Petticoat Junction - Season 5 - You Know I Can't Hear You When the Thunder is Clapping

5x1 - Is This My Daughter?

September 9, 1967

Betty Jo has been traveling through Europe for the past three months. Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo believe that the trip probably has changed her. Kate doesn't think Betty Jo will be any different. But Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo are right. Accompanying Betty Jo from New York City are three handsome jet-setters. They are all stuck up and pretentious, just like Betty Jo is now. Peter, Brad and Ronnie make their way to Hooterville and the Shady Rest to see first hand Betty Jo's rural life. Betty Jo is initially ashamed of her background as she tries to put on airs for her three friends. But, Betty Jo learns who her real friends and loved ones are, and who she really is. Note: The first season without Smiley Burnette.

5x2 - It's Not Easy to Be a Mother

September 16, 1967

Betty Jo thinks she's at that point in her life where she needs to learn how to cook in order to get a husband. Kate agrees and offers to teach Betty Jo. But Betty Jo is on her own when Kate sees one of Billie Jo's costumes for her nightclub act. Kate wants to go with Billie Jo to see what this act is all about. At the club, Kate can't help but be the typical stage mother. But Kate may have a bigger problem when she telephones home to see how things are going. Sam answers and tells her not to worry since "there's nothing you can do about it now". Sam is referring to the fact that Steve became sick after eating Betty Jo's cooking. Kate jumps to the wrong conclusion and rushes back home to save Betty Jo from what she considers a big mistake.

5x3 - One Dozen Roses

September 23, 1967

Betty Jo has been receiving a large number of floral bouquets, all signed "From an Admirer". Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo believe that the sender is probably one of the many boys she met on her travels. However, Betty Jo's admirer eventually make himself known and it's Eb. He is neither who Betty Jo expected nor wanted and she has to try to let him down easy. Against Kate's wishes, Bobbie Jo suggests to Betty Jo that she get Steve to act as her boyfriend to scare away Eb. The only problem with that plan is that Steve actually has feelings for Betty Jo. Kate manages to convince Eb that things wouldn't work out with him and Betty Jo. Meanwhile, Uncle Joe is trying to set up a labor saving luggage pulley system between the Shady Rest stop and the hotel's front porch.

5x5 - Pop Goes the Question

October 7, 1967

Uncle Joe tells Kate that he believes that Steve and Betty Jo will get married sooner rather than later. Steve implies to Kate that he does intend to marry Betty Jo. Kate doesn't know what to think as she still sees Betty Jo as her little girl. After a chat with Sam, Kate decides to give Steve her blessing to propose. Steve, who is pretty sure that Betty Jo will say yes, still has a small part of him that is afraid she'll say no. Steve may have to hurry because Uncle Joe learns what's going on and the news could soon be all over the valley. One thing or another keeps preventing Steve from asking the question. But just before the news breaks wide open, Steve asks Betty Jo and she says yes.

5x6 - A Cottage for Two

October 14, 1967

Secluded in the woods, Betty Jo has found what she believes is the perfect house for herself and Steve for after their marriage. All Steve and Kate can see in the building is an old, dilapidated shack, and one that has no bathroom. As difficult as it is, Steve wants to be supportive of Betty Jo's dream. He makes an off the cuff comment about the up side of owning that house. That comment places a strain on Steve and Betty Jo's relationship and upcoming marriage. While Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo support their sister in the matter, Kate tries to talk some sense into Betty Jo. Kate then comes up with a way for Steve to let Betty Jo know how he feels about her.

5x7 - Mind If We Join Your Wedding

October 21, 1967

Floyd is in love. He eventually confides in Kate about it, but doesn't mention who the girl is. Floyd tells Steve that he proposed and the girl accepted. He asks Steve for an unusual and huge favor. Floyd would like to have a double wedding and honeymoon. Uncle Joe, who once took a private investigator's course, believes he can uncover the identity of the mystery girl. But Kate knows a surefire way to find out and that's from Selma, the biggest gossip in town. Selma divulges that she is the mystery girl. When Selma tells Floyd that they will leave Hooterville and he will have to give up the Cannonball, Floyd calls the whole thing off.

5x8 - Meet the In-Laws

October 28, 1967

Steve and Betty Jo's wedding is approaching fast. They are working hard trying to complete the renovations on their cottage by the time of the wedding. They get a letter from Steve's parents, Mr. & Mrs. Donald Elliott, who have decided to stop by Hooterville on their way to a business meeting. Betty Jo is freaked out by the line in the letter: "We just want to meet your Betty Jo, have one of her delicious meals, and see your dream house." Steve stretched the truth about Betty Jo's cooking and the cottage when writing home to his parents. Kate is ordered bed-rest by Doc Stuart for what looks to be a 48-hour cold. Betty Jo is having a terrible time in the kitchen, until Mrs. Elliot helps out. The next day, they go to see the cottage. Sam and some other men from town surprise everyone by having finished the work on the cottage.

5x9 - With This Gown I Thee Wed

November 4, 1967

In this touching episode, Betty Jo finds what she thinks is the perfect wedding dress. Kate was hoping that Betty Jo would wear her old dress. When Kate sees that her daughter has bought a dress she doesn't mention hers. Uncle Joe has also bought a wedding dress. Kate's cousin Mae comes bearing yet another wedding dress for Betty Jo. Neither Uncle Joe or Mae are aware that Betty Jo has bought her own dress. As much as she loves both Uncle Joe and Mae, neither of the dresses they got for her are her style. But she doesn't have the heart to tell them that she has a dress for fear of hurting their feelings. Billie Jo thinks she has the solution to all of Betty Jo's wedding gown problems. It's one that will make Kate very happy.

5x10 - Hawaii Calling

November 11, 1967

Sam receives a cablegram for Kate from Betty Jo and Steve on the cruise ship as they're sailing to Hawaii for their honeymoon. Betty Jo and Steve will be telephoning at 4pm the following day from Hawaii. Kate and the family are excited about the news, with Kate and Sam doing whatever they can to make sure that the telephone call makes it through. As 4pm approaches, Kate, the girls and Uncle Joe are in their Sunday best in Sam's store waiting for the call. Unfortunately there are a few obstacles and the telephone call never comes through. Later that evening Kate calls the couple. Meanwhile, Betty Jo and Steve are getting used to the idea of being married.

5x11 - Kate's Birthday

November 18, 1967

It's Kate's birthday. She is grateful for all the presents and the birthday good wishes, but she is hoping to receive something from Betty Jo and Steve who are still on their honeymoon in Hawaii. But the mail comes and goes with no gift from the honeymooners. Kate starts to believe the two have forgotten her birthday. Meanwhile, Betty Jo and Steve hope to fly home early and in time for Kate's birthday. Sam and Joe decide to go to the Pixley post office to see if anything for Kate is held up there. Because they tamper with the mail there, the two wind up in jail. Betty Jo misplaces Kate's present, and while looking for it, they miss their connecting flight. Thanks to an Air Force buddy, Betty Jo and Steve make it back in time.

5x12 - The Honeymoon is Over

November 25, 1967

Steve and Betty Jo are back from their honeymoon and have settled into their cottage. Betty Jo and Steve are still in a honeymoon state of mind. Betty Jo wants to spend every moment of his free time with him. Billie Jo announces that she got a gig for the Bradley sisters to sing at a show on Saturday night. Betty Jo has to decide what to do, sing at the show or stay at home with Steve. Joe and Sam invite Steve to a boys' night out for Saturday. He really wants to go just to prove that he doesn't need Betty Jo's approval. Betty Jo has a plan that ensures she comes out on top.

5x13 - A Horse On You, Mr. Bedloe

December 2, 1967

Kate receives a surprisingly sweet letter from Homer Bedloe saying he will be coming to the Shady Rest for a few days. Kate is suspicious. Upon his arrival, Bedloe is as sweet as his letter. He tells Kate that the reason for his visit is that a valuable race horse is being transported from Hooterville to Pixley on the Cannonball. He wants to be around to make sure all goes smoothly. Ray Rogers, the race horse owner, tells Kate that the horse is being transported to a county fair. But when Kate sees the broken down nag that they are calling a race horse, Kate knows that Bedloe and Rogers are working together. Kate figures out Bedloes and Rogers' scheme and also figures out a way to foil his plan.

5x14 - Kate's Day in Court

December 9, 1967

Kate received a traffic ticket for jaywalking against a new traffic light in Pixley. She refuses to pay the fine because the traffic light, which is supposed to be operating only peak hours, was in operation during a non-peak time when she crossed against the light. So she decides to take the case to court. Kate finds that most of the people in the valley believe she's in the wrong. Kate goes back to Pixley to try and find anyone who can verify that she was at the traffic light during an off peak time. Uncle Joe calls a surprise witness trying to help Kate, but it doesn't work out the way he hoped. Kate actually comes up with a way to prove her innocence

5x15 - Uncle Joe and the Master Plan

December 16, 1967

Billie Jo and Uncle Joe have just arrived back from Omaha, where Billie Jo had a singing engagement. While there, Uncle Joe applied for the Shady Rest to be listed in the Master Plan hotel directory. Joe believes a guest named Gaylord Martindale s there to make a secret inspection for the directory. As such, Uncle Joe will do anything to please him, which is a tall order as he is perhaps the most demanding guest they have ever had. This service may be at the expense of their only other guest, the very accommodating Mrs. Pruit. In the end, Mrs. Pruit has a surprise for everyone.

5x16 - All That Buzzes Ain't Bees

December 23, 1967

Uncle Joe's latest scheme has him keeping bees, hoping to make a fortune selling honey. Joe borrows from Steve, money that Steve and Betty Jo had set aside as mad money. This leads to problems between Steve and Betty Jo, who made a pact to tell each other everything. Kate helps Steve and Betty Jo weather this minor storm. Uncle Joe discovers that what he thought were bees are actually hornets and they have infested the hotel. While the hotel is being fumigated, everyone stays at Steve and Betty Joe's house. This indirectly solves a problem that the couple were having.

5x17 - All Sales Final

December 30, 1967

Betty Jo is writing checks faster than Steve is putting money into the account. They make a deal: Betty Jo will not spend any more money for a month. What Betty Jo didn't tell Steve is that she has already purchased an extremely long sofa for from Agnew's Furniture Store. The problem is that the sofa doesn't fit in their tiny living room unless a wall gets knocked down, and the sofa was a no return sale. Kate talks profit hungry Mr. Agnew into taking the sofa back for . Steve would like to surprise Betty Jo with a piano and asks her if he could knock down a wall in the house. Thinking there will be room for the sofa, Betty Jo has Kate go and repurchase the sofa. Betty Jo finds out about the piano and once again Kate has to return the sofa for a loss. Steve finds out about the sofa and has Kate buy it again. Steve and Betty Jo decide to keep both items.

5x18 - The Power of the Press

January 6, 1968

Bobbie Jo tells everyone that she and the man of her dreams, Jeff Powers, will be working on a newspaper together. The school professor is allowing students to put out an existing newspaper for a week as an assignment. Bobbie Jo is hoping Kate will ask Sam if she and Jeff can be the editors of the Hooterville World Guardian for the week. Sam is more than willing to hand over the reigns. Jeff has a hard hitting view of newspaper journalism and is not afraid to name names. Bobbie Jo may change her mind about the policy when one of the stories affects Uncle Joe negatively.

5x19 - Steve, the Apple Polisher

January 13, 1968

J.P. Marshall, who recently bought much of the farm land in the valley, has checked into the hotel. Uncle Joe sees an opportunity to secure the crop dusting contract for his fields. Uncle Joe convinces Steve to do whatever Marshall wants to secure the contract. Steve agrees, as he doesn't think there will be any problems. Then he meets Marshall's daughter, Millicent, who has her sights set on Steve. Steve now also has to be nice to Millicent. Betty Jo doesn't like Millicent as the competition and leaves not-so-subtle reminders to Steve that he's married. Steve tells Mr. Marshall that he won't be an apple polisher even if it means losing the contract. Mr. Marshall tells Steve that is exactly the kind of man he wants and gives Steve the contract.

5x20 - The Barber Shop Quartet

January 20, 1968

Uncle Joe's barbershop quartet have entered the Winter Festival competition. One member is singing a bunch of bad notes. They soon realize that the offending member is Joe. Joe decides to step aside if they can find somebody to replace him. They quickly find Grampa Jenson to fill Joe's place. This leads to the end of Joe's friendship with Sam. Selma, the head of the Winter Festival's judging committee, asks Joe to be on the panel of judges. Her request has an ulterior motive as Henrietta has entered the contest. Selma implies that she will give the Carson-Elliott Enterprises her crop dusting business if Joe votes for Henrietta. Something Sam does at the competition repairs his and Joe's friendship

5x21 - Higgins Come Home

January 27, 1968

Everyone at the hotel is worried since Dog has been missing for most of the day. He actually ran off to Betty Jo and Steve's. When Betty Jo brings him back to the hotel, Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo are angry that Betty Jo didn't send him back sooner. Betty Jo doesn't like the notion that Dog doesn't equally belong to her. The sisters' feud doesn't stop Dog from going back to Betty Jo and Steve's. Things escalate when Steve sides with Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo, and Sam sides with Betty Jo. Steve thinks he has the answer when he gets Betty Jo a cute girl dog. But Dog winds up coming over to visit the new dog. The sisters continue feuding and Dog finds a way to get them to stop.

5x22 - Girl of Our Dreams

February 3, 1968

Florabelle Campbell, the valley's beauty while Uncle Joe's was growing up, is coming to stay at the Hotel. News of her visit quickly spreads among her former suitors, including Uncle Joe, Sam and Ralph. They all believe that they can rekindle their romances with Florabelle. When Florabelle arrives, she doesn't remember either Joe or Sam. It takes Betty Jo to jog Florabelle's memory. They all then have a wonderful evening.

5x23 - Uncle Joe Runs the Hotel

February 10, 1968

While Kate is away, Uncle Joe has been left to manage the hotel. Uncle Joe believes he needs to collect rent from their guests. Their only guest is 'Old Man' Bill Clayton, who Kate allowed to stay despite having no money. Uncle Joe decides to collect his rent or kick him out. Joe changes his mind, but Mr. Clayton sees the hotel bill in Joe's hand and decides to voluntarily leave. Thinking that he kicked Mr. Clayton out, the girls, Sam and Floyd treat Uncle Joe like a social outcast. Feeling bad, Uncle Joe decides to leave. Joe winds up staying in an old cabin with the very person he had leave the hotel. The girls and Steve find out where Uncle Joe's been hiding and get both him and Bill back.

5x24 - Billie Jo's First Record

February 17, 1968

Billie Jo is thrilled that her first 45 has been produced. The record company has plans to market it heavily. Billie Jo is worried that she won't be exciting enough for press agent Ted Swift, or the record buying public. Swift is not impressed by life at the Shady Rest as a means to market Billie Jo. He decides to market Billie Jo as a glamorous and sophisticated pampered southern belle. Steve and Betty Jo hate the idea because that's not the real Billie Jo. Billie Jo eventually decides she doesn't like the idea either, even if it risks her recording career. Mr. Cameron, from the record company, stops by and says he wants to promote Billie Jo just as she is.

5x25 - Mae's Helping Hand

February 24, 1968

Life at the Shady Rest is going well despite Kate's absence. The girls and Uncle Joe receive a letter from Cousin Mae who is planning on coming by to take charge. Cousin Mae's meddling quickly wreaks havoc for everyone. This includes the hotel's relationship with Drucker's Store, Steve and Betty Jo's remodeling plan for the cottage, Bobbie Jo's love life with Jeff and Billie Jo's singing career. Fortunately, sane and stable Aunt Helen arrives. As Helen too ends up a victim of Mae's meddling, she comes up with a plan to convince Mae that her time at the Shady Rest is at its end.

5x26 - Bad Day at Shady Rest

March 2, 1968

Jeff Powers is looking for a big story in his final week working as a reporter for the Hooterville World Guardian. He misses what may be the biggest story to hit Hooterville when Sam and Joe are held up by an armed masked bandit at the store. Joe is certain that he could identify the bandit if he saw him again. What Uncle Joe and the rest of the family are unaware of is that newly checked-in hotel guest Mr. Lawson is the bandit. Joe bad mouths Pixley's Sheriff Crandall for not doing enough to stop the bandit. The bank in Pixley is next to be robbed. Sheriff Crandall decides to deputize Joe. Uncle Joe's newest labor saving device at the hotel, a rubber life raft and a hat pin may be just what he needs to catch the crook.

5x27 - Cannonball for Sale

March 9, 1968

The Cannonball arrives at the Shady Rest with a "For Sale" sign and Homer Bedloe. The train will go to the highest bidder. One bid has already come in from a junk dealer who wants it for scrap. Bedloe also tells them that the sale is out of his hands because the C & FW Railroad has been sold to the H. Greene Company. The people of the valley decide to try and raise the money to outbid the junk dealer. They find out that bid is higher than what they can possibly raise. Uncle Joe and Sam decide to go to Chicago and meet with H. Greene. They discover that H. Greene is Henrietta Greene. Once Henrietta realizes how much the Cannonball means to the valley, she calls off the sale.

5x28 - My Pal Sam

March 16, 1968

Sam has decided to remodel the general store. It will be closed for five days while he goes on vacation. Sam decides spend his time at the Shady Rest. Joe is excited to have all this time with his best friend. But what Joe doesn't account for is that Sam may have plans of his own. Sam ends up spending most of his time helping Helen around the hotel. When Sam finds out on day four why Joe has been in a bad mood, Sam tries to make it up to him all in one day, even if it kills both him and Joe.

5x29 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding

March 23, 1968

Steve's is returning from a crop dusting convention and Betty Jo is celebrating with a large homecoming party. Everyone notices that Steve is not wearing his wedding ring. A suspicious Betty Jo later learns that Steve took it off to get it engraved, which Betty Jo had been wanting him to do for some time. They make a pact never to remove their wedding rings ever again. But when Betty Jo takes her ring off to show Bobbie Jo her engraving, she accidentally drops it down the kitchen sink drain. Betty Jo doesn't want Steve to find out. Uncle Joe tries to help, but that doesn't go well. Betty Jo then calls plumber Mr. Peck. But when she doesn't have the money to pay, Mr. Peck takes the ring until she can come up with the money. Uncle Joe comes up with a plan to get the ring back.

5x30 - Kate's Homecoming

March 30, 1968

In this valentine to Kate Bradley the citizens of Hooterville pull out all the stops to welcome Kate home, including a parade with floats, songs and fireworks. But first, arguments begin about where her official welcoming celebration will take place and who will preside over such an event. Mayor Potts wants to preside over it at a downtown location. Sam wants to preside over it outside his store. Selma wants to preside over it in her garden. And Joe wants to preside over it at the Shady Rest. They all wait for Kate's three o'clock arrival in front of Sam's store. Then they read her message to Uncle Joe and realize that Joe didn't read the part that said she will be arriving in Pixley. Amid the chaotic festivities, Kate muses "There's no doubt about it, I'm home.