Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors
The Dick Van Dyke Show - S3 - E11
Rob hires a maid who turns out to have broken arm, speaks only Spanish, and is expecting a live-in position.
The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 3 - 32 Episode s
3x1 - That's My Boy???
September 25, 1963
Rob recounts the day he became convinced that they brought home the wrong baby from the hospital.
3x2 - The Masterpiece
October 2, 1963
Rob unwittingly bids on a painting at an auction, and when he gets it home, he uncovers another painting underneath that looks like a Grant Wood.
3x3 - Laura's Little Lie
October 9, 1963
Are Rob and Laura married? This episode brings up that question as Rob asks Laura to sign insurance forms that Laura never signed. Laura does everything she can to hide a mistake Rob doesn't know about. Rob is tired of ""losing his wife"" He finds out he married a 17 year-old Laura.
3x4 - Very Old Shoes, Very Old Rice
October 16, 1963
Rob and Laura must get remarried for legal purposes, but it provokes an argument that could derail their plans.
3x5 - All About Eavesdropping
October 23, 1963
Rob and Laura overhear Jerry and Millie complaining about them on the kid’s walkie-talkies, which makes for a cold dinner party.
3x6 - Too Many Stars
October 30, 1963
Rob is recruited to direct another talent show, but this time Laura faces competition as the star.
3x7 - Who and Where Was Antonio Stradivarius?
November 6, 1963
While working on a joke, Rob should be going to Alan's house to talk about the joke. After hitting himself on the head with a violin (a real one) Rob goes to a party. The party is in Red Hook, New Jersey!
3x8 - Uncle George
November 13, 1963
Rob’s Uncle George comes to visit in search of a wife.
3x9 - Big Max Calvada
November 20, 1963
A gangster asks Rob and the gang to write an act for his no-talent nephew.
3x10 - The Ballad of the Betty Lou
November 27, 1963
The Ballad of Betty Lou, Is episode seventy-two, In which Rob and Jerry buy a boat, That really got their goat, 'Cause just as Laura predicted, As the Wisard of Id did, Their friendship was tested, But as soon as they rested, All was fine, So cast off the Line! - [email protected]
3x11 - Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors
December 4, 1963
Rob hires a maid who turns out to have broken arm, speaks only Spanish, and is expecting a live-in position.
3x12 - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears
December 11, 1963
Rob thinks he has seen the suspects in a jewelry store robbery, but is afraid to go to the police.
3x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents
December 18, 1963
The staff has to plan a Christmas show.
3x14 - The Third One from the Left
January 1, 1964
Rob tries to stop a guest star from falling in love with him.
3x15 - My Husband is the Best One
January 8, 1964
Rob is interviewed by a reporter, but the resulting story gives him a little too much credit for comfort at the office, thanks to Laura’s input.
3x16 - The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer
January 15, 1964
Laura tries to setup Arthur with a wife she invites Sally & Donna on two different days. Laura really wants Donna date Arthur, when Donna & Arthur hit it Rob does everything to stop the date by locking Donna in the bathroom! Rob feels Sally won't have a chance with Arthur, Rob and Laura wonder who Arthur picked for his date, he picks his former wife who he married twice!
3x17 - The Life and Love of Joe Coogan
January 22, 1964
Rob meets Laura's old flame Joe Coogan at the country club, Rob tells Laura he met Joe and Laura thinks he looked in her shoebox where her pomes are kept. (The pomes are kept in the basement) What Laura doesn't know is the Sonnets give a clue as to what Joe does for a living. Laura & Millie play Golf with Father Joe Coogan. Laura invites Joe to dinner along with Buddy & Sally only to get a big shock.
3x18 - A Nice, Friendly Game of Cards
January 29, 1964
Rob and friends play poker with marked cards that Rob was using to teach Ritchie some magic tricks.
3x19 - Happy Birthday and Too Many More
February 5, 1964
Laura & Rob are deciding when to have his party day should it be 3 weeks after or before Ritchie actual date of birth? Laura says she will have the party at Dizzy Land (not Disney Land). Rob & Laura forget the Gardner has come and have the party inside (with 63 kids!) because the garden needed to be fertilized!
3x20 - The Brave and the Backache
February 12, 1964
Laura wonders why Rob never wants to be alone with her.
3x21 - The Pen is Mightier Than the Mouth
February 19, 1964
Sally is famous overnight leaving Rob and Buddy to work alone.
3x22 - My Part-Time Wife
February 26, 1964
Laura helps out at the office but drives Rob crazy while Sally is away.
3x23 - Honeymoons Are for the Lucky
March 4, 1964
Rob recalls a time when he left Camp Crowder to spend his honneymoon with Laura.
3x24 - How to Spank a Star
March 11, 1964
Rob's favorite star Paula Marshall is due to guest on the Alan Brady show but her demands cause problems for everybody.
3x25 - The Plots Thicken
March 18, 1964
The Petrie's parents fight over where Laura and Rob should be buried. They have to decide which burial plot to choose without upsetting their in-laws.
3x26 - Scratch My Car and Die
March 25, 1964
Rob has a new car that he loves and won't let anyone touch. When Laura takes Ritchie to school she gets a scratch on the car! When Rob finds out he wants to sue the person who did it.
3x27 - The Return of Edwin Carp
April 1, 1964
Alan Brady is on vacation so Rob arranges for Edwin Carp and other stars of the golden era of radio comedy to guest on a tv special.
3x28 - October Eve
April 8, 1964
Laura's past comes back to haunt her in form of painting that is at an art gallery.
3x29 - Dear Mrs. Petrie, Your Husband is in Jail
April 15, 1964
Rob ends up in jail after contacting an army buddy.
3x30 - My Neighbor's Husband's Other Life
April 22, 1964
Rob and Laura see Jerry go out with another woman.
3x31 - I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at All
April 29, 1964
Rob goes to Buddy’s barber for a dubious treatment to prevent baldness.
3x32 - Teacher's Petrie
May 13, 1964
The teacher falls in love with Laura.