friend Martin Short. Amongst tonight's clips: Bruce doing various stunts; Casey Kasem presents the Top Ten (see Show #0005); Dave makes crank phone calls (also Show #0005); Martin Short sings a selection from the musical Little Me.

7x87 - Regis Philbin, Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker

February 10, 2000

Backstage, Day 4: Regis hosts again, chatting with Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker, and ""the great"" Pat Farmer. Amongst the clips: Bill goes to the balcony via a ladder; a Top Ten featuring Barry White; Dave and Sarah mingle with Kid Scientists.

7x88 - Paul Schaffer, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal

February 11, 2000

Backstage, Day 5: Paul hosts again, this time with Dave's buddies Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Amongst the clips: Steve mans a projector to show a clip from his latest movie (see Show #0499); the Top Ten list from the fifth anniversary special, with Jerry Seinfeld escorting Dave's mom onstage; Dave hangs out with Olympic judges (see Show #0963). At the end of the show, Paul and Billy goof around behind the scenes at The Price Is Right.

7x89 - Paul Schaffer, Drew Barrymore, Ray Romano

February 14, 2000

Backstage, Day 6: In the cold opening, Paul tries to hit on Drew Barrymore. Amongst the clips: Drew flashing Dave on his 48th birthday; Drew and Dave getting married one month after said clip; ten beautiful women present the Top Ten (see Show #0543); Ray Romano singing ""Silent Night"" as his kids beat each other up.

7x90 - David Brenner, Kathie Lee Gifford, Alec Baldwin

February 15, 2000

Backstage, Day 7: Comedian David Brenner interrogates Kathie Lee Gifford and Alec Baldwin. Tonight's clips: Dave hijacks the Butterball turkey hotline (see Show #1345); a Top Ten remote from Bill DeLace; Alec shares child-rearing tips with Dave.

7x91 - Tom Snyder, Norm MacDonald, Don Rickles

February 16, 2000

Backstage, Day 8: Former ""Tomorrow"" and ""Late Late Show"" host Tom Snyder trades a bon mot or two with Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles. Tonight's clips: Norm vents after being demoted on SNL (see Show #0936); a Top Ten from Demi Moore; Don tells Dave how he met Frank Sinatra.

7x92 - Tom Snyder, Mike Myers, Roseanne, Bonnie Hunt

February 17, 2000

Backstage, Day 9: Tom Snyder's still here, and this time he hosts Mike Myers, Roseanne Barr, and Bonnie Hunt. Tonight's clips: Dave shows film footage of Mike as a Canadian Cub Scout; Mike wishes his mom a happy birthday (see Show #0960); a Top Ten from James Earl Jones; Roseanne talks basketball.

7x93 - Tom Arnold, Robin Williams, Jack Hannah

February 18, 2000

""Backstage,"" Day 10: After chatting with Robin Williams, Tom Arnold openly comments that he's disappointed that Jack Hanna didn't bring any animals to the set. Tonight's clips: Robin storms out of the backdrop (see Show #0001); Dave meets Frisco hippie Manny Papp (see Show #0589); Dave makes baby talk with a monkey.

7x95 - Bill Cosby, Heidi Klum, Vince Carter, Dr. Paula Mahone, Dane Cook

February 22, 2000

Bill Cosby opens up a box of basketball cards with Vince Carter.

7x96 - Julia Roberts, Israel Perlman

February 23, 2000

In his first post-surgery rant, Dave hollers about having to be driven to work for a while, and then really fumes about having to drink decaffeinated coffee; during a segment called ""How The Media Covered Dave's Surgery,"" Dave shows a (bogus) supermarket tabloid stating that he had actually given birth to quintuplets.

7x97 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Tom Arnold, Joy Behar, Linda Edar

February 24, 2000

Kathie Lee Gifford becomes the latest guest host to alternate with Dave while he continues to recuperate from heart surgery. Tonight, she gets heckled by an audience member who notices that she's not wearing a bra, to which she snaps back, ""Go wear a jock strap!""

7x98 - John Goodman, Norm MacDonald

February 25, 2000

Mailbag: George Clarke addresses the comments made about his weight problem, and Dave flashes back to when he woke up from surgery resembling Don King. Also, Hank Hill (of ""King of the Hill"") wishes Dave to get well.

7x99 - Drew Carey, Dolly Parton

February 28, 2000

""Biff Henderson's America"" wrecks havoc in Badger, Minnesota, while Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs from his new album.

7x100 - David Brenner, Carson Daley, Aida Turturro, Gary Gulman, Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals

February 29, 2000

David Brenner fills in for Dave and does about ten minutes of stand-up. Later, he chats with Aida Turturro of The Sopranos.

7x101 - Kid Turkey Callers, Candice Bergan, Fiona Apple, George W. Bush

March 1, 2000

Dave continues to rant about decaffeinated coffee; George W. Bush is interrogated live via satellite; Fiona Apple performs ""On The Bound.""

7x102 - Nathan Lane, Mel Brooks, Mario Cantone, Kristin Chenoweth

March 2, 2000

Nathan Lane is the latest fill-in host, and he introduces a short film about the many perks of taking over for Dave. Later, he sings a song from the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown with Kristin Chenoweth.

7x103 - Anjelica Huston, Jayson Williams, Steely Dan

March 3, 2000

Steely Dan promotes its first album in two decades, ""Two Against Nature.""

7x104 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Eddie Izzard

March 6, 2000

Paul is wearing a white tailored suit tonight, prompting Dave to point out that the bandleader is the musical director of the upcoming Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. Also, Sandra and Nadine help Dave celebrate eighteen years in late night, even though the anniversary was over a month ago.

7x105 - Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk & David Cross, Zack Galifanakis, Old '97s

March 7, 2000

Janeane Garofalo becomes the latest guest host; ""slide whistle legend"" Bazeel sits in; Janeane does tonight's interviews sitting in a school desk placed in front of Dave's desk; Bob Odenkirk and David Cross make funny noises; Bazeel and the band performs ""Wipe Out.""

7x106 - Tim Robbins, Melissa Etheridge

March 8, 2000

During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria fills in for Rob, who's too busy working on the NBC pilot Ed; Biff presents the winning contestant of tonight's ""Beat the Clock"" with the home version of the game (a checkerboard); ""Phil Carmichael"" of CBS Promotions (Bill DeLace) does a presentation on ratings stunts.

7x107 - Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Cindy Margolis, Al Frankin, Rocco DiSpirito

March 9, 2000

Guest host Dana Carvey chats with former ""SNL"" cronies Jon Lovitz and Al Franken.

7x108 - Tom Brokaw, Catherine Keener, Bonnie Raitt

March 10, 2000

7x109 - Gabriel Byrne, Martha Stewart, Moby

March 20, 2000

In a remarkably lengthy edition of ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave decides not to perform a piece comparing Bush and Gore, and then rants about his cable service. Afterwards, he admits that this is his last night in television, so he introduces his family, then claims he's moving to St. Louis to work for Ralston Purina. Also, while cooking with Martha Stewart, Dave attempts to juggle eggs.

7x110 - Matthew Broderick, Patti Smith

March 21, 2000

Biff devours the first robin of spring; the disgusting Turkish guy disappears; Pat and Kenny toss Matthew Broderick's birthday cake off the roof.

7x111 - Barbara Walters, Linda Cardellini, Kimmie Rhodes

March 22, 2000

Out on 53rd Street, Biff has a hand counter to help with the ongoing US Census; Dave shows a clip of Barbara Walters making a weird facial reaction during her latest Oscar special; the Gore-Bush bit from two nights ago is finally performed in its entirety; Biff counts a total of 1,482 people in the United States.

7x112 - Rosie Perez, Robert Klein

March 27, 2000

Rob Burnett returns to his desk on the corner of the stage; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave comments on CBS' new slogan (""The address… is CBS"") and cracks wise on Gene Keady's hair; during the Top Ten, Dave makes a rare bald joke aimed at Paul.

7x113 - Minnie Driver, Trisha Yearwood

March 28, 2000

Cold opening: Dr. Henry Kissinger announces that he's Dave's latest guest host, only to learn rather abruptly that Dave isn't sick anymore. Also, Dave has Rupert make a Hello Deli's latest menu addition, the kosher-friendly ""Paul Shaffer Sandwich,"" and a few minutes later Rupert delivers it to its namesake.

7x114 - Kid Scientists, Jimmy Smits, Bruce Cockburn

March 29, 2000

Paul is introduced as Gaston Mazacani; Rob tells a funny story about an incident he had with a cab driver; during a segment called ""What I like about Spring,"" Alan unwittingly admits that he's on the down low.

7x115 - John Cusack, Paul Fiora, Eddie Brill

March 30, 2000

Dave demonstrates the ""magic"" of decaffeinated coffee by mixing food coloring in water.

7x116 - David Arquette, Al Green

March 31, 2000

During Campaign 2000, nobody can muster up any interesting topics, so Dave discusses Daylight Savings Time. Later, Dave brings up the recently-announced discovery that most gay men have unusual finger length, so Dave, Paul and Biff (in a dress) check their hands.

7x117 - Brooke Shields, Oliver Platt, Joni Mitchell

April 3, 2000

Campaign 2000: Dave finds a tick on his suit, panics, calls Dr. Lou Aronne, then shows three ticks close-up using a special camera.

7x118 - David Duchovny, Joe Pistone, Lou Reed

April 4, 2000

Dave announces that the show is adopting (and thus protecting) Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez; Rupert makes a Biff Henderson sandwich for Paul, but not for Biff; Dave mentions that he received a phone call from Johnny Carson shortly after his shout-out last week.

7x119 - Bonnie Hunt, Shelby Lynne

April 5, 2000

7x120 - Samuel L. Jackson, Jack Hannah

April 6, 2000

7x121 - Jon Stewart, Faith Hill

April 7, 2000

Actor Stephen Tobolowsky sits in; during Mailbag, we learn that Tony is Fidel Castro's estranged son; Jon Stewart tries to give Dave a human heart, and after Dave declines, Jon walks offstage and puts it back in a very annoyed Tony Randall.

7x122 - Bill Cosby, Sarah Vowell

April 10, 2000

7x123 - Jenna Elfman, Jeff Altman, Children of Uganda

April 11, 2000

Dave shows a clip of the recent live television remake of Fail Safe to demonstrate how lax CBS is at preventing profanities from being heard on-air. Also, Jenna Elfman promotes Keeping the Faith.

7x124 - Paul Newman, Pearl Jam

April 12, 2000

Dave announces he's 41 today because he's not counting his 12 years at NBC; during a segment called ""Job Hunting Tips,"" a barbershop quartet sings intern Bob Dickerson's resume; Richard Simmons calls up Daddy to wish him a happy birthday, and Dave promptly hangs up on him.

7x125 - Matthew McConaughey, Kelly Monteith, Willie Nelson

April 13, 2000

Campaign 2000: Dave honors a bald audience member. Later, Biff hands out Broadway tickets to two couples in the audience.

7x126 - Ben Stiller, Brian Regan

April 14, 2000

Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones sits in; with nothing to discuss, ""Campaign 2000"" lasts exactly six seconds; during Mailbag, Dave and Paul star in the new crime drama ""Good Cop, Good Cop.""

7x127 - Jeff Foxworthy, Vertical Horizon

April 24, 2000

Paul says his 86-year-old father, Bernard Shaffer, had a quintuple bypass yesterday and later Bruce Kapler admits that his dad had a mere double bypass a year ago. Also, Dave stops the show to read the latest issue of Oprah's magazine.

7x128 - Kristin Johnson, Live

April 25, 2000

After discussing Oprah's magazine on and off for the last few weeks, Dave announces that the first issue of ""D,"" the Dave magazine, has finally been rolled out. Also, Alan interrupts ""Campaign 2000"" to announce he's been reunited with his fat German son.

7x129 - Dennis Quaid, Nicole Sullivan, Smashing Pumpkins

April 26, 2000

The INS captures and seizes Tony (twice); Purdue University basketball coach Gene Keady presents the Top Ten; The Smashing Pumpkins perform ""Blue Skies Bring Tears.""

7x130 - Salma Hayek, Ray Romano

April 27, 2000

The INS harasses Tony again; Rob Burnett appears live via satellite from LA for ""Campaign 2000""; Alan and his fat, gender-confused German son celebrate Take Your Daughters to Work Day.

7x131 - Natalie Portman, Lennox Lewis

April 28, 2000

During Mailbag, Alan admits to doing the deed with Janet Reno; production assistant Jeremy Weiner is subjected to Paul's favorite game, ""Staffer/Not a Staffer""; David Wells and Bernie Williams present the Top Ten.

7x132 - David Spade, Marion Jones

May 1, 2000

Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell sit in; Dave announces the blood test following last week's tick incident came out negative; in homage to a trend that sweeping various TV shows nowadays, ""Campaign 2000"" is shown in letterbox; independent film maker Mark Borchardt presents his interview with former Presidential candidate Gary Bauer.

7x133 - Kim Basinger, Oasis

May 2, 2000

Live via satellite, we go to Preston Luggage in Dallas for another lengthy chat with Al Cordova and his assistant Kathy. Also, during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope introduces Rob Burnett, who walks onstage to a standing ovation.

7x134 - Dana Carvey, Alison Krauss & Union Station

May 3, 2000

Dave honors ""Great Bald Men throughout History"" (him, Paul, and Dwight D. Eisenhower), while we watch the latest round of ""Biff Henderson's Fun with a Stopwatch.""

7x135 - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mitch Hedberg

May 4, 2000

Julia Louis-Dreyfus sings a song from West Side Story, and Jerry Seinfeld shows up to ""sing"" with her. Also, Dave shows footage of a woman dropping a bowling ball on her husband's noggin.

7x136 - Stupid Human Tricks, Joaquin Phoenix, Mighty Mighty Bosstones

May 5, 2000

Dave announces he was pulled over for speeding again, then kisses up to the New York State police; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave sings the praises of Tivo; ten jockeys present the Top Ten.

7x137 - Betty White, Hanson

May 8, 2000

Apparently, Michelle O'Calaghan had another baby over the weekend; Dave says he's been called to jury duty, prompting a brief state of panic; during another ""What's New"" segment, Pat and Kenny attempt to recite Shakespeare; a morbidly obese man is introduced as the winning jockey of last weekend's Kentucky Derby.

7x138 - John Travolta, Cast of Kiss me Kate

May 9, 2000

Dave continues to comment on the jury duty situation; the outside cam heads for Joe G's to play ""Would You Like To Win a Phony Check for 350 Million Dollars?""; after three years of struggling, Rob Burnett finally shows footage of his daughters not being afraid of the Easter Bunny.

7x139 - Kelsey Grammer, Caroline Rhea

May 10, 2000

Dave shows a CNN clip and a newspaper article pertaining to the jury duty controversy; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Paul admits he had a nightmare involving Maria Pope; Caroline Rhea discusses relationships.

7x140 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Debra Messing

May 11, 2000

Kathie Lee Gifford discusses her pending departure from her talk show, then ""sings"" ""Love Never Fails.""

7x141 - Richard Simmons, Sarah Vowell

May 12, 2000

Rob and Dave go over the ground rules for Richard Simmons' latest visit tonight, including permission to use a fire extinguisher on Richard if needed; during Mailbag, Dave becomes pen-pals with viewer Tyler Gatlin; ten celebrity moms (including Gerard and Dorothy) present the Top Ten, though it wouldn't become a yearly tradition until 2002.

7x142 - Gillian Anderson, Foo Fighters

May 15, 2000

Peter Frampton fills in for Felicia Collins, who had a gig; Paul mentions that Anton is getting married over this coming weekend; Rob announces that Ed has officially been picked up for NBC's fall schedule.

7x143 - David Hyde Pierce, Phish

May 16, 2000

Dave mangles the song ""Memory,"" while Rupert and Tony Randall are invited to ""Campaign 2000"" but have absolutely nothing worth saying.

7x144 - Hugh Grant, Carly Simon

May 17, 2000

Campaign 2000: Dave mentions the final episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, which proceeds into another one of Alan's crying jags.