5x2 - Best Seller

January 10, 2003

Alan tries to find out why a best-selling author turned down his job offer.

5x3 - Acquisitions

January 17, 2003

Alan becomes obsessed with starting a new digital specialty channel. When it becomes clear it will be too expensive to do so he buys one by assuming its massive debtload. The gang discovers the channel litterally has zero viewers, and only shows one movie, over and over again, but are overjoyed to learn how they will be able to make a fortune off of it, not to mention the cool jackets.

5x4 - People of the Fish

January 24, 2003

Deon returns from LA to work on a new mini series based on a famous book. She decides she loves Canada so much that she wants to move here. Richard and Veronica are so annoyed by her that they decide to expose her to the dark side of Canada. Richard enters late to a meeting saying the government seized his car for not paying the mandatory 87% income tax, and Veronica enters looking very distressed after spending the whole night in a hospital for a papercut. Meanwhile Alan has declared war on ""Canada Reads"" a pro literacy campaign.

5x5 - Babes with Blades

January 31, 2003

Alan is intent on cashing in on the success of ""Men With Brooms"" by creating a story about a womens hockey team that Richard names ""Babes With Blades"". Veronica is put in charge of the project, but Alan doesn't like it, so the men take it over. They ruin in of course.

5x6 - The Skateboard Show

February 7, 2003

5x7 - Beaver Creek Valentine

February 14, 2003

Beaver Creek's new Christmas episode is re-scheduled to February forcing a quick re-write by Richard & Veronica to make it about Valentines Day they do so by ""find & replacing"" Christmas with Valentines to avoid any actual work. When Network Brian finds out he storms in on Alan and demands they change the script again. Meanwhile on set, an aging star is trying to get jiggy with Blind Jimmy and Victor. When Network Brian interupts her attempts to seduce Blind Jimmy, the pair begin making out. Richard interrupts them and after they leave he drops a ciggerette into the hay and burns down the barn. Beaver Creek's Valentines day episode now has a climactic finish with the burning of a barn, and Network Brian is silenced when Richard tells him the fire department thought the fire was caused by two kids fooling around.

5x8 - Office Flu

February 21, 2003

Pyramid is nominated for a prestious Swedish award, the fianl application is due at the end of the day, and Richard is in charge of faxing in the application. Alan is feeling under the weather, so he decides to shred old scripts, and eventually a phone book. Veronica trys to convince him to take a sick day, but he refuses. All of the office eventually contracts Alan's flu, except for Richard, who is finishing the application. He leaves it in ALan's office while Alan is napping on the couch. When he wakes up, Alan feeds it through the paper shreder, thinking that it was left there for him to shred. Richard starts again on the application, only to find that the computer network is down. He calls in the ""computer guy"", who does very little to repair the computer system, and very much to pitch his idea for a ""computer guy"" television series. Richard completes the application by hand. The next day, Alan complains about his shotty work, and runs off to have a meeting with the computer guy ab

5x9 - Alan's New Studio

February 28, 2003

Richard supervises an interior designer who is redecorating the Pyramid offices; Victor has his eye on a new studio he wants Pyramid to buy.

5x10 - Victor's Dating Show

March 7, 2003

Victor runs into a number of problems while producing a dating show for Pyramid, including a difficult show runner.

5x11 - Bio-Pic

March 14, 2003

Alan pressures Victor into ensuring a Pyramid staffer gets a coveted Leaf of Fame award when Victor is chosen to sit on the awards committee.

5x12 - Dock Cops

March 21, 2003

Alan decides to stop making episodes of Dock Cops, one of Pyramid's most popular shows. The gang eventually persuade him to change his mind, but he wants to make dramamtic ""improvements"", that include introducing a female cop to the show. The star of the show eventually quits, and his character is killed off. The show's style is changed, and another female character is introduced. The script is softened (a lost kitten instead of a murdered prostitute as an episode's main story) and the show is cancelled.

5x13 - Beaver Creek Jumps the Shark

May 30, 2003

Beaver Creek reaches a point in its run whereas it can only go downhill from there. Victor, Richard and Veronica remember the point in time that their lives ""Jumped the Shark"".

5x14 - Richard's Brother

May 30, 2003

Victor hires Richard's brother (Scott Thompson) to host Pyramid's new kids' show to help boost ratings, much to Richard's chagrin.

5x15 - Requiem for Beaver Creek

June 6, 2003

The Network decides its time to cancel Beaver Creek. Alan flips out and orders Veronica to organize a rally of disgruntled Beaver Creek fans, of whom there are less than ten. He also has Richard lock up all of the principal actors in lame Pyramid projects so that they can't go elsewhere to other shows. In the end Richard and Network Brian agree that although its time for Beaver Creek the show to end... its time for Beaver Creek the two hour TV movie to begin.

5x16 - Producer's Cut

June 13, 2003

Alan discovers a show called Producer's Cut, a Canadian program that lampoons the television production business, and Alan feels its based on him. He decides to fire Wanda and has her planted at the production company that is producing the new show. Jonathan Summers, the shows producer asks Alan to appear on the show, and continues to insist the show is not about him. Unfortunately Alan's newly acquired improv skills make him look like such an ass that the shows producer begins making fun of him after all. Meanwhile, with Victor being the only person Alan trusts, he places him as the office receptionist. As well, Veronica renegotiates all the executive salaries. Victor and Richard become obsessed over who makes the most money.

5x17 - The Last Show

June 20, 2003

Alan secretely sells the company to a dairy farmer. After promising nothing will change Veronica and Richard are offered severance packages to quit, Alan is fired, and Victor is made CEO of Pyramid. Wanda is the only person who will still take Alan's phone calls. Veronica and Richard have a child and make millions off of a terrible show. After Victor takes early retirement Wanda is made CEO of Pyramid.