Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

October 3, 2005

72.0%

Two and a Half Men - S3 - E3

Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

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Two and a Half Men: Season 3 - 24 Episode s

3x1 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
September 19, 2005
After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
3x2 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
September 26, 2005
Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
3x3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
October 3, 2005
Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
3x4 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
October 10, 2005
Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
3x5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky
October 17, 2005
Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
3x6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
October 24, 2005
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
3x7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
November 7, 2005
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
3x8 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
November 14, 2005
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
3x9 - Madame and Her Special Friend
November 21, 2005
One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
3x10 - Something Salted and Twisted
November 28, 2005
Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
3x11 - Santa's Village of the Damned
December 19, 2005
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
3x12 - That Special Tug
January 9, 2006
Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
3x13 - Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
January 23, 2006
Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.
3x14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
February 6, 2006
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
3x15 - My Tongue is Meat
February 27, 2006
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
3x16 - Ergo, the Booty Call
March 6, 2006
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
3x17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
March 13, 2006
Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
3x18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
March 20, 2006
Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
3x19 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
April 10, 2006
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
3x20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
April 24, 2006
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
3x21 - And the Plot Moistens
May 1, 2006
Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
3x22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie
May 8, 2006
A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
3x23 - Arguments for the Quickie
May 15, 2006
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
3x24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
May 22, 2006
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

3x1 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

3x2 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

3x3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

3x4 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

3x5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky

3x6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One

3x7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

3x8 - That Voodoo That I Do Do

3x9 - Madame and Her Special Friend

3x10 - Something Salted and Twisted

3x11 - Santa's Village of the Damned

3x12 - That Special Tug

3x13 - Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

3x14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

3x15 - My Tongue is Meat

3x16 - Ergo, the Booty Call

3x17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

3x18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler

3x19 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

3x20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

3x21 - And the Plot Moistens

3x22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie

3x23 - Arguments for the Quickie

3x24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

S0: Specials

S1: Season 1

S2: Season 2

S3: Season 3

S4: Season 4

S5: Season 5

S6: Season 6

S7: Season 7

S8: Season 8

S9: Season 9

S10: Season 10

S11: Season 11

S12: Season 12