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TV Shows
Late Show with David Letterman
Season 7
Episode 5

John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith

September 13, 1999

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Late Show with David Letterman - S7 - E5

George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).

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Late Show with David Letterman: Season 7 - 55 Episode s

7x1 - Kevin James, Sheryl Crow
September 7, 1999
Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.
7x2 - Ricki Lake, Kid Rock
September 8, 1999
Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.
7x3 - Craig Kilborn, Louise Smith, The Umbilical Brothers
September 9, 1999
Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.
7x4 - Queen Latifah, John Popper
September 10, 1999
John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.
7x5 - John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith
September 13, 1999
George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).
7x6 - Kid Scientists, Edie Falco, Dixie Chicks
September 14, 1999
Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.
7x7 - John Leguizamo, Meat Loaf
September 15, 1999
Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes ""Crazy in Alabama.""
7x8 - Jenna Elfman, Chris Kattan, Christine Aguilera
September 16, 1999
With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for ""talk show closings"" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hijacks Anton's drumset, and Christina Aguilera performs ""What a Girl Wants.""
7x9 - Heather Locklear, Keyshawn Johnson
September 17, 1999
During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.
7x10 - Michael J. Fox, Heather French
September 20, 1999
Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.
7x11 - Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald
September 21, 1999
Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes ""Bicentennial Man.""
7x12 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Ashley Judd, Randy Travis
September 22, 1999
Alan, Regis, Bill Delace, and Mike McIntee portray members of the audience during ""Who Asked For It?""; Ashley Judd promotes ""Double Jeopardy.""
7x13 - Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler, Roger Ebert
September 23, 1999
Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened ""Late Show 2000,"" while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.
7x14 - Kelly Preston, Stirling Moss, Sugar Ray
September 24, 1999
During CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin comments on body piercing, while Dave ""appears"" in a Gap commercial.
7x15 - Kevin Pollak, Tom Waits
September 27, 1999
Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.
7x16 - Nathan Lane, Emmylou Harris & Linda Rondstadt
September 28, 1999
Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play ""Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for ,000,000?"" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called ""For the Ladies"" (which turns out to be weightlifting porn flick).
7x17 - Mia Farrow, Russell Crowe, Paula Cole Band
September 29, 1999
Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in ""New for Fall,"" Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical ""Basanta Gan Gaibay""; Evander Holyfield presents the Top Ten, but Lennox Lewis interupts to introduce #1.
7x18 - Kevin Spacey, Eurythmics
September 30, 1999
Kevin Spacey promotes ""American Beauty,"" then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"": He walks into a mysterious closet backstage, falls into a black hole, then walks out in a nonchalant fashion.
7x19 - Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Gayheart
October 1, 1999
Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.
7x20 - Harrison Ford, David Bowie
October 4, 1999
""Biff Henderson's America"" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs ""Thursday's Child.""
7x21 - Dan Quayle, Melissa Ethridge
October 5, 1999
Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for ""Late Show on Tour,"" with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer make any more jokes relating to Dan Quayle.
7x22 - Lili Tomlin, Leah Remini, Beth Hart
October 6, 1999
Tonight's edition of ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.
7x23 - Jesse Ventura, Amy Brennamen, ZZ Top
October 7, 1999
A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.
7x24 - Jack Hanna, Peter Fonda, Sting
October 8, 1999
1999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents ""Great Pats throughout History."" Later, Sting performs ""Brand New Day.""
7x25 - Bruce Willis, Will Ferrell
October 11, 1999
Carole King sits in with Paul, then sings a duet with Bruce Willis.
7x26 - Chazz Palminteri, Billy Blanks, Wilson Pickett
October 12, 1999
Joe G. joins Mujibur and Sirajul to play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" Later, Billy Blanks does a Tae-bo demonstration.
7x27 - Farrah Fawcett
October 13, 1999
The outside cam presents Paul Fiore's driver's test in New Jersey, with commentary by Biff and pictures from the WCBS-TV helicopter. When he finishes the test, a babe presents him flowers and Gov. Christine Todd Whitman presents Paul's license.
7x28 - John Malkovich, Harland Williams
October 14, 1999
Warren Zevon fills in for Paul yet again; Dave wants to say the s-word ""because they did on â€˜Chicago Hope,'"" tries it, and gets beeped; Biff gives Yankees tickets to an audience member.
7x29 - Austin Payne, Patricia Arquette, Moby
October 15, 1999
During CBS Mailbag, Alan Kalter promotes his Millenium Party, which looks like a disaster in the making. Later, Dave presents ""Top Ten Things That Sound Creepy When Said by John Malkovich.""
7x30 - Charles Grodin, Jimmie Walker, Buena Vista Social Club
October 25, 1999
Paul and Dave talk about the band's weekend gig at the White House; for his latest World Series report, Biff interviews, amongst others, Evander Holyfield and John Rocker; the octogenarian stars of the hit documentary ""The Buena Vista Social Club"" perform.
7x31 - John Cusack, Bob Sarlatte, LeAnn Rimes
October 26, 1999
Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.
7x32 - Martha Stewart, Martin Scorcese, Ricky Martin
October 27, 1999
Martha Stewart makes Halloween treats; Jets QB Vinny Testaverde helps with the annual ""Halloween Costumes"" segment.
7x33 - Joe Torre, Denzel Washington
October 28, 1999
Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs ""The Bone Collector.""
7x34 - Meryl Streep, Natalie Merchant
October 29, 1999
Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bumped the other night; Mike McIntee and Bill DeLace guard the world's largest pumpkin (1131 pounds).
7x35 - Luke Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Garbage
November 1, 1999
Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those ""Taco Bell"" commercials.
7x36 - Lauren Holly, Jimmy Fallon, Rage Against the Machine
November 2, 1999
Dave says hello to all the folks in King's Height Rest Home in New York; Rage Against the Machine performs ""War Within a Breath"" on the roof in pouring rain.
7x37 - Bill Cosby, Milla Jovovich
November 3, 1999
14-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Sirajul play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" at the trendy Ranch 1 restuarant, Biff brings in fried chicken, an item that they claimed they didn't have.
7x38 - Susan Sarandon, Juan Montoya, East Harlem Violinists
November 4, 1999
A cannon called the Alludium 2000 Pumpkin Modulator, along with its operator Max Teasdale, wait to launch a giant pumpkin into orbit on 53rd Street. Also, Roberta Glasspari and The East Harlem Violinists (subjects of the film ""Music of the Heart"") perform with soloist Mark O'Connor.
7x39 - Regis Philbin, Mitch Hedberg
November 5, 1999
Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.
7x40 - Woody Harrelson, Bobby Rahal
November 8, 1999
NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald ran in the same marathon; Kenny Sheehan performs in the Broadway revival of ""Annie.""
7x41 - Don Rickles, Jane Clayson
November 9, 1999
Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in the Mojave Desert; Boots Randolph sits in on sax; Jane Clayson plugs ""The Early Show.""
7x42 - Jack Hanna, Bob Hoskins, Melanie C
November 10, 1999
Dave announces the premiere of ""Good Old-Fashioned Fun,"" which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box derby. Later, former Spice Girl Melanie C sings ""I Turn To You.""
7x43 - Natalie Portman, Travis Pastrana, Ted Alexandro
November 11, 1999
Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls are helping Travis repair his bike.
7x44 - Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp
November 12, 1999
Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.
7x45 - Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell
November 15, 1999
Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.
7x46 - Will Smith, Creed
November 16, 1999
Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of ""Gazebo Weekly.""
7x47 - Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth
November 17, 1999
During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.
7x48 - Evander Holyfield, Ted Danson, Counting Crows
November 18, 1999
Ted Danson plugs ""Becker,"" while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.
7x49 - Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt
November 19, 1999
Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.
7x50 - Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett
November 22, 1999
Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""
7x51 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church
November 23, 1999
Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.
7x52 - Julianna Margulies, Eric Ripert, Third Eye Blind
November 24, 1999
""Biff Henderson's America"" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.
7x53 - George Carlin, Jewel
November 25, 1999
Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.
7x54 - Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin
November 26, 1999
A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.
7x55 - Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige
November 29, 1999
During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.

7x1 - Kevin James, Sheryl Crow

7x2 - Ricki Lake, Kid Rock

7x3 - Craig Kilborn, Louise Smith, The Umbilical Brothers

7x4 - Queen Latifah, John Popper

7x5 - John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith

7x6 - Kid Scientists, Edie Falco, Dixie Chicks

7x7 - John Leguizamo, Meat Loaf

7x8 - Jenna Elfman, Chris Kattan, Christine Aguilera

7x9 - Heather Locklear, Keyshawn Johnson

7x10 - Michael J. Fox, Heather French

7x11 - Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald

7x12 - Stupid Pet Tricks, Ashley Judd, Randy Travis

7x13 - Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler, Roger Ebert

7x14 - Kelly Preston, Stirling Moss, Sugar Ray

7x15 - Kevin Pollak, Tom Waits

7x16 - Nathan Lane, Emmylou Harris & Linda Rondstadt

7x17 - Mia Farrow, Russell Crowe, Paula Cole Band

7x18 - Kevin Spacey, Eurythmics

7x19 - Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Gayheart

7x20 - Harrison Ford, David Bowie

7x21 - Dan Quayle, Melissa Ethridge

7x22 - Lili Tomlin, Leah Remini, Beth Hart

7x23 - Jesse Ventura, Amy Brennamen, ZZ Top

7x24 - Jack Hanna, Peter Fonda, Sting

7x25 - Bruce Willis, Will Ferrell

7x26 - Chazz Palminteri, Billy Blanks, Wilson Pickett

7x27 - Farrah Fawcett

7x28 - John Malkovich, Harland Williams

7x29 - Austin Payne, Patricia Arquette, Moby

7x30 - Charles Grodin, Jimmie Walker, Buena Vista Social Club

7x31 - John Cusack, Bob Sarlatte, LeAnn Rimes

7x32 - Martha Stewart, Martin Scorcese, Ricky Martin

7x33 - Joe Torre, Denzel Washington

7x34 - Meryl Streep, Natalie Merchant

7x35 - Luke Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Garbage

7x36 - Lauren Holly, Jimmy Fallon, Rage Against the Machine

7x37 - Bill Cosby, Milla Jovovich

7x38 - Susan Sarandon, Juan Montoya, East Harlem Violinists

7x39 - Regis Philbin, Mitch Hedberg

7x40 - Woody Harrelson, Bobby Rahal

7x41 - Don Rickles, Jane Clayson

7x42 - Jack Hanna, Bob Hoskins, Melanie C

7x43 - Natalie Portman, Travis Pastrana, Ted Alexandro

7x44 - Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp

7x45 - Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell

7x46 - Will Smith, Creed

7x47 - Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth

7x48 - Evander Holyfield, Ted Danson, Counting Crows

7x49 - Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt

7x50 - Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett

7x51 - Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church

7x52 - Julianna Margulies, Eric Ripert, Third Eye Blind

7x53 - George Carlin, Jewel

7x54 - Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin

7x55 - Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige

S1: Season 1

S2: Season 2

S3: Season 3

S4: Season 4

S5: Season 5

S6: Season 6

S7: Season 7

S8: Season 8

S9: Season 9

S10: Season 10

S11: Season 11

S12: Season 12

S13: Season 13

S14: Season 14

S15: Season 15

S16: Season 16

S17: Season 17

S18: Season 18

S19: Season 19

S20: Season 20

S21: Season 21

S22: Season 22