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I Was a Teenage Head Writer
The Dick Van Dyke Show - S2 - E19
Mel wants the gang to rewrite a 17minute joke, Rob walks out on his job and is angry that Buddy & Sally didn't quit. Rob recalls the time he joined the show as head writer. Buddy makes fun of Rob. Rob acts like a car hopping to get Buddy & Sally to like him. Alan likes what Rob wrote along with Buddy & Sally. Rob learns Buddy & Sally quit
The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 2 - 32 Episode s
2x1 - Never Name a Duck
September 26, 1962
Mel brings a box of toys from last weeks show. Rob takes a baby ducks home and doesn't want to see them because she will fall in love with them. Ritchie names the ducks Oliver and Stanley. Rob takes Stanley to the vet because the duck is sick Ritchie learns that Stanley went back to the lake and met Olivia. Rob tells Ritchie that Oliver died because his needs weren't met (like taking him to the lake) Ritchie asks he can bring a wedding gift to Stanley & Olivia.
2x2 - The Two Faces of Rob
October 3, 1962
The staff has trouble coming up with a joke. Rob wonders would a wife recognize her husband's voice if he changed it? Rob does that hoping to trick Laura (he manages to trick himself!) Laura dresses up and gives Rob an Italian dinner. Laura continues to let Rob suffer, Now Rob calls as the other man asking Laura for a date at an Italian place at 4:30 thinking she won't go but she does! Laura gets a call thinking it's Rob again on the phone when it is someone else.
2x3 - The Attempted Marriage
October 10, 1962
Rob wants to have more sleep, Ritchie comes in with a tray and wants it read to him. This leads Rob Ritchie the problems of getting married they spend time figuring out the day. Laura is at church, Rob wonders if he should marry Laura. Rob is late to his wedding due to the Jeep not starting and wondering if he should go through with it. Rob tries to get the Jeep going and he hops to the church with a broken ankle. Laura comes back ready to her the story. Rob and Laura hope to marry next Sunday, when they do Rob is sick and says, ""I Do"" at the wrong time and makes Laura leave! (he is so sick he has trouble understanding what is being said)
2x4 - Bank Book 6565696
October 17, 1962
Laura has a bank account Rob thinks the money will go to his birthday present that he really wants to finds gets a shock when he finds out it is a sports shirt. Buddy & Sally give Rob a movie screen that won't go with the projector that really wanted. Rob gets mad because Laura has her ""own"" money, Laura tells Rob the idea come from her mom who gave her dad his own room after 25 years of marriage!
2x5 - Hustling the Hustler
October 24, 1962
Buddy is about to lose 25 cents for every time he insults Mel. Buddy's brother Blackie drops by, faking his way through pool (he really knows how to play!) so much so that Rob and Blackie play for ! The bet gets higher as Rob figures out that his playing with a real pool shark! Rob wonders how can give of soda crackers. Blackie now sells real estate! Rob is about to find he married a real pool shark!
2x6 - My Husband Is Not a Drunk
October 31, 1962
Rob invites Glenn Jameson over to see if post hypnotic suggestions will work on Buddy (who says they won't work) Glenn tries to make Buddy drunk, Ritchie wants a glass of water, which hits Rob and makes him, drunk (due to a bell ringing) Rob is still under even after Glenn leaves! Rob has really hard day at work and wears his suit inside out and gets Marge (who is on the phone) caught in his coat. He forgets that typewriters also have bells and messes up the joke!
2x7 - What's in a Middle Name?
November 7, 1962
Ritchie wonders what the ""R"" in his middle name stands for (Rose Bud) Rob and Laura figure out how to explain how he got Rose Bud for a middle name, it started when Laura tells Rob she is going to have a baby. Ritchie learns he has 7 middle names! (which spell out Rose Bud)
2x8 - Like a Sister
November 14, 1962
Rob thinks Rick Vallone isn't right for Sally and tries to make him drunk (Sally hates drunks) and asks Rick to fall in love with Laura. Laura is always to smart for Rob and he realizes love is too hard to break.
2x9 - The Night the Roof Fell In
November 21, 1962
Rob comes home mad because the script needed a rewrite, Buddy was late & Sally left early. Rob leaves mad and goes for a walk. Laura wants a chance to talk to somebody so Millie listens not quite sure what they fought about.
2x10 - The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally
November 28, 1962
Rob worries that Buddy & Sally aren't his friends & falling in love with each other. Rob calls Buddy at home and Pickles and thinks Buddy picked up the phone. Now Rob has proof (or so he thinks) that Buddy are working on another show. They are doing a nightclub act on the side.
2x11 - A Bird in the Head Hurts
December 5, 1962
Ritchie thinks a woodpecker attacked him. He goes to hide again, Millie is the only one that can prove Ritchie was attacked by the bird. Rob calls everyone he hopes can kill the bird and finds the Game Warden can kill it. Rob tries to catch the bird. Rob finds out that Ritchie's hair is used for a nest! Ritchie sends extra hair for the nest.
2x12 - Gesundheit, Darling
December 12, 1962
Rob, Laura, Jerry & Millie are playing cards, when Jerry thinks Rob might be sneezing because he keeps losing a game. Rob thinks he could be allergic to Laura. Rob goes to the doctor to find out he could be allergic to his wife!
2x13 - A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own
December 19, 1962
Rob bites some chicken and breaks a tooth but feels bad when another dentist fixes the tooth. He worries that Jerry won't be his friend. Rob tries not to show his teeth. Jerry isn't mad at Rob.
2x14 - Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra
December 26, 1962
Rob recalls the time Mrs. Billings asked him to direct the variety show, which centers on Cleopatra. Rob soon finds that getting someone to play the role is very easy when Jerry suggests Laura do the role. Rob feels uncomfortable that she kisses another man. Laura gives up the role and soon agrees to do another variety show again.
2x15 - The Cat Burglar
January 2, 1963
Rob & Laura read about a cat burglar and wants his picture in the paper. A noise is heard & Rob takes the gun but can't find the bullets! Laura puts them in her Jewelry box!
2x16 - The Foul Weather Girl
January 9, 1963
Laura has a problem when a girl asks for help in lading a role on the show. Laura's problems get worse as Janie tells Laura how far they go back in high school and she is single. Laura gets mad when Rob works nights with Janie, She begins to thank Mel and not Rob.
2x17 - Will You Two Be My Wife?
January 16, 1963
Rob has left a manuscript of a book that tells about Rob engaged to someone else. Rob is also in love with Laura, he has to tell her that he is engaged to Dorothy (that's Rob asked for two three day passes) hoping he could tell Dorothy that he wants to marry Laura. Buddy and Sally read the manuscript in secret hoping Rob won't catch them reading it. Rob says Dorothy is 75% sexier than Laura. Dorothy gets mad that she won't be married to him. Rob comes in with aching feet wanting Buddy & Sally to read it!
2x18 - Ray Murdock's X-Ray
January 23, 1963
Rob is asked to go on The Ray Murdock's x-ray Show unaware that he will make Laura sound crazy When Ray changes the topic and won't Rob correct his mistake on air and has to keep Laura from watching the show. Rob has the TV fixed (even though it is fine) Laura finds out Rob is on the show in 5 minutes!
2x19 - I Was a Teenage Head Writer
January 30, 1963
Mel wants the gang to rewrite a 17minute joke, Rob walks out on his job and is angry that Buddy & Sally didn't quit. Rob recalls the time he joined the show as head writer. Buddy makes fun of Rob. Rob acts like a car hopping to get Buddy & Sally to like him. Alan likes what Rob wrote along with Buddy & Sally. Rob learns Buddy & Sally quit
2x20 - It May Look Like a Walnut!
February 6, 1963
In this classic, Rob has a dream - inspired by a late-night horror movie on TV - involving walnuts, missing thumbs, and a creature named Kolac.
2x21 - My Husband Is a Check-Grabber
February 13, 1963
Rob and Laura are going home from dinner and Rob has no idea why she is mad. Laura worries that Rob ""buys"" love. Rob asks if he can pay a house payment so that Laura won't think he has fallen in love with the bank. Laura is glad Rob didn't pay the check, Rob finds one of his faults so he traded toys to make people like him.
2x22 - Don't Trip Over That Mountain
February 20, 1963
Rob wants to go skiing, Laura worries that he will hurt himself (she dreamed he hurt his body) Laura's dream comes true. The phone rings 6 times that means Rob had an accident. Rob tells Jerry that the only part of him that doesn't hurt is his lips! Rob plans to ""hide"" his body from Laura.
2x23 - Give Me Your Walls!
February 27, 1963
Rob wishes he could draw a horse so he draws one on paper but doesn't watch where he draws because he ends up drawing on the wall! Rob tries to find something to take the ink off, but makes things worse. So Rob and Laura hire a painter that once came by looking for work. Laura gets out her endless pile of cards until they find Vito Giotto's card. They are soon in for shock they find out that Vito likes to make a job long (5 days long) because he loves the walls! There is a little problem Vito likes to get started at 5:30 am! Rob and Laura to figure out how to rid themselves of Vito and can't because Rob looks like a priest. Vito charges Laura and Rob dollars for his wok, He doesn't want to be paid yet because he promises Ritchie he would do some magic tricks.
2x24 - The Sam Pomerantz Scandals
March 6, 1963
Buddy and Sally are asked by Rob to help in a show for a friend of Rob's - Danny Brewster.
2x25 - The Square Triangle
March 20, 1963
Rob is scared to learn that French actor/singer Jacques Savon is the guest on the show this week. Laura is later also scared to learn that Jacques is the guest on Alan's show. Rob and Laura met Jacques and his then wife Yvette when they visited Europe years ago at a time when Jacques' career was just about to take off. It is a trip that they never speak of, although neither knows exactly why the other doesn't talk about it. As well, their individual fear of seeing Jacques is because of the same end result but for a slightly different reason. Neither Rob or Laura knows that the other really doesn't want to see Jacques, both who try to avoid him at all cost. But when Jacques finds out that both Rob and Laura are scared to see him and the reason why, he has to figure out a way to preserve the romantic memory that both have about that European trip.
2x26 - I'm No Henry Walden!
March 27, 1963
Rob gets to meet Henry Walden at literary party but feels uncomfortable when he learns that he is the only comedy writer. The Hotels can't get their names right!
2x27 - Racy Tracy Rattigan
April 3, 1963
Alan Brady is out of town so Tracy Rattigan is the host. Rob is going to have to fight to keep Laura. Rob doesn't like how fast things are going. Tracy loves driving Rob crazy, The gang writes the best show for Tracy.
2x28 - Divorce
April 10, 1963
Buddy calls Rob to say he is divorcing Pickles because Buddy finds checks written to Floyd B. Bariscale! Rob calls Buddy at the hotel and finds he took sleeping pills, Buddy says Pickles was married before to Barton Nelson (a.k.a.: Floyd B. Bariscale who changed his name when he got out of jail. Pickles sent money to Floyd so Buddy's mom wouldn't find out that she was married before.
2x29 - It's a Shame She Married Me
April 17, 1963
Rob meets Jim Darling who is an old flame Laura dated. Rob won't tell Laura he ran into Jim at the office, Rob tells Jim they can't make it to his party because Ritchie is sick. Jim then brings the party to the Petrie home. Rob wants Laura to wear a jacket so Jim won't fall in love with her again.
2x30 - A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise
April 24, 1963
Rob nearly ruins his own surprise birthday party after Laura finds out Rob already knows! Laura stays up all night planning the party. The guests are hiding in the Petrie house!
2x31 - Jilting the Jilter
May 1, 1963
Sally may have found a fella but he wants to take Sally away from The Alan Brady Show, so she can write Freddy White. To keep Sally Rob & Buddy write an act hoping Freddy will lose interest in Sally. Freddy wants to marry Sally to help his career. Sally leaves the office to have good two-hour cry and change clothes (which should take three hours according to Sally)
2x32 - When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen
May 8, 1963
Rob needs an idea for the show for the week; Ritchie helps his dad by giving him an idea for talking bowling pin. (Rob has no idea that the bowling pin idea has been used for three years on The Uncle Spunky Show!) Now Alan will be sued by The Uncle Spunky Show. Rob tells Alan to cut the joke, Alan wants to buy the joke and appear on ""The Uncle Spunky Show"" free and get a pie in the face!