7x1 - Kevin James, Sheryl Crow

September 7, 1999

Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.

7x2 - Ricki Lake, Kid Rock

September 8, 1999

Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.

7x3 - Craig Kilborn, Louise Smith, The Umbilical Brothers

September 9, 1999

Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.

7x4 - Queen Latifah, John Popper

September 10, 1999

John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.

7x5 - John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith

September 13, 1999

George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).

7x6 - Kid Scientists, Edie Falco, Dixie Chicks

September 14, 1999

Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.

7x7 - John Leguizamo, Meat Loaf

September 15, 1999

Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes ""Crazy in Alabama.""

7x8 - Jenna Elfman, Chris Kattan, Christine Aguilera

September 16, 1999

With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for ""talk show closings"" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hijacks Anton's drumset, and Christina Aguilera performs ""What a Girl Wants.""

7x9 - Heather Locklear, Keyshawn Johnson

September 17, 1999

During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.

7x10 - Michael J. Fox, Heather French

September 20, 1999

Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.

7x11 - Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald

September 21, 1999

Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes ""Bicentennial Man.""

7x13 - Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler, Roger Ebert

September 23, 1999

Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened ""Late Show 2000,"" while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.

7x14 - Kelly Preston, Stirling Moss, Sugar Ray

September 24, 1999

During CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin comments on body piercing, while Dave ""appears"" in a Gap commercial.

7x15 - Kevin Pollak, Tom Waits

September 27, 1999

Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.

7x16 - Nathan Lane, Emmylou Harris & Linda Rondstadt

September 28, 1999

Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play ""Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for ,000,000?"" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called ""For the Ladies"" (which turns out to be weightlifting porn flick).

7x17 - Mia Farrow, Russell Crowe, Paula Cole Band

September 29, 1999

Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in ""New for Fall,"" Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical ""Basanta Gan Gaibay""; Evander Holyfield presents the Top Ten, but Lennox Lewis interupts to introduce #1.

7x18 - Kevin Spacey, Eurythmics

September 30, 1999

Kevin Spacey promotes ""American Beauty,"" then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"": He walks into a mysterious closet backstage, falls into a black hole, then walks out in a nonchalant fashion.

7x19 - Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Gayheart

October 1, 1999

Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.

7x20 - Harrison Ford, David Bowie

October 4, 1999

""Biff Henderson's America"" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs ""Thursday's Child.""

7x21 - Dan Quayle, Melissa Ethridge

October 5, 1999

Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for ""Late Show on Tour,"" with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer make any more jokes relating to Dan Quayle.

7x22 - Lili Tomlin, Leah Remini, Beth Hart

October 6, 1999

Tonight's edition of ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.

7x23 - Jesse Ventura, Amy Brennamen, ZZ Top

October 7, 1999

A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.

7x24 - Jack Hanna, Peter Fonda, Sting

October 8, 1999

1999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents ""Great Pats throughout History."" Later, Sting performs ""Brand New Day.""

7x25 - Bruce Willis, Will Ferrell

October 11, 1999

Carole King sits in with Paul, then sings a duet with Bruce Willis.

7x26 - Chazz Palminteri, Billy Blanks, Wilson Pickett

October 12, 1999

Joe G. joins Mujibur and Sirajul to play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" Later, Billy Blanks does a Tae-bo demonstration.

7x27 - Farrah Fawcett

October 13, 1999

The outside cam presents Paul Fiore's driver's test in New Jersey, with commentary by Biff and pictures from the WCBS-TV helicopter. When he finishes the test, a babe presents him flowers and Gov. Christine Todd Whitman presents Paul's license.

7x28 - John Malkovich, Harland Williams

October 14, 1999

Warren Zevon fills in for Paul yet again; Dave wants to say the s-word ""because they did on ‘Chicago Hope,'"" tries it, and gets beeped; Biff gives Yankees tickets to an audience member.

7x29 - Austin Payne, Patricia Arquette, Moby

October 15, 1999

During CBS Mailbag, Alan Kalter promotes his Millenium Party, which looks like a disaster in the making. Later, Dave presents ""Top Ten Things That Sound Creepy When Said by John Malkovich.""

7x30 - Charles Grodin, Jimmie Walker, Buena Vista Social Club

October 25, 1999

Paul and Dave talk about the band's weekend gig at the White House; for his latest World Series report, Biff interviews, amongst others, Evander Holyfield and John Rocker; the octogenarian stars of the hit documentary ""The Buena Vista Social Club"" perform.

7x31 - John Cusack, Bob Sarlatte, LeAnn Rimes

October 26, 1999

Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.

7x32 - Martha Stewart, Martin Scorcese, Ricky Martin

October 27, 1999

Martha Stewart makes Halloween treats; Jets QB Vinny Testaverde helps with the annual ""Halloween Costumes"" segment.

7x33 - Joe Torre, Denzel Washington

October 28, 1999

Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs ""The Bone Collector.""

7x34 - Meryl Streep, Natalie Merchant

October 29, 1999

Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bumped the other night; Mike McIntee and Bill DeLace guard the world's largest pumpkin (1131 pounds).

7x35 - Luke Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Garbage

November 1, 1999

Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those ""Taco Bell"" commercials.

7x36 - Lauren Holly, Jimmy Fallon, Rage Against the Machine

November 2, 1999

Dave says hello to all the folks in King's Height Rest Home in New York; Rage Against the Machine performs ""War Within a Breath"" on the roof in pouring rain.

7x37 - Bill Cosby, Milla Jovovich

November 3, 1999

14-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Sirajul play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" at the trendy Ranch 1 restuarant, Biff brings in fried chicken, an item that they claimed they didn't have.

7x38 - Susan Sarandon, Juan Montoya, East Harlem Violinists

November 4, 1999

A cannon called the Alludium 2000 Pumpkin Modulator, along with its operator Max Teasdale, wait to launch a giant pumpkin into orbit on 53rd Street. Also, Roberta Glasspari and The East Harlem Violinists (subjects of the film ""Music of the Heart"") perform with soloist Mark O'Connor.

7x39 - Regis Philbin, Mitch Hedberg

November 5, 1999

Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.

7x40 - Woody Harrelson, Bobby Rahal

November 8, 1999

NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald ran in the same marathon; Kenny Sheehan performs in the Broadway revival of ""Annie.""

7x41 - Don Rickles, Jane Clayson

November 9, 1999

Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in the Mojave Desert; Boots Randolph sits in on sax; Jane Clayson plugs ""The Early Show.""

7x42 - Jack Hanna, Bob Hoskins, Melanie C

November 10, 1999

Dave announces the premiere of ""Good Old-Fashioned Fun,"" which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box derby. Later, former Spice Girl Melanie C sings ""I Turn To You.""

7x43 - Natalie Portman, Travis Pastrana, Ted Alexandro

November 11, 1999

Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls are helping Travis repair his bike.

7x44 - Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp

November 12, 1999

Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.

7x45 - Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell

November 15, 1999

Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.

7x46 - Will Smith, Creed

November 16, 1999

Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of ""Gazebo Weekly.""

7x47 - Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth

November 17, 1999

During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.

7x48 - Evander Holyfield, Ted Danson, Counting Crows

November 18, 1999

Ted Danson plugs ""Becker,"" while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.

7x49 - Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt

November 19, 1999

Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.

7x50 - Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett

November 22, 1999

Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""

7x51 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church

November 23, 1999

Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.

7x52 - Julianna Margulies, Eric Ripert, Third Eye Blind

November 24, 1999

""Biff Henderson's America"" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.

7x53 - George Carlin, Jewel

November 25, 1999

Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.

7x54 - Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin

November 26, 1999

A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.

7x55 - Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige

November 29, 1999

During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.

7x56 - Jenny McCarthy, Martha Stewart, Foo Fighters

November 30, 1999

Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own ""E! True Hollywood Story""; Jenny McCarthy plugs ""Scream 3.""

7x57 - Tim Robbins, Laetitia Casta, B.B. King & Dr. John

December 1, 1999

Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives another gazebo from Dave; Tim Robbins gets clobbered playing ice hockey.

7x58 - Patrick Stewart, Al Franken, Bob Marley

December 2, 1999

For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play ""Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap.""

7x59 - Geena Davis, Bill Murray, Fiona Apple

December 3, 1999

7x60 - Courtney Love, Tori Murden, R.E.M.

December 13, 1999

7x61 - Gwyneth Paltrow, Blondie

December 14, 1999

7x62 - Danny DeVito, Harry Smith

December 15, 1999

Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.