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Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.
The Dick Van Dyke Show - S5 - E26
The staff sends a script to Alan Brady without deleting the insults directed at the star that they routinely add to blow off steam.
The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 5 - 32 Episode s
5x1 - Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth
September 15, 1965
A talk show host gets Laura to tell a TV audience that Alan Brady is bald!
5x2 - A Farewell to Writing
September 22, 1965
Rob tries to write a novel, but finds that writing comedy is easier.
5x3 - Uhny Uftz
September 29, 1965
Rob and Buddy are working late, and keep thinking they hear a metallic voice saying ""Uhny Uftz""! The explore a supposedly abandoned office somewhere in the building, and find a somewhat 'mad' inventor (complete with a taciturn and vaguely menacing assistant) who has constructed a toy flying saucer. It works quite well, except that, instead of saying ""Merry Christmas"" as the inventor intended, the saucer only says ""Uhny Uftz"".
5x4 - The Ugliest Dog in the World
October 6, 1965
Rob tries to write a part for a dog who is going to be on The Alan Brady Show. After the dog's part is cut from the show Rob tries to find a home for the dog, But nobody wants the dog.
5x5 - No Rice at My Wedding
October 13, 1965
Rob recalls a time when Laura was the prize of a raffle. Rob does everything he can to keep Clark Rice from marrying Laura.
5x6 - Draw Me a Pear
October 20, 1965
Laura talks Rob into going to her art class unaware that Valerie falls in love with Rob.
5x7 - The Great Petrie Fortune
October 27, 1965
After Rob and Laura finish watching a movie Uncle Hezekiah gives Rob and Laura clue as to what the fortune might be.
5x8 - Odd But True
November 3, 1965
Ritchie finds out the freckles on Rob's back form the shape of the Liberty Bell. Millie wants to send a pictrue to Odd But True. (a nwespaper column)
5x9 - Viva Petrie
November 10, 1965
Maria (the Petrie's maid) tells Manuel Luis Rodriguez to go to the Petrie's because Maria feels that Rob can find him a job, but the only Manuel can do is be a bullfighter.
5x10 - Go Tell the Birds and Bees
November 17, 1965
Alberta Nelson shines in a small part as Miss Reshovsky, the concerned elementary schoolteacher of note. Rob and Laurie Petrie are also asked to the principal's office to discuss their son.
5x11 - Body and Sol
November 24, 1965
Rob tells Buddy and Sally of the time he became the middle weight champion of his Army Camp.
5x12 - See Rob Write, Write Rob, Write
December 8, 1965
After going to the Butcher's Shop to get something for dinner, Laura sees pictures (drawn By Charlie Wheelright) Laura wants to write a story to help sell Charlie's pictures. Rob doesn't like the idea because he always finshes her stories.
5x13 - You're Under Arrest
December 15, 1965
After fighting with Laura, Rob is arrested for hurting an old Lady. Rob has trouble telling police he didn't hurt the Lady (whom he saw in a barroom).
5x14 - Fifty-Two, Forty-Five or Work
December 29, 1965
The Alan Brady Show is on hiatus Rob is worried about to support Laura (who is pregnant with Ritchie) Rob doesn't anyone to know he needs a job until The Alan Brady Show returns from hiatus.
5x15 - Who Stole My Watch?
January 5, 1966
After Rob loses his watch that he got as birthday gift, He thinks everyone he knows took his watch. Laura and Rob plan a party to say they are sorry after they learn a crook stole Rob's watch.
5x16 - I Do Not Choose to Run
January 19, 1966
Rob gives a speech at council meeting that will land him a nomination for city councilman of New Rochelle.
5x17 - The Making of a Councilman
January 26, 1966
Rob decides to quit running for his seat on the New Rochelle city council after meeting the opponent running against him because of his experience.
5x18 - The Curse of the Petrie People
February 2, 1966
Laura gets a brooch that (in the shape of the United States) tells the history of the Petrie family. Laura later puts the brooch in the garbage! We learn that Rob's mom hates the brooch!
5x19 - The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart
February 9, 1966
Mel is in trouble for not telling Alan that there was a change in the script. Rob tries to get Mel to stick up for himself, But Mel gets fired.
5x20 - Remember the Alimony
February 16, 1966
Rob and Laura leave Anchor Texas to go to Mexico only to find that marriage is hard to do. They soon find out that getting a divorce is easier than they thought (it costs in Mexico!)
5x21 - Dear Sally Rogers
February 23, 1966
Sally really wants a husband she goes on ""The Stevie Parsons Show"" thinking she has finally found a husband or has she? Stevie asks Rob to help in a stunt where Stevie picks a letter written to Sally, One problem Sally has no idea what will happen! Wait until Sally finds out who Box 7030 is!
5x22 - Buddy Sorrell, Man and Boy
March 2, 1966
Rob & Sally think Buddy is having an affair but he is getting ready for his bar mitzvah.
5x23 - Bad Reception in Albany
March 9, 1966
Rob and Laura are attending a wedding in Albany, Rob is asked by Alan to watch a fashion show. He promises to tell Alan what he thought of it. Rob has to hurry to the church to usher a wedding.
5x24 - Talk to the Snail
March 23, 1966
Rob fears his job is gone after reading a memo (found in the trash where they are looking for this week's script that Buddy lost) Rob almost writes for Jelly Bean a snail!
5x25 - A Day in the Life of Alan Brady
April 6, 1966
Jerry & Millie are having their anniversary party, at the Petrie home one problem the party is a part of documentary that focuses on Alan.
5x26 - Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.
April 13, 1966
The staff sends a script to Alan Brady without deleting the insults directed at the star that they routinely add to blow off steam.
5x27 - The Man from My Uncle
April 20, 1966
Ritchie's bedroom is used as a stakeout point (it has the best view) Harry Bond is looking for the nephew of Wendell Gerard, Rob loves the gadgets the agent brings to solve the case.
5x28 - You Ought to Be in Pictures
April 27, 1966
Rob gets a movie role, but he has to kiss a woman. Laura makes sure that nothing else happens.
5x29 - Love Thy Other Neighbor
May 4, 1966
Laura and Rob spend time with the Staggs and going to the theater,Jerry & Millie feel left out.
5x30 - Long Night's Journey into Day
May 11, 1966
Rob & Jerry go fishing leaving Laura (who has a cold) home alone with a mynah bird. Millie comes back to keep Laura company, Millie couldn't find Laura (She was taking a shower).
5x31 - The Gunslinger
May 25, 1966
Under anesthesia for a dental procedure, Rob dreams he is a sheriff in the old west.
5x32 - The Last Chapter
June 1, 1966
Rob gives Laura his book (it took 5 years to write.) As Laura begins to read the book, we see classic moments from several episodes. The book takes us through how Rob and Laura met as well as how Rob almost missed his wedding! Later Rob talks about waiting for the birth Ritchie. As Laura finishes the book Rob tells her the publisher hated the book, Alan Brady decides to make the book into a TV series!