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- Season 3
- Episode 96
The Colbert Report: Season 3 - 93 Episode s
3x46 - Jeannette Walls
April 10, 2007
Stephen scolded the 15 British sailors whom after recently returning from captivity in Iran were seeking to publish accounts of their experience. In "The Word", he talked about America's bogus health care crisis. Stephen then changed the subject to an ethnic remark that he made against Hungarians on his fictional radio show, Colbert On the Ert (pronounced "air"), in which he described Hungarians as "those paprika-snorting ghoulies."
3x47 - Vali Nasr
April 11, 2007
Stephen introduced the latest eponymic animal, Stephanie Colburtle, one of the leatherback sea turtles being tracked from Costa Rica to the Galapagos Islands. In "The Word", Stephen revisited Monday's story about the 15 British sailors; in response to a British colonel making the distinction between the soldiers' experiences and reality TV, Stephen devised the notion that perhaps Americans should "make the war a reality show" to achieve success in Iraq and to prepare for a future "spin-off in Iraq."
3x48 - Dr. Richard Land
April 12, 2007
Stephen criticized Democratic senator Harry Reid for using "politicizing the war in Iraq" by citing a translation of a recent speech by Pope Benedict XVI. In "The Wørd," Stephen praised the president for proposing a new "war czar" position that would "chiefly be in command" of managing wars. Later aired a video describing Stephen's building manager Tad's quest to find a female companion for Stephen Jr., the eponymous bald eagle being tracked by GPS.
3x49 - John Kerry
April 16, 2007
Stephen begins by issuing a correction for having called Boyd K. Packer the "Mormon Pope" or "Mope," when he is more of a Mormon Cardinal, or "Mardinal." Colbert then compares Don Imus' firing with upcoming testimony of Alberto Gonzales before Congress regarding the U.S. Attorney firings scandal.
3x50 - Elaine Pagels
April 17, 2007
Stephen announced that he will be having a metaphor-off with Sean Penn on Thursday's show. Update on Stephanie Colburtle the turtle who was in 2nd place at the time of broadcast on the race to the Galápagos Islands, by some logic "proving Darwin wrong." Short mention of Iraqi insurgents.
3x51 - Paulina Porizkova
April 18, 2007
On Who's NOT honoring me now, Stephen complained that he was not being awarded a Pulitzer Prize in journalism. In "The Word," Stephen suggested the corporate sponsorship of the War on Terror since the "War on Terror is more than a name." Video showed promoting bovine growth hormones in dairy cows.
3x52 - Sean Penn
April 19, 2007
Stephen balks at a scientific study saying that chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Word," he talks about John Edwards' haircut and considers him going over to the Republican party. Colbert then interviews Sean Penn, and leads to a Meta-Free-Phor-All hosted by Pinsky (the decider of topics for the rounds used humorous pictures and sound effects in the style of The Daily Show's "God Machine," which Colbert usually took part in).
3x53 - Russell Simmons
April 23, 2007
3x54 - Dr. Andrew Weil
April 24, 2007
The first act opens with a remembrance of Boris Yeltsin. Stephen continues with a combative interview with Eleanor Holmes Norton regarding a recent bill to give the District of Columbia a vote in the U.S. House of Representatives. In "The Word," Stephen comments on EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson's announcement that the Bush Administration's anti-global warming efforts are delivering "real results".
3x55 - David Walker
April 25, 2007
Colbert decides that a new name is necessary for the long war, and comes up with Freemerican Victernity Made in China. He then backs the idea of having illegal immigrants fight in the armed services in exchange for citizenship. He points out his position on the cover of GQ, then complains about the Four Horsemen of the A-pop-calypse: movies, television, music, and books.
3x56 - Madeleine Bordallo
April 26, 2007
Stephen is unhappy at the fact that Stephanie Colburtle The Turtle did not win The Great Turtle Race, after being bested by another turtle named Billy. He claims Billy is a male, and demands a re-race. (After explaining that one can tell the sex of a turtle by the concavity of its plastron, Stephen says that he checks the plastron on "all [his] dates, and if it's not concave, [he is] outta there."
3x57 - Neil deGrasse Tyson
April 30, 2007
"It's the last day of April. One more month 'till Speedo season! Do your squats. This is The Colbert Report.
3x58 - Malcolm Gladwell
May 1, 2007
3x59 - Gina Kolata
May 2, 2007
3x60 - Conn Iggulden
May 3, 2007
3x61 - Richard Preston
May 7, 2007
3x62 - Nassi Nicholas Taleb
May 8, 2007
3x63 - Salman Rushdie, Jane Fonda
May 9, 2007
3x64 - Jann Wenner
May 10, 2007
3x65 - William Langewiesche
May 14, 2007
3x66 - Walter Isaacson
May 15, 2007
3x67 - Howard Dean
May 16, 2007
3x68 - Randy Kearse, Rep. Tom Delay
May 17, 2007
3x69 - Jared Diamond
May 21, 2007
3x70 - John Amaechi
May 22, 2007
3x71 - Bay Buchanan, Bob Deans
May 23, 2007
3x72 - Jimmy Wales
May 24, 2007
3x73 - Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Leon Botstein
June 4, 2007
3x74 - Jessica Valenti
June 5, 2007
3x75 - Carl Bernstein
June 6, 2007
3x76 - Cullen Murphy
June 7, 2007
3x77 - Dr. Michael D. Gershon
June 11, 2007
3x78 - Josh Wolf
June 12, 2007
3x79 - Rep. Ron Paul
June 13, 2007
3x80 - Daniel B. Smith
June 14, 2007
3x81 - Toby Keith
June 18, 2007
3x82 - Anne-Marie Slaughter
June 19, 2007
3x83 - Will Schwalbe
June 20, 2007
3x84 - Vincent Bugliosi
June 21, 2007
3x85 - Tom Hayden
June 25, 2007
3x86 - David France
June 26, 2007
3x87 - Tom Blanton, Daniel Gilbert
June 27, 2007
3x88 - Doug Bailey
June 28, 2007
3x89 - Richard Florida, Ben Nelson
July 16, 2007
3x90 - Mark Moffett
July 17, 2007
3x91 - John Mellencamp
July 18, 2007
3x92 - Frank Sulloway
July 19, 2007
3x93 - Simon Schama
July 23, 2007
3x94 - Anthony D. Romero
July 24, 2007
3x95 - Charles Kaiser
July 25, 2007
3x96 - Robert Shrum
July 26, 2007
3x97 - Evan Osnos
July 30, 2007
3x98 - Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
July 31, 2007
3x99 - Michael Beschloss
August 1, 2007
3x100 - Michael J. Behe
August 2, 2007
3x101 - Ian Bogost
August 7, 2007
3x102 - Jim Cramer, Tina Brown
August 8, 2007
3x103 - Judd Apatow
August 9, 2007
3x104 - Michael Jacobson
August 13, 2007
3x105 - Jerry Miller, Spencer Wells
August 14, 2007
3x106 - Michael Wallis
August 15, 2007
From the previous episode, Stephen again mentions the possibility that his ancestors were Jewish. He then discusses perceived inflammatory speech on the Daily Kos website and interviews the website's founder, Markos Moulitsas. In the "Monkey on the Lam" segment, Stephen talks about a capuchin monkey that picked the lock on his cage door at a zoo in Tupelo, Mississippi for the second time in two weeks. He then discusses Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' failure to meet his potential. Finally, Stephen interviews Michael Wallis about the Lincoln Highway.
3x107 - Mike Huckabee
August 16, 2007
Stephen begins by asking people not to watch his interview with Richard Branson on August 22, which has been reported in the media as a "trainwreck." Stephen then interviews Mike Huckabee, claiming that he came second in the Iowa Straw Poll due to his appearances on The Colbert Report, and what Stephen claims is the "Colbert Bump."
3x108 - Nathan Sawaya
August 20, 2007
Stephen continues to attack wrist violence, and says the worst offender in "Wrist snuff" is Steven Seagal. He also announces that his "WristStrong" wristbands are now available from colbertneation.com, and all proceeds go to help the Yellow Ribbon Fund. Stephen introduces a new segement, "Nailed 'Em", focusing on successful stories in the criminal justice system.
3x109 - Michael Shermer
August 21, 2007
Stephen starts with the \"Smokin\' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches\" segment, where he attacks Canada\'s claim to the Northwest Passage through the Arctic, claiming it belongs to the United States. In \"The Word,\" Stephen attacks WikiScanner claiming it prevents corporations from editing their own entries, and describes Wikipedia as, \"Second Life for corporations\".
3x110 - Richard Branson
August 22, 2007
In \"Colbert Platinum\", he talks about the shutting down of a helipad in Saint-Tropez and the growing demand for champagne. He then interviews Richard Branson about Virgin America and \"Air Colbert\". However, as the interview goes on, Branson and Stephen throw water over each other.
3x111 - Thomas E. Ricks
August 23, 2007
Stephen reviews the Iraq War and Dick Cheney\'s role in advocating it. He then interviews Thomas E. Ricks about the war. Stephen then talks about his broken wrist and shows a documentary film entitled Fractured Freedom: The Stephen Colbert Story. He announces that several people had signed his cast, including Nancy Pelosi, Tim Russert, Tony Snow, Brian Williams, Bill O\'Reilly and Michael Bloomberg.
3x112 - Bjorn Lomborg
September 10, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the former director of the Environmental Assessment Institute and author of Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist’s Guide to Global Warming, Bjorn Lomborg.
3x113 - Garrison Keillor
September 11, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes humorist and author of Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor.
3x114 - Joel Klein
September 12, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chancellor of New York City Schools, Joel Klein.
3x115 - Ed Begley Jr
September 13, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actor and environmental activist and co-author of Grassroots Rising, Ed Begley jr. Also Stephen talks with Father James Martin, author of My Life with the Saints, over recent revelations regarding Mother Teresa having doubts about God.
3x116 - Susan Sarandon
September 18, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actress and activist and the co-star of In the Valley of Elah, Susan Sarandon.
3x117 - Naomi Wolf
September 19, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes feminist and author of The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot, Naomi Wolf
3x118 - Jeffrey Toobin
September 20, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes legal writer and author of The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, Jeffrey Toobin.
3x119 - Thomas Friedman
September 24, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Times columnist and author of The World is Flat [Updated and Expanded]: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, Thomas Firedman
3x120 - John Grisham
September 25, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes retired attorney and author of Playing For Pizza, John Grisham.
3x121 - Tony Bennett
September 26, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes opera singer Nathan Gunn, whose new CD is Just Before Sunrise.
3x122 - David Schwartz
September 27, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief film curator of the Museum of Moving Image, David Schwartz.
3x123 - Charlie Savage
October 1, 2007
3x124 - John Mearsheimer
October 2, 2007
3x125 - Jim Lovell
October 3, 2007
3x126 - John Kao
October 4, 2007
3x127 - George Saunders
October 8, 2007
3x128 - Stephen Colbert
October 9, 2007
3x129 - Gen. Wesley Clark
October 10, 2007
3x130 - Chris Jordan
October 11, 2007
3x131 - Paul Glastris
October 15, 2007
3x132 - Bob Drogin
October 16, 2007
3x133 - Garry Kasparov
October 17, 2007
3x134 - Craig Newmark
October 18, 2007
3x135 - Richard Berman
October 29, 2007
3x136 - Craig Venter
October 30, 2007
3x137 - Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
October 31, 2007
3x138 - Walter Kirn
November 1, 2007
The Colbert Report: All seasons
S0: Specials
10 Episode s
S1: Season 1
32 Episode s
S2: Season 2
161 Episode s
S3: Season 3
138 Episode s
S4: Season 4
160 Episode s
S5: Season 5
161 Episode s
S6: Season 6
161 Episode s
S7: Season 7
124 Episode s
S8: Season 8
155 Episode s
S9: Season 9
155 Episode s
S10: Season 10
160 Episode s
S11: Season 11
40 Episode s