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The Colbert Report
Season 8
Episode 103

Alan Alda

May 30, 2012

0.0%

The Colbert Report - S8 - E103

A Mexican cartel burns down PepsiCo, gay bars target bachelorettes, Mitt Romney breaks into iPhone apps, Robert Mugabe heads global tourism, and Alan Alda talks science.

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The Colbert Report: Season 8 - 101 Episode s

8x53 - Björk
January 31, 2012
Sarah Palin spitefully endorses Newt Gingrich, Tennessee Tea Partiers strive to remove slavery from school textbooks, and Björk explores new methods for creating music.
8x54 - Ameena Matthews
February 1, 2012
Mitt Romney beats Newt Gingrich in Florida, Stephen announces Americone Dream's 2012 election edition packaging, and Ameena Matthews strives to end gang violence.
8x55 - Christiane Amanpour
February 2, 2012
Stephen unveils GOP super PACs' biggest donors, Newt Gingrich faces a copyright infringement lawsuit, and Christiane Amanpour examines Iran's political environment.
8x56 - Bill McKibben
February 13, 2012
The New York Knicks' Jeremy Lin seduces America, Stephen writes a love letter to Jimmy Fallon, and Bill McKibben fights the Keystone XL pipeline.
8x57 - William J. Broad
February 14, 2012
Catholics oppose the Obama administration's birth control mandate, a Seattle woman marries a building, and William Broad considers the effects of yoga on the mind and body.
8x58 - Ann Patchett
February 20, 2012
Mitt Romney deploys Donald Trump in Michigan, Rick Santorum attacks environmentalists, and Ann Patchett fights to revive bookstores.
8x59 - Robert Kagan
February 21, 2012
Prince Pierre Casiraghi of Monaco sustains a beating, Nancy Pelosi slams Colbert Super PAC, and Robert Kagan examines Iran's potential nuclear threat.
8x60 - Nancy Pelosi
February 22, 2012
Stephen gives up something he truly enjoys for Lent, Target knows when customers miss their periods, and Nancy Pelosi objects to super PACs.
8x61 - Placido Domingo
February 23, 2012
Mitt Romney wins the Arizona GOP debate, Elie Wiesel protests the Mormon conversion of dead Jews, and Placido Domingo discusses his operatic performances.
8x62 - Peggielene Bartels
February 27, 2012
The Oscars' liberal clusterfarce unfolds, Rick Santorum criticizes Barack Obama's promotion of higher learning, and Peggielene Bartels talks about her kingship.
8x63 - Ross Eisenbrey
February 28, 2012
The Colbert Report airs its 1000th episode, rising oil prices threaten Barack Obama's approval rating, and Ross Eisenbrey examines the problem of unpaid labor.
8x64 - William Shatner
February 29, 2012
Mitt Romney takes Michigan, researchers develop a male birth control pill, and William Shatner revels in his own beauty.
8x65 - Claire Danes
March 1, 2012
Republicans eye Jeb Bush as a potential GOP candidate, researchers discover a 3500-year-old "Yo Mama" joke, and Claire Danes discusses mental health.
8x66 - Audra McDonald
March 5, 2012
Host Stephen Colbert interviews Audra McDonald and discusses the day's news and important topics.
8x67 - Jonathan Safran Foer
March 6, 2012
Stephen prepares a Super Tuesday tailgating party, Attorney General Holder redefines due process, candy bars shrink, and Jonathan Safran Foer talks Passover traditions.
8x68 - Willem Dafoe
March 7, 2012
Stephen prepares for Super Tuesday results, CNN visits a virtual Republican National Convention, Iran poses a new threat, and Willem Dafoe goes Martian for "John Carter."
8x69 - Don Fleming, Elvis Costello, & Emmylou Harris
March 8, 2012
Stephen prank calls Eric Bolling, is inspired by Herman Cain's avant-garde ad, and talks folk music with Elvis Costello, Emmylou Harris and Don Fleming.
8x70 - Katherine Boo
March 12, 2012
The Republican Southern primary leads to blue collar pandering, Dave "Mudcat" Saunders talks Southern strategy, and Katherine Boo discusses poverty and Mumbai's slums.
8x71 - Andrew Bird
March 13, 2012
Seattle's Pop Conference overlooks Stephen's dissertation; Pat Robertson and Muslim-American reality shows pose threats; and Andrew Bird performs "Eyeoneye."
8x72 - Mark McKinnon
March 14, 2012
Greg Smith is a "Banker-dict Arnold," Rick Santorum condemns teleprompters, Kermit the Frog weighs in on the GOP primary race, and Mark McKinnon talks about reforming Congress.
8x73 - Dexter Filkins
March 15, 2012
Stephen is suspicious of geriatric jihadists, Rick Santorum speaks from his heart, and Dexter Filkins tells Stephen why we need other countries.
8x74 - David Page
March 26, 2012
Geraldo Rivera blames the Trayvon Martin shooting on hoodies, Mitt Romney boosts Etch a Sketch sales, and biomedical researcher Dr. David Page defends the Y chromosome.
8x75 - Charles Murray
March 27, 2012
Host Stephen Colbert interviews Charles Murray and discusses the day's news and important topics.
8x76 - Mark Ruffalo
March 28, 2012
The Supreme Court weighs in on Obamacare, a new magazine targets conservative teens, and Mark Ruffalo discusses the dangers of fracking.
8x77 - Peter Beinart
March 29, 2012
Stephen involves college students with Colbert Super PAC, Mitt Romney tries comedy, and Peter Beinart discusses Israel.
8x78 - Gary Johnson
April 2, 2012
College students order up Colbert Super PAC's Super Fun Pack, beef state governors defend pink slime, and Governor Gary Johnson runs as the 2012 Libertarian candidate.
8x79 - Nikki Haley
April 3, 2012
Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack adds not-legal advice, Colbert Super PAC SHH! faces scrutiny, Rick Santorum speaks from his heart, and Governor Nikki Haley challenges Stephen.
8x80 - Robert Ballard
April 4, 2012
Colbert Super PAC segments earn a Peabody award, Mitt Romney must appeal to Latino voters, Quaker Oats gets a facelift, and deep sea explorer Robert Ballard talks Titanic.
8x81 - Anne Rice
April 5, 2012
Unemployment drops, Colbert's Very Wanted tracks a mailbox mutilator, a biker brightens Stephen's commute, and Anne Rice deals with werewolf psychology in "The Wolf Gift."
8x82 - Bob Lutz
April 9, 2012
The Easter Bunny meets competition down under, Mitt Romney reaps a potential running mate, Germany's elderly gymnast depresses Stephen, and Bob Lutz talks car business.
8x83 - Richard Hersh
April 10, 2012
Rick Santorum drops his presidential campaign, the EPA sets coal industry regulations, Stephen honors male "Lady Heroes," and Richard Hersh examines higher education.
8x84 - Michelle Obama
April 11, 2012
Troops and their families face unique economic challenges, Stephen trains a Marine to be a pundit, and Michelle Obama voices support for military families.
8x85 - James Cameron
April 12, 2012
Mitt Romney flips the "war on women" script with the help of Hilary Rosen, survivalist singles embrace online dating, and director James Cameron talks "Titanic 3D."
8x86 - Bonnie Raitt
April 16, 2012
The Secret Service commits a sex scandal, Newt Gingrich endorses global gun rights, and blues performer Bonnie Raitt sings from her album "Slipstream."
8x87 - Jonah Lehrer
April 17, 2012
Mitt Romney reveals his prankster side, insects add color to Starbucks drinks, GSA spending sparks outrage, and Jonah Lehrer explores creativity.
8x88 - Arianna Huffington
April 18, 2012
Mitt Romney seeks a bland running mate, Tennessee outlaws "gateway sexual activity" education, survivalists plan for the unthinkable, and Arianna Huffington talks journalism.
8x89 - Tavis Smiley & Cornel West
April 19, 2012
Cory Booker saves one of his constituents, bologna smuggling is on the rise, Time Magazine honors Stephen, and guests Tavis Smiley and Cornel West talk poverty in America.
8x90 - Don McLeroy
April 23, 2012
Steve Doocy reports on Barack Obama's subtext, Arizona redefines pregnancy, Mitt Romney insults a Pittsburgh bakery, and Don McLeroy discusses textbook standards.
8x91 - Magnus Carlsen
April 24, 2012
Super Tuesday II goes live, Stephen plugs his children's book, Julie Andrews discusses fairy tales, Canada creates a bioluminescent coin, and Magnus Carlsen talks chess.
8x92 - Michael Sandel
April 25, 2012
NASA shuts down its "Spacebook" site, some blame immigrants for global warming, feeding tube diets gain popularity, and Michael Sandel considers market ethics.
8x93 - Jack White
April 26, 2012
Republicans attack Barack Obama's slow jam, Stephen releases the first Super Fun Pack treasure hunt clue, and Jack White discusses his solo album and rare marketing ploy.
8x94 - Diane Keaton
April 30, 2012
Chen Guangcheng escapes house arrest, Missouri wants to outlaw sexuality dialogue in schools, companies offer "concealed carry" clothing, and Diane Keaton promotes her memoir.
8x95 - Carne Ross
May 1, 2012
Barack Obama makes an Osama bin Laden ad, Paul Ryan plans cuts to poor people, Rev. Thomas Reese contests Paul Ryan's budget, and Carne Ross recommends leaderless democracy.
8x96 - Jonathan Haidt
May 2, 2012
Designers craft a Richard Branson ice mold, debt collectors infiltrate hospitals, Germany censures Kermit the Frog, and Jonathan Haidt discusses conflict and politics.
8x97 - Lena Dunham
May 3, 2012
Newt Gingrich suspends his campaign and backs Mitt Romney, Stephen tracks a Super PAC rival, Buzz Aldrin presents a space award, and writer Lena Dunham talks "Girls."
8x98 - Andy Cohen
May 7, 2012
L.A. teens drink Purell, Joe Biden supports same-sex marriage, Eric McCormack plays a straight man, bears hijack broadcasting, and TV host Andy Cohen talks entertainment.
8x99 - Michelle Alexander
May 8, 2012
Billionaires need donor anonymity, Claire McCaskill opposes secret money, Stephen honors the late Maurice Sendak, and Michelle Alexander examines racial inequality.
8x100 - Anna Wintour
May 9, 2012
An ex-Playmate jolts Mexico's debate, North Carolina snubs gay marriage as Barack Obama backs it, Jon McNaughton paints socialist America, and Anna Wintour talks fashion.
8x101 - Dr. Francis Collins
May 10, 2012
Stephen salutes Mother's Day, Barack Obama rejects Jesus, gay strokes and monkeys threaten America, Republicans forge identities, and Francis Collins examines obesit
8x102 - Charlize Theron
May 29, 2012
Donald Trump makes a contentious claim, Egypt kicks off its presidential elections, and Charlize Theron discusses her film "Snow White and the Huntsman."
8x103 - Alan Alda
May 30, 2012
A Mexican cartel burns down PepsiCo, gay bars target bachelorettes, Mitt Romney breaks into iPhone apps, Robert Mugabe heads global tourism, and Alan Alda talks science.
8x104 - Jack Hitt
May 31, 2012
"I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)" gains Best Seller status, the Obama administration redefines "combatants," Michael Bloomberg confronts soda, and Jack Hitt talks amateurism.
8x105 - John Lewis
June 4, 2012
America's leaders talk like teens, North Carolina bans climate change models, Represent-O-Map 6000 fuels BKAD bookings, and John Lewis describes the civil rights movement.
8x106 - Jill Biden
June 5, 2012
The CDC denies the zombie apocalypse, America exports the most sperm, a North Dakota woman marries herself, and Dr. Jill Biden reflects on teaching and troops.
8x107 - Neil Patrick Harris
June 6, 2012
The private sector plans Mars reality TV, Scott Walker prevails in Wisconsin, an Arkansas town bans bingo, Neil Patrick Harris talks theater, and Stephen honors Ray Bradbury.
8x108 - Regina Spektor
June 7, 2012
Pakistan's "Sesame Street" faces corruption, Mitt Romney's house meets critique, a pig divides America, and singer Regina Spektor talks about music and Russia.
8x109 - Martin Sheen
June 11, 2012
Neil deGrasse Tyson wrecks movies, the Church scorns a nun's sex book, Simone Campbell explores service, the Banana Bunker prevents bruising, and Martin Sheen talks acting.
8x110 - Will Allen
June 12, 2012
Mitt Romney owns a competition horse, the U.S. leaks anti-terror info, Barack Obama blunders, Stephen seeks Sweden's Twitter, and Will Allen talks urban farms.
8x111 - Greg Allman
June 13, 2012
Niagara Falls welcomes a stuntman, cafeteria workers demand expired food, orangutans operate iPads, and Gregg Allman recalls his rock 'n' roll past.
8x112 - Steve Coll
June 14, 2012
Marijuana legalization can win elections, Super PACs raise more money than ad space, Xiaflex treatment corrects curved penises, and Steve Coll examines ExxonMobil.
8x113 - Paul Krugman
June 18, 2012
Barack Obama changes immigration policy, Neil Munro interrupts the president, Sweden confronts Stephen's Twitter-control crusade, and Paul Krugman talks economic strategy.
8x114 - Olivia Wilde
June 19, 2012
John Kerry plays Mitt Romney in practice debates, Stephen invents a dressage tradition, PooPrints tracks suburban dog waste, and Olivia Wilde talks Maxim and politics.
8x115 - Daniel Klaidman
June 20, 2012
Asians outnumber Mexican immigrants, the "Fast and Furious" scandal proves complex, a gun control ad causes controversy, and Daniel Klaidman examines the war on terror.
8x116 - Lawrence Krauss
June 21, 2012
Officials delay Egypt's presidential election, penguins engage in erotic sex, Stephen sings to Sweden's Twitter executives, and Lawrence Krauss discusses the universe.
8x117 - Frank Deford
June 25, 2012
The Supreme Court postpones Obamacare rulings, Mitt Romney asks Florida to limit good jobs news, teens abuse drugs to study better, and Frank Deford explores sports writing.
8x118 - Richard Ford
June 26, 2012
Arizona pursues state immigration laws, Pixar flaunts its gay agenda, Dish Network's AutoHop removes all TV ads, and writer Richard Ford talks about his novel "Canada."
8x119 - Melinda Gates
June 27, 2012
Democrats lack money for the national convention, Mike Turzai sparks Voter ID controversy, Oreo cookies come out of the closet, and Melinda Gates explores family planning.
8x120 - Aaron Sorkin
June 28, 2012
Obamacare passes as constitutional, Republicans slam John Roberts, Emily Bazelon explains the Obamacare tax, and Aaron Sorkin romanticizes TV journalism in "The Newsroom."
8x121 - Anne-Marie Slaughter
July 16, 2012
Katie Holmes divorces Tom Cruise, Mitt Romney retroactively retires from Bain Capital, Starbucks hits funeral homes, and Anne-Marie Slaughter talks career choice and family.
8x122 - Nas
July 17, 2012
Nevada's presidential ballot threatens Mitt Romney, Texas Republicans reject critical thinking education, the Rosenbach Museum honors Stephen, and Nas talks hip-hop.
8x123 - Mayor Annise D. Parker
July 18, 2012
Mitt Romney spotlights struggling waiters, tablet computers go Christian, Def Leppard covers its songs, and Houston Mayor Annise Parker talks business and gay marriage.
8x124 - Lisa Jackson
July 19, 2012
Police bust Fred Willard for lewd conduct, Dave Leonhardt explores the Libor scandal, Canadians out-earn Americans, and Lisa Jackson talks green standards.
8x125 - Vikram Gandhi
July 23, 2012
Mike Tyson bails on The Report, liberal shills love Shepard Smith, pundits speculate about James Holmes' political ties, and filmmaker Vikram Gandhi explores made-up philosophy.
8x126 - James Fallows
July 24, 2012
Late night television causes depression, America faces a disastrous drought, NASA schedules vegan meals, and James Fallows explores China's aerospace business.
8x127 - Dan Gross
July 25, 2012
Mitt Romney values his Anglo-Saxon heritage, Barack Obama discusses entrepreneurship, "Fifty Shades of Grey" reaches hotels, and Dan Gross shares his gun control campaign.
8x128 - Peter Westmacott
July 26, 2012
Engineers enhance Olympic sounds, Mitt Romney offends England, Chick-Fil-A opposes gay marriage, and Peter Westmacott discusses the summer Olympic games.
8x129 - Joan Rivers
July 30, 2012
Danny Boyle directs the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony, Mitt Romney lacks dressage expertise, Tony Robbins' fire stunt burns participants, and Joan Rivers shares her memoir.
8x130 - Jeff Koons
July 31, 2012
Mitt Romney's press secretary lashes out, Rafalca delays Mitt's VP announcement, Colbert Nation plans for StePhest Colbchella '012, and Jeff Koons explores arts education.
8x131 - John Grunsfeld
August 1, 2012
Obamacare mandates birth control coverage, Democrats pass a Democratic tax bill, U.S.women's gymnastics wins Olympic gold, and John Grunsfeld shares NASA's plan for Mars.
8x132 - Chris Hayes
August 2, 2012
Rafalca finishes one round of Olympic dressage, Russ Carnahan touts Missouri's redistricted district, plants talk to each other, and Chris Hayes describesbe U.S. elitism.
8x133 - Pete Seeger
August 6, 2012
NASA's Curiosity rover reaches Mars, Mike Huckabee's "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day" boosts sales, and activist Pete Seeger discusses his music career and upbringing.
8x134 - Mark Shriver
August 7, 2012
Alisyn Camerota criticizes U.S. patriotism, Wikipedia writers sway elections, Steve King defends dogfighting, and Mark Shriver highlights his father's civic influence.
8x135 - Liza Mundy
August 8, 2012
Obamacare increases Papa John's pizza rates, digital pills hold seniors accountable, General Mills backs same-sex marriage, and Liza Mundy examines women in the workforce.
8x136 - Woody Harrelson
August 9, 2012
Michele Bachmann dabbles in McCarthyism, Representative Keith Ellison turns down Mitt Romney, scientists analyze truthiness, and Woody Harrelson talks theater.
8x137 - fun.
August 13, 2012
StePhest Colbchella '012 gets underway, Mitt Romney picks Paul Ryan as his running mate, and fun. reviews their history and hygiene.
8x138 - Grizzly Bear
August 14, 2012
Colbchella '012 launches into night two, Mitt Romney's foreign experience comes into question, celebrities simulate soldiers, and Grizzly Bear describes their indie style.
8x139 - Santigold
August 15, 2012
StePhest Colbchella '012 embarks on night three, U.S. gymnastics' Fierce Five stops by The Report, Stephen visits the USS Intrepid, and Santigold discusses her music.
8x140 - The Flaming Lips
August 16, 2012
Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan connect over policy, GOP Senate candidates challenge the 17th Amendment, and The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne shares his latest album.
8x141 - Andrew Sullivan
August 28, 2012
Hurricane Isaac hits the 2012 GOP convention, Stephen hosts Colbert Super PAC's Convention, Rep. Todd Akin blunders on rape pregnancy, and Andrew Sullivan talks U.S. politics.
8x142 - Jennifer Burns
August 29, 2012
The "Mitt Romney story" storms the GOP convention, Ann Romney tries to reach women voters, Paul Ryan breaks from Ayn Rand, and Jennifer Burns explores Ayn Rand's objectivism.
8x143 - Jon Huntsman
August 30, 2012
Mitt Romney struggles to attract African American voters, Paul Ryan lies in his GOP convention speech, and Jon Huntsman examines campaign finance and the Republican Party.
8x144 - James Carville
August 31, 2012
Mitt Romney wraps up the GOP convention, Clint Eastwood's empty chair joins Stephen, Neil Armstrong passes away, and James Carville talks about the middle class.
8x145 - Reihan Salam
September 4, 2012
The DNC convention begins, Congresswoman Yvette Clarke praises Brooklyn's diversity, Paul Ryan lies about marathon times, and Reihan Salam explores election politics.
8x146 - Michael Grunwald
September 5, 2012
Brit Hume critiques the DNC convention noise level, Michelle Obama rakes in record tweet numbers during her speech, and Michael Grunwald explores the Recovery Act.
8x147 - Bill Richardson
September 6, 2012
Storms disrupt the Democratic National Convention, Bill Clinton delivers a charming speech, Democrats reinstate "God" language, and Bill Richardson talks Hispanic outreach.
8x148 - Ed Rendell
September 7, 2012
A catchy message indulges young voters, Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination, Stephen analyzes both conventions, and Ed Rendell examines government leadership.
8x149 - Drew Faust
September 17, 2012
Rick Santorum errs at a conservative summit, Mitt Romney misconstrues Obama's handling of Libya, Ira Glass calls the Atone Phone, and Drew Faust reviews Civil War history.
8x150 - Jeffrey Toobin
September 18, 2012
USA Today redesigns its logo, Mitt Romney responds to secret fundraiser footage, Apple wins a patent lawsuit, and Jeffrey Toobin details Supreme Court cases.
8x151 - Itzhak Perlman
September 19, 2012
Fox News slams Barack Obama's secret video, Mitt Romney explains what he won't do in office, a papyrus scrap mentions Jesus' wife, and violinist Itzhak Perlman performs live.
8x152 - Errol Morris
September 20, 2012
Vladimir Putin glides with cranes, Mitt Romney tries to sway Hispanics, an amateur painter botches Jesus, and Errol Morris talks Jeffrey MacDonald and filmmaking.
8x153 - Claressa Shields
September 25, 2012
Barack Obama leads Mitt Romney in the polls, Peggy Noonan gives Mitt advice, the NFL lockout bumps up ratings, and boxer Claressa Shields describes a satisfying punch.

The Colbert Report: All seasons

S0: Specials
10 Episode s
S1: Season 1
32 Episode s
S2: Season 2
161 Episode s
S3: Season 3
138 Episode s
S4: Season 4
160 Episode s
S5: Season 5
161 Episode s
S6: Season 6
161 Episode s
S7: Season 7
124 Episode s
S8: Season 8
155 Episode s
S9: Season 9
155 Episode s
S10: Season 10
160 Episode s
S11: Season 11
40 Episode s

8x53 - Björk

8x54 - Ameena Matthews

8x55 - Christiane Amanpour

8x56 - Bill McKibben

8x57 - William J. Broad

8x58 - Ann Patchett

8x59 - Robert Kagan

8x60 - Nancy Pelosi

8x61 - Placido Domingo

8x62 - Peggielene Bartels

8x63 - Ross Eisenbrey

8x64 - William Shatner

8x65 - Claire Danes

8x66 - Audra McDonald

8x67 - Jonathan Safran Foer

8x68 - Willem Dafoe

8x69 - Don Fleming, Elvis Costello, & Emmylou Harris

8x70 - Katherine Boo

8x71 - Andrew Bird

8x72 - Mark McKinnon

8x73 - Dexter Filkins

8x74 - David Page

8x75 - Charles Murray

8x76 - Mark Ruffalo

8x77 - Peter Beinart

8x78 - Gary Johnson

8x79 - Nikki Haley

8x80 - Robert Ballard

8x81 - Anne Rice

8x82 - Bob Lutz

8x83 - Richard Hersh

8x84 - Michelle Obama

8x85 - James Cameron

8x86 - Bonnie Raitt

8x87 - Jonah Lehrer

8x88 - Arianna Huffington

8x89 - Tavis Smiley & Cornel West

8x90 - Don McLeroy

8x91 - Magnus Carlsen

8x92 - Michael Sandel

8x93 - Jack White

8x94 - Diane Keaton

8x95 - Carne Ross

8x96 - Jonathan Haidt

8x97 - Lena Dunham

8x98 - Andy Cohen

8x99 - Michelle Alexander

8x100 - Anna Wintour

8x101 - Dr. Francis Collins

8x102 - Charlize Theron

8x103 - Alan Alda

8x104 - Jack Hitt

8x105 - John Lewis

8x106 - Jill Biden

8x107 - Neil Patrick Harris

8x108 - Regina Spektor

8x109 - Martin Sheen

8x110 - Will Allen

8x111 - Greg Allman

8x112 - Steve Coll

8x113 - Paul Krugman

8x114 - Olivia Wilde

8x115 - Daniel Klaidman

8x116 - Lawrence Krauss

8x117 - Frank Deford

8x118 - Richard Ford

8x119 - Melinda Gates

8x120 - Aaron Sorkin

8x121 - Anne-Marie Slaughter

8x122 - Nas

8x123 - Mayor Annise D. Parker

8x124 - Lisa Jackson

8x125 - Vikram Gandhi

8x126 - James Fallows

8x127 - Dan Gross

8x128 - Peter Westmacott

8x129 - Joan Rivers

8x130 - Jeff Koons

8x131 - John Grunsfeld

8x132 - Chris Hayes