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The Bill
Season 14
Episode 57

The Hare & The Tortoise

May 19, 1998

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The Bill - S14 - E57

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Stamp and Hagen clash over what makes a good area car driver.

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The Bill: Season 14 - 101 Episode s

14x7 - Girl Power
January 15, 1998
When a young girl has to carry a knife to defend herself at school, Keane and Stamp know it is time to step in.
14x8 - Puppy Walk
January 16, 1998
Stamp is cynical when he feels a woman with a sob story may be playing games, but Ashton is taken in by her charms.
14x9 - Sprog
January 20, 1998
Stamp and Page are sceptical as Ashton suggests there is more to a burglary than appears.
14x10 - Out On A Limb
January 22, 1998
It's a life or death situation for Skase and Proctor when an assassin comes looking for his money.
14x11 - Way Out West
January 23, 1998
Jarvis is full of his secondment to the Diplomatic Protection Group, so Stamp and Quinnan hatch a mischievous plan to take him down a peg or two.
14x12 - Storyboards
January 29, 1998
New PC Eddie Santini, tall, dark and handsome with a dubious past, causes a stir when he arrives to join the team at Sun Hill.
14x13 - For Your Love
January 30, 1998
Rawton and Skase assist a woman receiving anonymous threats.
14x14 - Soft In The Head
February 3, 1998
Ashton goes missing from the scene of an accident.
14x15 - Friends In High Places
February 5, 1998
A car belonging to a rival Chief Superintendent's wife is stolen right from under Santini and Quinnan's noses.
14x16 - Love's Labours Lost
February 6, 1998
Proctor and Skase investigate the stalking of Proctor's ex-girlfriend.
14x17 - Opposites
February 12, 1998
A series of muggings on a local estate lead Proctor and Carver to the house of a rather unusual couple.
14x18 - Solicitous
February 13, 1998
Meadows and Skase discover a modern-day Robin Hood who appears to be alive and well and robbing the rich in Sun Hill.
14x19 - A Rainy Night In Sun Hill
February 17, 1998
Santini is irritated at being paired with Hollis on a cold, wet night in Canley.
14x20 - Unwarranted
February 19, 1998
While in a rush to catch a crook, Ashton trips and falls foul of the law.
14x21 - A Bit Of Respect
February 20, 1998
Ackland sets out to trap a man who wants to take the law into his own hands.
14x22 - The Parent Trap
February 24, 1998
Croft is puzzled by a couple who want their daughter arrested.
14x23 - Sudden Death
February 26, 1998
Ackland and Quinnan are on the case when a man falls from his bedroom window. But was it an accident or office politics?
14x24 - Back Up
February 27, 1998
Carver is let down by an unreliable snout, and needs Beech to get him out of a tricky situation.
14x25 - A Little Help
March 3, 1998
Rawton and Skase realise they may be onto a serial attacker.
14x26 - Guiding Hand
March 5, 1998
Page and McCann investigate what appears to be a straightforward case of attempted child abduction.
14x27 - Good Faith: Part I
March 6, 1998
A clever lawyer runs rings around Beech in court in a case involving a notorious robber.
14x28 - Good Faith: Part II
March 10, 1998
The tit-for-tat violence escalates between rival gangs in Sun Hill.
14x29 - Good Faith: Part III
March 12, 1998
Beech's involvement with rival racketeers becomes more complicated.
14x30 - No Doubt About It
March 13, 1998
A hungover Garfield injures a member of the public during the pursuit of a burglar, but Monroe is sceptical of Garfield's motives when he names a potential suspect.
14x31 - One Of The Gang
March 17, 1998
Meadows and Daly get a tip-off about a gang of young muggers, but their information comes from an unlikely source...
14x32 - Without A Prayer
March 19, 1998
Garfield and Keane try to discover the cause of death of a woman found dead in a church hall.
14x33 - Lucky Find
March 20, 1998
When a girl goes missing by the river, Deakin sees an opportunity to nail an old adversary.
14x34 - A Little Bit Of Paradise
March 24, 1998
McCann is sent in search of a valuable exotic bird.
14x35 - Daydream Believer
March 26, 1998
Rawton and Daly investigate an assault on a resident of an old people's home.
14x36 - Powder My Nose
March 27, 1998
Conway is the target of a blackmail attempt following a drunken night out.
14x37 - Bad Feelings
March 31, 1998
Boulton is after a villain known to have an eye for the ladies.
14x38 - Like Family
April 2, 1998
Quinnan and Blake search for a missing French au pair who has been moonlighting as a stripper.
14x39 - Shattered
April 3, 1998
Cryer attends the death of a teenage girl and is subject to a complaint by the grieving father.
14x40 - Home Movie
April 7, 1998
Boyden uncovers an illicit pornographic video operation.
14x41 - Racer
April 9, 1998
Ashton tries to help a reformed teenage joyrider.
14x42 - The Scent Of Compassion
April 14, 1998
Ashton's sense of compassion is crucial in solving a cruel assault case.
14x43 - Driving Me Crazy
April 16, 1998
Quinnan and Ackland pursue a dangerous driver.
14x44 - Manhunt
April 16, 1998
Deakin and Carver investigate a case of male rape.
14x45 - Rebel Without A Licence
April 21, 1998
A speeding Pontiac and three ageing James Deans give Stamp and McCann a headache.
14x46 - Sale Or Return: Part I
April 23, 1998
Boulton and Carver head for the river, chasing a particularly slippery customer.
14x47 - Sale Or Return: Part II
April 24, 1998
Boulton and Carver continue thier investigation into illegal immigration and find their case complicated by an attractive woman.
14x48 - Target Man
April 24, 1998
While football fever grips Sun Hill, Deakin hopes to get his man by following a tip-off. With Hollis to help him, how can he fail?
14x49 - Mixed Feelings
April 28, 1998
Page tries to trace the mother of an abandoned baby, while Boulton and Rawton investigate an apparently racially motivated attack.
14x50 - Wannabe
May 1, 1998
Skase is sceptical of a 14-year-old girl so smitten with him that she accuses her parents of being drug dealers.
14x51 - One Small Step
May 5, 1998
Ashton, on his first solo outing, is distracted by a decoy while a nearby shop is burgled.
14x52 - Big Brother
May 7, 1998
Boyden introduces the relief to new Area Car driver Vicky Hagen, but her reputation takes an immediate blow when Jarvis reveals she grassed on a friend of his at another station.
14x53 - Volcano
May 8, 1998
Despite knowing the animosity between Jarvis and Hagen, Cryer pairs them in the area car on her first day, but Jarvis dubs her a "stupid cow" on the radio after she loses a suspect, putting his career and a potential transfer to the Diplomatic Protection Group at risk.
14x54 - Money Talks
May 12, 1998
Boyden gets friendly with Ashton's mother.
14x55 - Brighton Rocks: Part I
May 14, 1998
Beech wangles an expenses-paid trip to Brighton with Skase, but his night does not go as planned.
14x56 - Brighton Rocks: Part II
May 15, 1998
Skase persuades Brighton C.I.D. to help track down the missing Beech.
14x57 - The Hare & The Tortoise
May 19, 1998
Stamp and Hagen clash over what makes a good area car driver.
14x58 - The Better Man
May 21, 1998
Daly and Carver try to get evidence against a young drug addict suspected of brutally assaulting a police officer.
14x59 - Red Herrings
May 22, 1998
Carver and Proctor respond to a tip-off about the theft of some fish.
14x60 - Under The Grill
May 26, 1998
Boulton is less than thrilled to be placed on an interviewing course with Hollis, but gets the chance to exact revenge on an ex-colleague.
14x61 - The Stork
May 28, 1998
Keane and Garfield look into allegations that a New Age cult leader is encouraging under-aged girls to engage in sexual activity.
14x62 - One Of Us
May 29, 1998
Carver is shocked when a woman names his friend from a neighbouring station as a flasher.
14x63 - Room To Manoeuvre
June 2, 1998
Boulton and Hollis find themselves in pursuit of the same villain.
14x64 - Out Of Hand
June 4, 1998
Santini and Keane investigate a mysterious assault.
14x65 - Watching The Detectives
June 5, 1998
Rawton and Deakin investigate the mysterious disappearance of a woman who has been campaigning to free her husband from jail.
14x66 - A People Person
June 9, 1998
Tosh Lines and June Ackland investigate the death of an old acquaintance.
14x67 - Spray
June 16, 1998
Harker rushes to the aid of a woman in danger, but gets himself into trouble over his use of CS spray.
14x68 - Three Cheers
June 19, 1998
Hollis goes from a hero to a laughingstock when he arrests a notorious cat burglar before receiving an official complaint for throwing his lunch into a nearby garden. When the burglar asks to be interviewed by Hollis, he senses a chance to shut his mocking colleagues up.
14x69 - Up For Trouble
June 23, 1998
Hollis is due to collect his commendation, but his colleagues know he doesn't deserve one.
14x70 - The Bus Driver's Prayer
June 25, 1998
Page is shocked when a man shows up at the front desk armed with a gun, claiming to have shot a man and left him for dead.
14x71 - Loving Memory
June 26, 1998
Cryer re-opens an unsolved case in response to an attempted suicide.
14x72 - Stop
July 1, 1998
Boulton suspects that Hollis is involved in a series of burglaries.
14x73 - Deep Secret
July 2, 1998
Garfield teams up with an attractive young journalist when the wreckage of a World War II Spitfire is discovered in Sun Hill.
14x74 - The Whip Hand
July 9, 1998
Datta pairs with Quinnan to investigate a case of domestic abuse, and receives a surprise offer from Monroe.
14x75 - Bang!
July 10, 1998
Harker and Keane's failure to properly search a prisoner leads to them being held at gunpoint in custody with Boyden.
14x76 - Unlicensed
July 14, 1998
Skase and Rawton investigate a woman's claims that she is being harassed by a former lover.
14x77 - Vacant Possession
July 16, 1998
Boyden and Page investigate a death from asphyxiation and try to establish whether the paving stone placed on his chimney was an act of murder.
14x78 - Sucking Eggs
July 17, 1998
Beech and Carver investigate the theft of a grandfather clock.
14x79 - Tainted Love: Part I
July 21, 1998
Page is on top of the world as she moves out of the section house and finds a boyfriend, unaware he has a criminal history.
14x80 - Tainted Love: Part II
July 23, 1998
Boulton asks Page to spy on her own boyfriend.
14x81 - Tainted Love: Part III
July 24, 1998
Feeling she has wrecked Boulton's operation, how can Page continue her relationship with Danny?
14x82 - Cooking
July 28, 1998
Greig's request for tenure is rejected. He distracts himself by pairing with Deakin to investigate allegations by a prisoner that his recently released cellmate is dealing drugs.
14x83 - Fighting Chance
July 30, 1998
Garfield and Quinnan fear for the safety of a boxer who has disappeared, abandoning his young son.
14x84 - King Of The Road
August 4, 1998
Hollis suggests using an old caravan as a mobile police station.
14x85 - Wrong Place Wrong Time
August 6, 1998
Hagen and Harker have to contend with an unreliable witness.
14x86 - One Man Two Faces
August 11, 1998
McCann and Santini fall out over a vicious assault on a black youth.
14x87 - Shoot The Messenger
August 13, 1998
Boulton is kidnapped by an aggrieved ex-con.
14x88 - Too Little Too Late
August 20, 1998
Skase and Daly investigate an assault outside a gay club, but a key witness is reluctant to come forward.
14x89 - Deep End
August 25, 1998
New W.P.C. Rosie Fox is partnered with P.C. Eddie Santini to investigate when the body of a junkie is washed up on the banks of the Thames. Santini and Fox argue over their cases, and it seems their working relationship will not be a smooth one. Santini reckons graduate Fox will not be able to handle the pressure when she goes undercover as a prostitute in a CID operation, then nearly ruins the operation when he finds himself attracted to her. Celebrating a successful arrest, the two share a drunken snog back at the station, but moments later Santini forces himself on Fox in the locker room, leaving her confused and frightened.
14x90 - The Party's Over
August 27, 1998
P.C. Santini tries to apologize to W.P.C. Fox for going too far against her wishes the night before but she tells him to stay away from her. Santini obtains Fox's address from CAD and calls on her but she doesn't want to speak to him. Fox tells a Federation representative from Stafford Row about the assault but can't decide whether to make a formal complaint. The next day, the pair are assigned together. Santini loses a prisoner and blames it on Fox. Santini calls at Fox's flat that evening. She refuses to let him in. He threatens that if she wants a war, she's got a war.
14x91 - Bang Bang You're Dead
August 28, 1998
W.P.C. Fox takes the day off with a migraine but turns up for the relief's paintball charity challenge, where Santini continues to bully and humiliate her. Her request not to be partnered with Santini is refused, and they are assigned together again the next day. Fox confides in W.D.C. Rawton. The relief are on the trail of a dangerous prisoner and Santini disregards the order not to separate from his partner. The man grabs Fox from behind and P.C.s Santini, Quinnan and Ashton run to the rescue when she screams for help. Fox manages to overpower the man. When challenged, Santini claims that he was with Fox when the prisoner appeared from nowhere.
14x92 - Team Spirit
September 1, 1998
W.P.C. Fox makes an official complaint about P.C. Santini.
14x93 - Urgent Assistance
September 15, 1998
P.C. Stamp is involved in a serious accident in which he kills a pedestrian while reversing the area car down a one-way street in response to a call for urgent assistance. Tensions are high as P.C.s Quinnan and Ashton offer differing accounts of the events leading up to the accident.
14x94 - Taking Sides
September 22, 1998
Stamp attends the funeral of the pedestrian he knocked over, but he receives a less than warm reception. Later, he and Quinnan arrest the driver of a cut-and-shut limousine and end up taking a bride to her wedding. Meanwhile, Hagen and McCann deal with a group of underage drinkers at a local pub, but when they return, they take Ashton hostage. Page is in court for the sentencing of Catherine Harrison, a persistent offender who has burgled an old lady whilst she was on holiday. When her son is accused of theft at a children's home, Stamp and Ashton pursue him to the court, only to watch his mother receive a custodial sentence.
14x95 - Deadly Impact
September 29, 1998
It's Stamp's big day in court, and despite the fact that Quinnan has been called as a prosecution witness against him, his barrister is confident he will be found not guilty. When a witness to the incident is pulled apart for exaggerating the facts, Stamp realises that his chances of being found innocent are greater than he first thought. Ashton, his key defence witness, suffers a bout of nerves after advice from Hollis, but after conferring with Quinnan, manages to stay firm and keep the jury on side, while Conway is called as a character witness. Can his colleagues save his career, or are his years of loyal service going to be snuffed out by a guilty verdict?
14x96 - Big Day
October 6, 1998
Beech and Conway attend a police event to receive medals for long-standing service and excellent conduct. Beech is surprised to find that an old flame of his has defected to C.I.B., and is currently investigating one of the officers with whom he trained at Hendon. Anxious to get to the bottom of the investigation, Beech questions his old friend on details of his misgivings. Stamp's day to face the police disciplinary board has arrived, but after seeing one of his old friends from Stafford Row being sacked for a minor driving offence, he does a runner. Garfield has to convince him to face the board to clear his conscience once and for all.
14x97 - Making Up
October 13, 1998
Hagen goes undercover as a prostitute to trap a solicitor who has been selling forged passports to his clients, and a violent thug whom he helped escape bail. Skase takes a number of faked surveillance pictures of Hagen and Harker doing a 'drug deal', but when Harker and McCann stop the solicitor for jumping a red light, Deakin is furious that they may have blown the obbo. However, the solicitor fails to recognize Harker and the deal goes ahead as planned. Meanwhile, Stamp gets behind the wheel of the area car for the first time since the fatal accident, hoping to put recent events behind him, but the victim's girlfriend isn't about to let him forget the incident, starting a campaign of intimidation against him.
14x98 - The Cross
October 20, 1998
Boulton is paired with new DC Kerry Holmes to investigate a gang who have been purchasing bikes with cheques stolen in an armed robbery. Boulton is keen to speak to Michael Duggan, a prime target that has evaded his capture for some time. Duggan, however, offers Boulton a deal - his brother-in-law, Sean Massey, is involved in a highly lucrative drug deal, and he knows the time, location and other parties involved. Boulton arranges a sting to catch the dealer red handed - however, Duggan does a runner with the money that Massey is due to hand over, and the dealer claims that Massey was told by his brother to plant the drugs on him. Holmes, however, has an idea on how to unravel the situation.
14x99 - Cast No Shadow
October 27, 1998
Boulton investigates when a young girl is approached and attacked on the way home from school. Her father, a property developer, has been having trouble with a gang involved in a pub protection racket. Unable to locate the prime suspect, Michael Hyde, Boulton poses as a competition representative to get the location from his wife. He and Carver travel up to Manchester on Hyde's trail. When they run into trouble at a local pub, they find themselves being rescued by none other than Frank Burnside, who left Sun Hill in mysterious circumstances five years ago. Burnside, who is actually undercover, tries to inadvertently help his former colleagues to find and capture Hyde, but the plan goes awry.
14x100 - Betrayal
October 29, 1998
Boulton and Carver return to Sun Hill with Burnside in handcuffs, but upon their arrival, are pursued by two armed gunman who try to make sure that Burnside doesn't spill the beans on Hyde's operation. Meadows discovers that Burnside has been working under cover with the Yard, and decides that they must work together to get a result. Burnside manages to set up a meeting with a major Russian drugs importer, just as Michael Hyde planned to do. However, when his brother, Mark, works out what Burnside is up to, a standoff involving Burnside and his girlfriend ensues, and tragedy strikes. Burnside is then offered a job with crime OCCU, and informs Meadows they will be seeing more of each other.
14x101 - All For One
October 30, 1998
Santini is first on the scene of a serious car accident, and becomes a bit of a local hero when he bravely dives into the river to secure the car, which is teetering on the edge. However, the driver reveals to him that upon his possession he has a bag of cocaine, a present for his mistress. He asks Santini to destroy it if he doesn't make it. Santini manages to take possession of the bag when he recovers his personal affairs at the mortuary, but when Stamp and Garfield inadvertently discover Santini's misgivings, it's not long before they realise that their fellow officer may be playing for the other side. Harker is on the fence when Santini gives him a cock and bull story about the situation.
14x102 - Trial Run
November 3, 1998
Skase calls in sick so he can moonlight as a bodyguard. He is charged with providing protection for the two teenage sons of a very wealthy Asian aristocrat. During a shopping trip, one of his teenage charges does a runner, taking his Mercedes with him. When Harker and Page spot the vehicle travelling at high speed, Skase is nearly caught out. However, when he discovers that the boy is hiding out at a nearby drugs den, he arrives to find Boulton ready to raid the joint. Forced to explain the situation, Skase enlists Boulton to help him recover the boy without blowing the operation, and in turn Skase manages to pinpoint the location of the dealer's stash.
14x103 - Section F
November 6, 1998
Meadows and Conway are both up for promotion against each other, and with an impending inspection from Area, both are out to impress. However, there are some comic and some life-threatening repercussions for them both. Firstly, Quinnan and Garfield deliberately ruin the late turn parade leading Skase into hot water, and he and Quinnan nearly coming to blows in front of Brownlow. Meanwhile, Sgt. Lamont is dealing with a troublesome prisoner in custody, who keeps flooding the toilets. Conway tries to lend a hand, but this only leads to further disasters. A young boy is then held hostage by an escaped prisoner who is armed, and Conway, against instruction, goes it alone to try and secure the boy's safety.
14x104 - Bad Chemistry
November 10, 1998
Holmes investigates when a woman is attacked in her flat and left for dead in a particularly violent domestic violence case. She initially suspects that the woman's landlord, Jamie Morgan, is responsible for the attack, but when she catches the woman having a row with her boyfriend, she arrests him for criminal damage, unaware that she has inadvertently jeopardised a surveillance operation on a major drugs dealer. As Merseyside area drugs become involved, Holmes manages to locate the factory where the drugs are being produced, but a sting set up to catch the villains in the act takes an unexpected turn when they become involved in a violent shootout, and take a young boy and his mum hostage.
14x105 - Dog Eat Dog
November 13, 1998
Cryer attends the scene when a prostitute is slashed across the face with a machete and subsequently hospitalized. The prime suspect, Alvin Morton, was released from prison just ten days previously, and Cryer is determined to send him back there. Meanwhile, when the prostitute retracts her statement, and Alvin's girlfriend provides him with an alibi, Santini mishandles the situation and gives Alvin's location to two of her friends who have vowed revenge on her attacker. When Alvin is shot and doubly kneecapped, Cryer is curious to learn just how they found out where Alvin was staying. A box of matches with Alvin's address written in it then surfaces during interview, landing Santini in deep trouble.
14x106 - Indiscretion
November 17, 1998
Skase attends the scene of a fire at a 'sex cinema' club, where a reportedly angry punter set alight to the club after being refused entry. However, it later transpires that the culprit caught two foreign men watching a police interview tape of his girlfriend, aged twelve, who was being interviewed over sexual assault claims made against her father. Assigned to investigate, Rawton teams up with a DS from the Child Protection Unit, and the pair try to find out how a number of police evidence tapes have managed to worm their way out for general consumption. Skase isn't convinced that the manager of the club is telling the whole truth, while Rawton investigates a dodgy practice lawyer who copied the tapes.
14x107 - The Rate For The Job
November 20, 1998
Meadows asks Deakin to have more of a 'hands-on' approach after a row erupts between Beech and Daly. All three of the CID sergeants, meanwhile, are having problems. Daly's operation into a known stolen goods handler is blown when Carver spooks the suspect by accident. Boulton has had word that a known criminal who is due for sentencing in just two days plans to do a final job in order to tide him over whilst he is inside. However, his snout is cornered by the suspect and the gang arrive at the planned location - only to give Boulton the eye that they are onto him. Lastly, Beech is troubled when an old flame offers him £3,000 to reveal details of an investigation into her current boyfriend by Daly.

14x7 - Girl Power

14x8 - Puppy Walk

14x9 - Sprog

14x10 - Out On A Limb

14x11 - Way Out West

14x12 - Storyboards

14x13 - For Your Love

14x14 - Soft In The Head

14x15 - Friends In High Places

14x16 - Love's Labours Lost

14x17 - Opposites

14x18 - Solicitous

14x19 - A Rainy Night In Sun Hill

14x20 - Unwarranted

14x21 - A Bit Of Respect

14x22 - The Parent Trap

14x23 - Sudden Death

14x24 - Back Up

14x25 - A Little Help

14x26 - Guiding Hand

14x27 - Good Faith: Part I

14x28 - Good Faith: Part II

14x29 - Good Faith: Part III

14x30 - No Doubt About It

14x31 - One Of The Gang

14x32 - Without A Prayer

14x33 - Lucky Find

14x34 - A Little Bit Of Paradise

14x35 - Daydream Believer

14x36 - Powder My Nose

14x37 - Bad Feelings

14x38 - Like Family

14x39 - Shattered

14x40 - Home Movie

14x41 - Racer

14x42 - The Scent Of Compassion

14x43 - Driving Me Crazy

14x44 - Manhunt

14x45 - Rebel Without A Licence

14x46 - Sale Or Return: Part I

14x47 - Sale Or Return: Part II

14x48 - Target Man

14x49 - Mixed Feelings

14x50 - Wannabe

14x51 - One Small Step

14x52 - Big Brother

14x53 - Volcano

14x54 - Money Talks

14x55 - Brighton Rocks: Part I

14x56 - Brighton Rocks: Part II

14x57 - The Hare & The Tortoise

14x58 - The Better Man

14x59 - Red Herrings

14x60 - Under The Grill

14x61 - The Stork

14x62 - One Of Us

14x63 - Room To Manoeuvre

14x64 - Out Of Hand

14x65 - Watching The Detectives

14x66 - A People Person

14x67 - Spray

14x68 - Three Cheers

14x69 - Up For Trouble

14x70 - The Bus Driver's Prayer

14x71 - Loving Memory

14x72 - Stop

14x73 - Deep Secret

14x74 - The Whip Hand

14x75 - Bang!

14x76 - Unlicensed

14x77 - Vacant Possession

14x78 - Sucking Eggs

14x79 - Tainted Love: Part I

14x80 - Tainted Love: Part II

14x81 - Tainted Love: Part III

14x82 - Cooking

14x83 - Fighting Chance

14x84 - King Of The Road

14x85 - Wrong Place Wrong Time

14x86 - One Man Two Faces