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Television
You Can't Do That on Television - S3 - E9
You Can't Do That on Television cannot be seen at this time because…we couldn't do it. In its place, we present a show about television. Christine explains what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Along the way she gets every possible kind of slime dumped on her (and Vanessa).
You Can't Do That on Television: Season 3 - 13 Episode s
3x1 - Cosmetics
March 17, 1982
The Incredible Hulk Runs out of Deodorant will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine brings in a box of cosmetics and explains the use of each one. She offers advise about the dangers of using corn chip flavored lipstick.
3x2 - Addictions
March 24, 1982
Pacman Eats General Hospital will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine plays ATARI for the entire show, thus demonstrating how video games are addictive. In the sketches, many references are made to the soap General Hospital, and how addictive that is.
3x3 - Popularity
March 31, 1982
The Most Popular Kids Show on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present… Ross holds a ""phone-in"" contest to see which cast member is the most popular. All the kids wear numbers so that viewers can clarify their voting. At the halfway point, Kevin (wearing 111) is first. In an attempt to get more votes, Christine trades her ballot number (872) for a lower number (0). In the end, Zilch (Darryl) wins the contest even though he wasn't in this episode. They discover he won because Christine wore his number zero.
3x4 - Fads & Fashion
April 7, 1982
Fred Sanford: World's Best Dressed Man will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast attempts to keep up with the latest fashions, which change about every two minutes.
3x5 - Vacations
April 14, 1982
The Love Boat Runs Aground Fantasy Island will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine goes on a trip to the beach to relax, only to run into the entire cast and crew of YCDTOTV, who are filming an episode.
3x6 - Rip-Offs
April 21, 1982
The Price is Right Raises their Prices will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Things around the set begin to malfunction. The risers collapse and the set begins to collapse. In the end, the entire studio collapses.
3x7 - Bullying
May 5, 1982
Mr. Rogers Bullies the Neighborhood will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine takes a self-defense class in order to protect herself from bullying from the other cast members.
3x8 - Culture Junk
May 12, 1982
Big Bird Dances Swan Lake will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast examines plays, literature, music, art, and theater. Christine is introduced to ""water music"".
3x9 - Television
July 7, 1982
You Can't Do That on Television cannot be seen at this time because…we couldn't do it. In its place, we present a show about television. Christine explains what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Along the way she gets every possible kind of slime dumped on her (and Vanessa).
3x10 - Sports
July 14, 1982
Howard Cosell Loses His Voice will not be seen because…nobody could be that lucky. Christine and Lisa host the show like sports commentators. Throughout the program, Christine tries a really bad Howard Cosell accent.
3x11 - Heroes
July 21, 1982
Conan the Librarian will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast takes a look at their favorite super-heroes. Lisa attempts to be Wonder Woman, but isn't very effective.
3x12 - The Not-So-Fair Show
July 28, 1982
Real People will not be seen at this time because we couldn't find any. In its place, we present the following unfair program. The cast complains about everything that is unfair with the world in 1982. To add insult to injury, the Unfairy Godmother stops by.
3x13 - Growing Up
August 4, 1982
My Three Sons of Frankenstein will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine tells us about all of her greatest fears. In the sketches, the cast talks about the pros and cons of getting older.